What is your dentist like with your child

[purpleme12]

My child is 9
But shy with new people and new situations.
We went to the dentist and she had a filling. (not one where she had to be numbed and didn't have that drill thing)
She didn't say a word during the whole thing (like I say she's shy). I had tried to encourage her about the talking but obviously it didn't work.
I don't feel the dentist tried to build any rapport up with her either though? No real putting her at ease?
Yes she wasn't crying but it must have obvious she was very shy and probably nervous as well.
I expected the dentist might be better with this?
In my opinion he didn't really explain what he was doing to her. Well a bit but not enough.
What is your dentist like with your child?
Is this normal?

I have a dentist who doesn't bother build a rapport, and 2 other dentists that are nice with my DC.
I would see a different dentist next time.

I love our dentist, and he loves us. He remembers stuff about my kids, and is so so sooooo nice to them. He's close to retirement age and we will be absolutely gutted when he goes.

That said, I don't think it hugely matters. Main thing is that they are good with our teeth.

I have a dentist that remember stuff too, I wonder if he puts a little note on my file or something. it's a private practice so probably more motivated to build rapport.
He must see thousands of people a year how he can remember stuff from years ago is a mystery and they're not amazingly unique or odd facts or anything exciting like that but I suppose being a dentist with a brain size of a planet they must have super powers..

They also asked me to fill in this sheet about my child's health and bring it into the dentist.
My child is healthy so no issues
But the dentist didn't ask for it or look at it.
Which is odd when they wanted me to fill it in?

Our dentist is ace with DC. Asks them their favourite snacks and drinks etc. (trying to get a sense of risk for their teeth). Tells them they’re doing well brushing and adds ‘don’t forget to do it like X as well’ so no one feels told off. Talks them through everything, goes at their pace, makes jokes about the goggles, says well done etc. Brilliant.

So everyone really positive so far

My nhs dentist was fab when mine were young children. They came with us for our check ups from 18 months and he would let them get onto the dental chair and ride up and down in it. Then when they were a little older he would then turn on the "sunshine" to shine into their mouth.

By the time he actually looked into their mouth properly for a check up they were both fine.

Always got to choose from a big box of stickers afterwards so he would chat to them about all the different choice of stickers he had at moment while doing the examination.
He has 3 kids of his own.

We had a terrible nhs dentist who actually shouted at my dd (8) because she was crying during a check up. DD is autistic and also very shy. I wrote a huge complaint and we moved to a specialist ASD dentist who is fantastic. DD is still scared but he talks her through everything, goes really slowly and crucially communicates with DD. It's made a real difference. It is over an hour away from us and private so I have to pay but it's totally worth it

My dentist is fab with my dc's, she asks about school and music etc... and puts them at ease.
When we were kids I remember my sister crying and the dentist smacked her across the face! My mother took us straight from there after bollocking him. Not sure if she took it further as we were quite young. This was the 80s and my sister still refuses to go to the dentist.

She didn't even get a sticker at the end.
She would have liked a sticker at least.
This is just confirming my thoughts that he's not very good.
I felt like I was the only one looking out for her in there, saying are you ok? To her

Brilliant. I take mine to one of the BUPA clinics (but don’t pay as they are under 18).

The dentist we see is lovey with my 9 year old. She’s never had to have any treatment just check ups.

Took my youngest for the first time just before her 2nd birthday and the dentist was great, it helped that she said she had a child the same age. Dd let her look in her mouth a little but that was it, but she showed her the instruments and let her chose some stickers.

We went for their check up last night. Youngest is now two and a half. She watched her sister sit in the chair and have her check up.

I wasn’t expecting much, but when it was her turn, she hopped in the chair and opened her mouth. She loved it 🤣

As soon as we got home, she stated saying “ooooh, my teeth hurt, go back!” and didn’t stop asking to go back to the dentist all evening.

Did they do a good job with the filling? And was your child happy with it? That's the most important thing

I assume the filling's ok lol.
My child was ok. Nothing more than ok.
I guess my concern/feeling here is more that I want her at ease/confident enough to speak out for herself/even just say words there.
But there was just no effort put in whatsoever.
At the opticians when she had her eye test she was the same. Really quiet. Wouldn't say a word. The optician eventually got her to say words/talk a bit.
I think that's more what I was expecting here

Ours is fabulous. We had one for years who was also fabulous but he's just retired so we have a new one but in the same practice and she's great too, really friendly, explains everything to DC well. This is all on the NHS we are very lucky!

My dentist is wonderful. She's so friendly and caring, she has asked about my progress with IVF every time I've been over the last few years and I've felt like she really cares on a personal level.

Once my daughter is old enough for the dentist I'd have no concerns taking her there and I'm sure she'd be made to felt welcome and relaxed too. If not, I would consider changing dentist or at least giving feedback about what they could do to improve things for children.

My dentist has always been amazing with DS - I was encouraged to bring him with me for my 6 monthly checkups from the get go. As soon as DS was old enough he would get him to sit on my lap in the chair, encouraged to bring a teddy/toy whose 'teeth' would always be checked. Stickers given every time.

Have never had a problem - DS now a strapping teenager with great teeth and no issues with going to the dentist.

I have fond memories of my own childhood dentist who would use one of the dental tools - possibly a drill? to draw/lightly scratch pictures on my fingernail of a house or similar before he used it in my mouth to show me it would not hurt - sounds so weird but I used to love going to the dentist!

Dentist is absolutely amazing my DC! DC loves the dentist and started going when first few teeth came through x

My dentist is shit. I'm desperately looking for a new Nhs place. I've been booted off the Nhs register at my current dentist so had to pay through "my dentist" scheme last time.

She decided to extract my daughters baby tooth, she didn't tell me the extra cost. Pinned my daughter down even though I asked her to let me hold her while she did it. My daughter is squeamish to the extreme. I said she's going to be sick (my older daughter was in the chair now) and she just stared at me. My daughter vomited EVERYWHERE! It was like the exorcist.

Then she got really pissy (the dentist) at me! Took them 45 mins to clean up and I had to stay as my 3rd daughter had not been seen (I should have left in hindsight!) my eldest is a very anxious child so had to stay with her but the vomiter was not allowed back in the waiting room so had to be outside supervised by her 12 year old sister.

Why did I stay? Wtf is wrong with me?!

Then I was charged an extra £60 for the tooth extraction, it had no root, was just stuck in the gum so took about 10 seconds.

Overall the dentist, the nurse and the receptionist were wholly unsympathetic. Wouldn't even let me take her out through the "in" door (covid) as I thought she was about to vomit again. There was no one else in the dentist waiting room at all so totally jobsworthy!

We've not been since (1 year). Luckily fil is a retired dentist so he can do checkups just not any treatment.

But she didn't want to talk. Talking at a dentist is difficult anyway.

DC's dentist is not particularly child-friendly or personable but he's ok and it's so hard to find a dentist we have to take what we can get!

She didn't 'want' to talk as she wasn't confident or at ease. It's not hard to talk when he's not doing anything in your mouth.

Thank you for everyone's comments and views.

Some people's experiences sound awful.

Any other experiences welcome

My children go to a different dentist to me because their one is so good with children and has a reputation for being brilliant with children. I can't fault them.

I'm not sure. Sometimes I wonder if we put too much expectations on professionals to do more than their job. Dentists train for years on teeth to sort your teeth out. I'm not suggesting they shouldn't be pleasant, of course they should. But, maybe the other stuff should come from the parent, let the professional get on with the job they're trained at. I think it must get very frustrating for them when children, who've never been before, come in clinging to their mums leg, already frightened - where did they get that from? They just want to get on with teeth.

But it's not a case that she's not been before, or that she was clinging to me.
She's been to check ups etc etc.
Personally, I do think part of (many) People's jobs is being personable and putting people at ease.
Like I say I did try to do my bit but at the same time I think there's only so much I can do