When your children grow up and leave home...

[putchyrsg]

Don you have any plans? For example are you going to downsize, move to a different location, eat out every night ( without feeling guilty that kids need to be fed) all lighthearted of course. My boys are teenagers and we have a holiday home an hour anyway. I plan to fully spend my summers there and enjoy not having to clean a whole big house ( and pick up after people all day)

Just curious to see if people have any little goals/ plans they are looking forward to once the responsibilities of young children are gone

I'll also add I'm looking forward to booking lots of little inexpensive trips away during term time as I'll not need to worry about schools. 🤣

Both our children returned home and live with us permanently again…

We want to take a year out and travel, spend much more time in our holiday home and do more multi day hikes.
I don't know if dc will ever leave home though! But we won't have to be there too all the time.

@Choconut yeah that's it I suppose even when the children are properly old enough to be working and have their own life. It will be very strange bro be able do up and go when ever you want.

I hate to wish the younger years away, but my youngest is 9 and I’m really looking forward to being able to leave her at home for extended periods of time so I can go to yoga class or for a drink with friends!!

I would like to downsize but when I asked one of my dc if he had thoughts of getting somewhere with his partner he said "no I can't leave you on your own mum" so thats that plan scuppered

@Gwdihooooo I know what you mean, I obviously love my boys so much and cherish my time with them, but it will be lovely to just go away last minute for the night with friends/DH and not have to iron school uniforms and make packed lunches 🙈

I have a feeling we will be financially responsible for my youngest for the rest of our lives and beyond via a trust due to his SEN but I am hoping we can get ourselves a 2 bed flat, by the sea with a good village cente.

I'm just looking forward to the mental freedom.

My eldest is at Uni, youngest recently stayed at her Grandparents' for a week. The freedom of not thinking about family meal times, worrying about leaving her on her own for too long, being available for GCSE worry talks etc Just drifting about doing what dh and I want to do, being utterly selfish was mind blowing.

The plan was to retire and spend the first year travelling the whole of the UK coastline.
Unfortunately DC3 was born with disabilities that mean he requires 24/7 care, so I will live vicariously through other people, including this thread.

I would assume him, quite strongly, that you will be perfectly fine living on your own. Hopefully, he gets the hint

Be careful OP - Someone lashed out at me on one of these threads before.

I said we would downsize.

They were mad and said how could I do that to DC - not having a room for them if they need it.

I had to point out that even if we downsized I would still have rooms for them if they needed them. I would just no longer need a playroom and a big (massive) garden 🙄

@TomatoSandwiches ❤️ I hope this post doesn't annoy or upset you. I certainly don't want to be insensitive .

I see retired couples at my gym do an exercise class together, shower (clearly not together), and then order their tea and a class of wine. It's a small thing but something that would be lovely (exercise is alternated at the moment so the other one is at home).

@Anotherschooldilemma oh dear, I dunno why people are funny about stuff like this, I mean it's only a bit of fun. Reality is cost of living will likely mean my children will never leave home, abd that's fine if they don't, it's all just a bit of fun

@NerrSnerr this is exactly what I'm talking about. The little things

The worries of being a parent of young adults are worse. Everything is much more serious. You like to think your DC are sorted and your parenting job is done once they go to university or got their degree, etc, but it’s actually got much worse, because the problems they might have are now serious, and as parents it’s hard to know what to do. All the worries you had about GCSEs and A levels pale into significance.

I left my exH. Then, once I was settled and happy I started fostering.

We plan to keep the house so the kids have a base, though 1 has plans to joined the Navy. The other will prob be living in the top bedroom till he's 40!
We are going to buy a camper van and mooch off when we can.

DS1 is at uni and DS2 goes this year. DH and I each have six weeks annual leave a year and are cautiously planning a week in the sun every other month. After having spent years paying through the nose during school holidays this is perfectly doable. We hope to retire early too and travel further.
In the meantime lots more eating out.

I hope I can’t reach this point, a few years off yet but I’m dreading it. I feel tearful at the idea of my babies leave our home…am I crazy.

Yes, I completely agree.

My kids are adults now and out on their own. It's absolutely fabulous. You can be happy they are on their own and miss them at the same time.

Lots of long walks with no one moaning about it being too far. Travel more, sleep on the plane, without having to carry everyone elses water bottles, snacks, hats, gloves, coats etc. Go shopping for clothes for me. Take long luxurious baths. Eat what I want to eat, when I want to eat it. Walk into a room and it will still look the way I left it.

DH and I love going out for dinner but it's too expensive to pay for 5 of us yet we couldn't leave kids alone so we never get to do it. One of the older ladies I worked with have a motorhome that they travel
The country and spot off and some amazing places- I love following her on Instagram