Could you(/have you ever) taken yourself away for a day without anyone knowing?

[polka6]

Amidst our Monday blues, a colleague mentioned how she fantasises about one day getting up to go to work, DH and kids not suspect a thing but instead of going to work take the day off to do whatever she pleases - lunch and a spa etc then come back home at 5.30 and not tell anyone and continue as normal.

Has anyone done this?

Agree with PPs that it doesn't need to be kept a secret

I haven’t done this but don’t see an issue with it. Why is it anyone else’s business? Choosing not to tell anyone isn’t lying, it’s setting a personal boundary about what you want to share.

I usually save my annual leave for the school hols but I occasionally take a days leave from work on days where my dS is in nursery and Dd is at school... Work obvs know im off but i don't tell anyone else i.e. my mum as she always gives me a hard time for sending Ds in to nursery when im off... but i have explained its not really a day off if I'm looking after the kids....
I usually drop them off at normal time, come back home and go to bed for an hour, do chores around the house in peace and then chill out and watch crap on tv.... I don't tell my friends either as i don't want to meet up for lunch or coffee on these days they are purely for me to be lazy and childfree and i really enjoy them :)

Yes all the time, l thought everyone did .
Zero guilt, no partner and my older teenagers like that l value my freedom and am spontaneous.

@VyeBrator for me personally I have only ever stayed home and watched tv, so no spa days or trips to town to worry about. I don't think I could spend that kind of money solely on myself but I do appreciate time where I can not think and rush about and fill my day and worry about everyone else
My DH knows just not my kids nor DM for reasons stated previously
But then again I know I have caught up on chores on those rare days too so never wholly relaxing (sometimes DIY)

This. It wouldn’t occur to me to hide something so ordinary. I recently checked DH wasn’t going to be away with work and went off to a remote cottage solo from Sunday to Wednesday. It was excellent.

I’d do it, might not tell them in advance because it would be spur of the moment, but I’d tell them about it later on in the evening. I work 4 days a week and for the most part they don’t know in any detail what I do on my day off, I just crack on with it, but there’s no way I’d keep it a secret or lie, that would be red flags waving for me too. If they asked in the morning I would say too, but they rarely do (teens + DH) and I often don’t decide what I’m doing till they’ve all gone out.

I’m single and live on my own so this is my every day 😂

I'm surprised anyone gets away with this, I thought everyone on here had tracking devices on their other half... oh sorry I mean find my phone 😂

Both DH and I have always spent time doing our own thing but no need to be secretive about it. I would hate to be in a relationship where I felt guilty about spending a day doing what I wanted ... work commitments and finances permitting of course.
When our DS was younger we would, of course, discuss re; childcare arrangements but I had many a pleasant day as a SAHM with DS in nursery and I was at the beach all day (so much nicer on your own with a good book and a picnic than being with a young DC!) ..... but I wouldn't hide the truth or feel I had to pretend to be doing chores all day. Likewise if my DH wants to spend the day golfing, rugby match or go on a ski trip ... go ahead and enjoy it (I love time alone at home ).

And we don't have 'find a phone' or whatever on our mobiles ...

I used to take my self off for weekends away when I was single - rarely told anyone where I was off to, which with hindsight was not the safest thing to do.

But now, I'd tell DH - just because...he wouldn't bat an eyelid, he'd just tell me to enjoy myself.

I think it's less that it's a secret and more that you don't need to spend time explaining yourself/ batting away offers of company (which would usually be welcome). You can just slip away without a palaver.
I've done this a few times, sometimes when I wanted the day alone and once DH and I did it together, not telling the kids so we could still leave them at after school club and have a full day out together.
I think when I've done it I've probably mentioned it to DH and would tell people afterwards.

I've done it in the past. It's not lying or being secretive, it's having some personal space and firm boundaries.

Once I got home from from dropping the DC at school, intending to drive to work. I had some hours owing to me so phoned them to arrange the day off, went to buy some treat food and spent several hours in bed.

Another time I drove to a nearby city and had a day of pottering in bookshops and cafes.

Wouldn’t it be just as much personal space and firm boundaries if you said ‘I’m taking the day to myself’ and just did it?

I can understand not telling DCs who might be too little to understand why they can't come along, but I can't imagine a situation where I wouldn't be unsettled to find that DH had done this after the fact, and had lied to me about being at work.

I'd have no problem with him doing it, in fact he has before, taken a day off and gone on a big bike ride and a pub lunch by himself, but I've known in advance.

No, but when the kids were very small, I did pretend I was going out a couple of times, but instead just went and slept on the top bunk in their room. The top bunk was only used for teddies at that point (they must have been young enough to be using the cot and the bottom bunk) so no chance of them finding me. There WAS another adult in the house, before anyone is too shocked 🤣

It's sort of a question of who owns your time.
Do you own your time, or do others? Do you owe other people an account of yourself 24/7?

I did it when my eldest was little. I took a day off in November two years in a row . One time I went for a big walk with the dog and the other I went shopping in Manchester. One of the times I dropped her off at the childminder in my work clothes then went home and got changed. I was so ashamed that I was taking a day off and not spending it with my baby. But I was working, doing all the childcare and dog walking and had no family around so needed a break.

I can’t imagine needing to lie / omit truth. If I wanted to do that I’d just do it and tell DH

Yes - several times - I love it. Have been "on call" available for all/everyone/kids/elderly parents/work etc for over 40 years - I have no qualms about "escaping" every now and then - and never feel the need to go into great detail/explain/justify.

It wouldn't happen if it wasn't feasible of course - and I can always get home/where am needed

I didn't tell any lies. My DH assumed I was at work, I didn't tell him I wasn't 🤷

I'd love to. But am worried that the stress of catching up on a days work would spoil it for me.

But the idea of doing this is so appealing. Just not being "in demand" for a day

I went away for four nights on my own (DH knew) and it was wonderful. I don’t even remember who looked after the children. When he was away business I did occasionally sneak a night away, leaving DC with friends. He never knew , cos he never called me.

I own my own time

Which is exactly why if I want to take a day off and do something for me, I don't feel I need to lie about it.