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Original poster

Could you(/have you ever) taken yourself away for a day without anyone knowing?

51 replies

polka6 · 20/03/2023 16:44

Amidst our Monday blues, a colleague mentioned how she fantasises about one day getting up to go to work, DH and kids not suspect a thing but instead of going to work take the day off to do whatever she pleases - lunch and a spa etc then come back home at 5.30 and not tell anyone and continue as normal.

Has anyone done this?

OP posts:
MaryPoppinsHat · 20/03/2023 17:36

I have 🙋🏼‍♀️it was amazing.
I have no regrets
Give myself 2 of these a year... Highly recommend it!

MrsDoylesDoily · 20/03/2023 17:43

No, and hell would freeze over before I thought I'd need to do something so completely normal in secret.

Why would she feel she needed to hide it?

FourTeaFallOut · 20/03/2023 17:45

If I had to tip-toe around and hide my plans from those around me, I'd be leaving for a lot longer than a day.

MynameisJune · 20/03/2023 17:48

Absolutely not, I tell my DH where I’m going. If I want a spa day alone then I go.

It raises red flags for me that she would need to do it in secret.

Champooforyou · 20/03/2023 17:48

I do it about twice a year. DH works away a lot, the dc will be in school and wrap around as normal, and I take a days leave and do whatever I want. It's bloody lush.

tired17 · 20/03/2023 17:57

Yes, I did it once. We were having a tough time with our DS. If he'd known I wasn't at work he would have refused to go to school and I really needed time to just breathe.

It was brilliant and I felt much better after. Never felt the need to repeat it but really needed it at the time

Marmighty · 20/03/2023 18:21

Yes, I didn't do anything much or go anywhere like a spa, but if I'd told DH I was taking the day off he'd have expected me to do some of the numerous chores pending in our home or spend the time with him whereas I just wanted a few hours to myself

MrsDoylesDoily · 20/03/2023 18:23

Champooforyou · 20/03/2023 17:48

I do it about twice a year. DH works away a lot, the dc will be in school and wrap around as normal, and I take a days leave and do whatever I want. It's bloody lush.

Why the need to do it in secret though?

user40816 · 20/03/2023 18:28

One day I got up, packed a bag (including a bottle of spirit), locked up my apartment and went for a walk. I didn't intend on coming back and had no idea where I was going. It was a beautifully sunny day though.

Tiredandbored · 20/03/2023 18:28

I've done it, had a training day in work that I didn't need to attend. Took myself off to the spa for the day, it was amazing!

For those asking why I would need to do it in secret, it is because I would feel too guilty taking a full day to myself, even if my DH wanted me to, and wouldn't relax as much. It was when my kids were very young and I wouldn't have been able to justify (in my own head) having a full day to myself.

Doing it in secret meant I could completely chill out and not be thinking that I needed to get home to help with the chores/kids/dinner until my usual time.

megletthesecond · 20/03/2023 18:28

Never. I'm the only contact for my teens so I can't go far.

Champooforyou · 20/03/2023 18:38

MrsDoylesDoily · 20/03/2023 18:23

Why the need to do it in secret though?

Show quote history

Because if I told friends / Mum etc they'd suggest meeting up for lunch. If the dc knew they'd be after skipping after school club and going to McDonald's or something, if DH knew he'd say "Oh will you just post a parcel for me" or some such thing, then suddenly bam, it's not a day off anymore.

BeingPartOfThings · 20/03/2023 18:44

I've had lovely days to myself with my DH and DC knowing I was doing so.

I'd feel really upset if my DH planned something like this for himself in secret. The deception would be a big issue.

Everyone is entitled to have some time to themselves if they want/need it. You shouldn't have to lie to do this.

IHeartGeneHunt · 20/03/2023 18:46

Once a month I take myself away on the train for a day whilst DD is at nursery and it's my day off work. I don't have anyone to tell but it's not a secret anyway!

Beaverbridge · 20/03/2023 18:46

No but I'm going to do it soon. Minute I say I'm going some where DD wants to tag on!

jollyhollyday · 20/03/2023 18:47

@Champooforyou
Nailed it, I know my DM would love to go somewhere with me, DD10 would say she wasn't feeling well, feel guilty for not taking DS to school rather than bus. It just means guilt that you should be elsewhere, not having that completely entitled to but selfish time to yourself.
Keeping a day to yourself however you spend it is guilt free (personally love a day on settee watching crap :-))

MalteserGeezee · 20/03/2023 18:48

Tiredandbored · 20/03/2023 18:28

I've done it, had a training day in work that I didn't need to attend. Took myself off to the spa for the day, it was amazing!

For those asking why I would need to do it in secret, it is because I would feel too guilty taking a full day to myself, even if my DH wanted me to, and wouldn't relax as much. It was when my kids were very young and I wouldn't have been able to justify (in my own head) having a full day to myself.

Doing it in secret meant I could completely chill out and not be thinking that I needed to get home to help with the chores/kids/dinner until my usual time.

It's exactly this for me too. It's a "me" problem, feeling guilty doing this, but I do.

MrsDoylesDoily · 20/03/2023 18:48

Tiredandbored · 20/03/2023 18:28

I've done it, had a training day in work that I didn't need to attend. Took myself off to the spa for the day, it was amazing!

For those asking why I would need to do it in secret, it is because I would feel too guilty taking a full day to myself, even if my DH wanted me to, and wouldn't relax as much. It was when my kids were very young and I wouldn't have been able to justify (in my own head) having a full day to myself.

Doing it in secret meant I could completely chill out and not be thinking that I needed to get home to help with the chores/kids/dinner until my usual time.

You would've felt guilty but had absolutely no guilt about telling lies?

How does that work then?

jollyhollyday · 20/03/2023 18:49

It is not that anyone would make me feel bad intentionally or stop me from going etc. And of course I can tell them straight no this is my day to myself but then I'm wracked with guilt and don't enjoy the day
Not harming anyone and it happens 1/2 a year - rest of annual leave is always always child focused and so are weekends etc

VyeBrator · 20/03/2023 18:51

BeingPartOfThings · 20/03/2023 18:44

I've had lovely days to myself with my DH and DC knowing I was doing so.

I'd feel really upset if my DH planned something like this for himself in secret. The deception would be a big issue.

Everyone is entitled to have some time to themselves if they want/need it. You shouldn't have to lie to do this.

Some people lie to their partners at the drop of a hat - that's a red flag.

Some people's partners prevent them from doing anything nice for themselves - that's also a red flag.

I'm shocked at the amount of liars on here, trying to justify it by saying they'd 'feel guilty' if they told the truth.

VyeBrator · 20/03/2023 18:52

jollyhollyday · 20/03/2023 18:49

It is not that anyone would make me feel bad intentionally or stop me from going etc. And of course I can tell them straight no this is my day to myself but then I'm wracked with guilt and don't enjoy the day
Not harming anyone and it happens 1/2 a year - rest of annual leave is always always child focused and so are weekends etc

Bare faced lies are very harmful if you get found out.

What if someone saw you in town/at the spa/wherever?

Soontobemumof2x · 20/03/2023 18:57

MrsDoylesDoily · 20/03/2023 18:48

You would've felt guilty but had absolutely no guilt about telling lies?

How does that work then?

Show quote history

It baffles me how some people are so pressed about this!

NeedWineNow · 20/03/2023 19:01

Yes I've done it before. I had an injury on my wrist some years ago which meant I was signed off sick for a couple of weeks. DH was at work and I was feeling a bit stir crazy so took myself off to Croydon for a wander round the shops (we lived in South Croydon at the time). On impulse got off the bus at East Croydon station and took the first train to Brighton. Had a day pottering, had some lunch and came home. Had a lovely day.

MaMisled · 20/03/2023 19:02

DH and I had a little tiff one summer morning but it was one little tiff too many. When he nipped to the shop, I packed a Rucksack with flask, water, snacks, book, phone and picnic blanket and headed for the hills. I walked for miles dancing to 80s club tracks, I stopped and snacked, watched the birds and deer and squirrels then napped in a field with my book under a tree! I did not see another human from 10am to 8pm! It was such a fantastic, free day!

NotDeborahMeadan · 20/03/2023 19:05

Yes but I didn't necessarily hide it. I might have mentioned it when booking but didn't necessarily remind everyone either!

Highly recommend it (not hiding it but taking a day wholly to yourself)