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Original poster

Post divorce - moving out of London to where?

48 replies

Fishingforhelp · 13/03/2023 19:47

I currently live in London with STB-ex and 4 DC (aged 16-21). I have (stupidly) been a SAHM for 22 years and am soon going to have to work (which I’m looking forward to, albeit I am realistic that it will be a poorly paid, menial job as I have no experience). When the divorce goes through, we will split everything approx 50-50 (as kids will be over 18 by then) and I will need to move as London will be out of the question because I still desperately want to provide a home for the DCs (who will be at uni or on the verge of going but need somewhere to live in the hols). Btw, my ex plans to stay in London and will only be able to afford a 2-bed flat with his share of the equity so won’t be in a position to house them. The court won’t consider their housing in divorce proceedings as they will be over 18 (never mind that they need somewhere to live in Uni holidays!)

So I was thinking of which city to move to where I can get a 3 or 4 bed house or flat using the equity generated when we sell our current London house (I won’t be eligible for a mortgage). Approx £400k I reckon. Also, it is important that said new city has good job prospects for DC graduates and a decent public transport network.

It is all rather overwhelming and I was thinking perhaps Sheffield or Liverpool but would be very grateful for your suggestions.

OP posts:
DrMarciaFieldstone · 13/03/2023 19:48

Are your DC all planning on moving back in with you and looking for graduate jobs wherever you decide to move to?

Original poster
Fishingforhelp · 13/03/2023 19:51

@DrMarciaFieldstone too early to say tbh. Youngest wants to be a medic so will be in Uni for 6 years from 2024. Eldest graduates in 2024 and has said she would like to have the option - but depends on job prospects.

OP posts:
madroid · 13/03/2023 20:04

How exciting! A completely new start. Good luck!

Worth looking at the north west - Liverpool, Chester, Manchester all within an hour on public transport plus seven universities between them

4 beds:
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/128704472#/?channel=RES_BUY
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/131799746#/?channel=RES_BUY
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/126000656#/?channel=RES_BUY
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/127569953#/?channel=RES_BUY
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/129397367#/?channel=RES_BUY

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Original poster
Fishingforhelp · 13/03/2023 20:16

@madroid thank you for those links - blown away by how much you can get for your money there! Will investigate further

OP posts:
Difficultsums · 13/03/2023 20:27

I wonder if they will want to spend uni holidays somewhere so far from where they grew up. You might be better in striking distance of London.

Mexicocalling · 13/03/2023 20:50

How exciting! I would probably start by thinking about what sort of new life YOU want. The ability to housing your children is a given, and to be honest, with £400k you will likely be able to do so in most of the UK. Sooo… do you fancy being close to the seaside?! Or like to be close to wide open countryside? That will help narrow your search down to a region, then you can choose from city, or market town, or even rural living but within reach of a city for work 🙂.

Schoolchoicesucks · 13/03/2023 21:19

Agree with PP - I would think it unlikely that all 4 or even 3 would want to base themselves in a city location that isn't where they grew up or went to University. Needing to housr all 4 of them may just be an occasional thing for visits.

Could you look at 3 beds within commute of London - so they could potentially live there while starting career in London, be close enough to visit friends, their dad etc. While allowing for all 4 to have somewhere to sleep at Christmas?

Tickledtrout · 13/03/2023 21:25

What about the East Midlands OP? Will give you the value for money you're looking for and striking distance of London. I love Nottingham but anywhere south of there would be easier.
I live in the North West now and the trains to London ( anywhere really) are dire.

theanswe · 14/03/2023 11:13

Head for a new life by the sea!

As long as you dont mind a terraced house you can get something reasonable in Southsea - eg www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/129467993# or more generally www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/find.html?locationIdentifier=OUTCODE%5E2116&minBedrooms=4&sortType=1&propertyTypes=&mustHave=&dontShow=&furnishTypes=&keywords=

Southsea is lovely - you will be within a 10 minute walk of the beach and theres theatres, bars and entertainment available in Southsea and Portsmouth. Its also like London in that everything is nearby and walkable. Chichester, Southampton and wider Hampshire, Sussex and Surrey are a short distance away. And train-wise you are 90 minutes or less into Waterloo which will be handy for the children to reach you and for you to go up to London

America12 · 14/03/2023 11:25

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/132435986

Milton Keynes

BlastedPimples · 14/03/2023 11:25

Edinburgh.

Solongtoshort · 14/03/2023 12:19

I live on the Wirral and can tell you Hoylake has a great community on @madroid post. I would live there in a heart beat.

UsernameNotAvailableNow · 14/03/2023 12:24

I would focus on somewhere with an easy train to London so they can see dad/friends. Liverpool and Chester both fit that bill. 2 hours to London Euston from either.

If you're looking at Liverpool, I'd recommend the South of the city. L8/17/18/19 postcodes. L17/18 particularly nice.

Mitchumforthewin · 14/03/2023 12:29

I’d think staying close to London would be better for the kids? To see their old school friends & also job prospects are going to be more varied. There are a lot of good places just outside the M25 that are easily commutable to London - eg Leighton Buzzard in Beds - half an hour to Euston and plenty of homes around the 400k mark.

Dodgeitornot · 14/03/2023 12:31

This is quite exciting! I don't have any meaningful suggestions as I've only ever lived in London but I hope you find something great. A cheaper train line would be my only suggestion, we've always found East Midlands trains very affordable.

gogohmm · 14/03/2023 12:41

You could afford where I am, outskirts of Bristol. Dc would have excellent job prospects but the house will be modest, eg townhouse. My next door neighbours house is up for £425k currently and is 3/4 bed. Good job prospects for the more menial end of the job sector as a thriving hospitality sector, healthy retail and popular with those seeking assisted living situations (couple of very posh complexes nearby)

BeStrongLittleRodney · 14/03/2023 12:55

Scotland - towns like Linlithgow, Polmont, Lenzie etc are on the main train route - service every 15 minutes - between Glasgow and Edinburgh, offering a huge range of further education and social life possibilities.

midsomermurderess · 14/03/2023 21:31

BlastedPimples · 14/03/2023 11:25

Edinburgh.

£400k isn't going to get you much of a 4-bed house or flat in Edinburgh. I was thinking Bristol, or is that pricey too?

underneaththeash · 14/03/2023 21:51

You’ll be able to get spousal maintenance for a few years.

commentnotaquestion · 14/03/2023 22:05

Agree that Bristol could be attractive for your kids and you could get a decent 4 bed in a solid suburb e.g. www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/132439016#/?channel=RES_BUY

PermanentTemporary · 14/03/2023 22:17

In these circumstances I might head to Birmingham, always liked it.

Tbh for sheer practicality you could look at Reading. For jobs and transport outside London you won't do better. And it can be a fun place - lots going on, 20 min by train from Paddington, west Berkshire countryside is lovely and easy to get to. But it's not beautiful or inspiring at all.

LadyJ2023 · 14/03/2023 22:22

Newcastle-upon-tyne great university here and lots of nice properties even less than this one www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/132333497?utm_campaign=property-details&utm_content=buying&utm_medium=sharing&utm_source=copytoclipboard#/&channel=RES_BUY leaving you some in the pot to get on your feet

LondonBricks · 14/03/2023 22:27

Honestly don't
Try and stay in London-the children can sleep on the floor in his flat or yours. Once they leave university they can live on their own with friends.

Do you have a job now? Even on a basic London £15 an hour you would be able to get a small mortgage to top up your £400k (you can get a mortgage up to at least 67)

I would get a 1 bed flat in Westminster or Pimlico and enjoy being single in central London.

LondonBricks · 14/03/2023 22:29

Just to add. have you asked your children about this?
It does sound as if you have those expectation that they will study and then live and work in the same city as you? They cant possibly say now how they will feel in 6 years time and it isnt fair to put an expectation on them.

Are they not much more likely to want to get back to London?

Original poster
Fishingforhelp · 14/03/2023 22:31

Thank you all for your good wishes and suggestions. I am reading every one and just digesting them, following the links to houses you’ve posted and trying to work out what is most important to me. My thoughts so far: 1. Will need a 3 bed house not 5 since, as PP have said, highly unlikely all 4 DC will be with me at once (and we can use aerobeds for few nights that they are) 2) I really want a fresh start and to make new friends - the ones I have are all, almost without exception, shared with STB-ex and I don’t know which way they will jump if our divorce gets acrimonious (likely as he trying to protect his pension pot - I have no pension as long-term SAHM). So I want to move to new area. So far, Newcastle really appeals as does The Wirral

OP posts:
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