Page 2 | Dd doesn't want to play a boys part in school drama. What do I do?

Lonecatwithkitten · 08/03/2023 20:52

My daughter went to an all girls she always got cast in male parts right from juniors all the way through seniors. The drama teacher told her it was because she was a good actress and it was easier to play a girl so as one of the best actresses she was cast in the male roles Simba, the beast and pugsley. She's now at Italia Conti doing a musical theatre degree.
Perhaps you could try the same spin?

Caviarandgelatine · 08/03/2023 20:52

Regularsizedrudy · 08/03/2023 20:44

So she’s rather be a dwarf? Hmmm I think she’s probably just miffed she’s not Snow White..

Spot on

Needmorelego · 08/03/2023 20:54

When I was at (a mixed) Primary our Joseph (as in the one with the technicolour dreamboat) was played by a girl - plus her twin was one of the other brothers.
Potipher (spelling?) was played by a girl too.
If she doesn't want to do it then I assume no one will force her but as it's an all girls school someone has to be the Prince if there is one in the story. If the choice is play the prince or don't be in the play would she suddenly change her mind. Is there another character she could swap with. Another girl might jump at the chance of being the prince.
Talk to her and talk to the school. That's all you can do really.

Luredbyapomegranate · 08/03/2023 20:54

Just tell her it’s acting and the point is to pretend to be someone you aren’t.

It’s not a good idea to encourage her to get worked up about stuff like this, it’s not going to be useful to her in life.

WarmWinterSun · 08/03/2023 21:03

I would take this opportunity to teach some resilience. She doesn’t want the role but sometimes in life you just have to do your best with the hand that is dealt.

Wavesandsand · 08/03/2023 21:05

I agree that this sounds like she's having a sulk that she's not the princess and is expecting mum to fix it. By 9 they well know which buttons to press so she won't have expressly said that. It sounds like she's got the second best part and surely the alternative is either playing a dwarf or not at all.

I'd say to her that it might be a shame that she wasn't the princess but only one person can be picked, she has a good role and she will be amazing. If she really doesn't want to do it I'd make sure she understands that she now goes right to the bottom and can't change any other casting. Teachers do sometimes make mistakes with casting and this might be a kid who really, really can't cope with this but I'd give her every encouragement to do so. I' d try to delve deeper into if there are any friendship worries, what's the relationship like with the girl playing snow white etc to see if there is anything else going on.

It's probably also worth speaking to the school for advice. A girls school will have delt with this issue before.

CurlsLDN · 08/03/2023 21:06

I got a lead boys part in a play at school, I was gutted! However i did it, and later went on to study drama at uni and act professionally for a while.

I would accept and sympathise with her upset but encourage her to do it, same as if she didn’t want to take a maths test or play a particular sport

Hobbes8 · 08/03/2023 21:12

If she was the princess she’d still have to kiss the girl playing the prince.

zurala · 08/03/2023 21:17

I remember at primary school being really upset I was given the part of palace cool instead of being a princess. But I did it anyway, discovered I have good comic timing, and bright the house down. I think your DD should give it a go first, before giving up.

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 08/03/2023 21:18

I kind of get it, but kind of not get it. It's a girl's school. There are only girls. So someone need to do the boy/man's part anyway. And the play is fictional. You get to play Queens when you are not a Queen. You get to play as an animal, or a which, or a robot whatever. So what's so different to be playing a boy?

Snugglemonkey · 08/03/2023 21:24

I was at an all girls school. Some people would not take male roles, which I thought was silly as it narrowed the possibilities of parts they could play. I took several small male roles, then I got Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof. Then Joseph. By then people were complaining that I got two big roles, but I had built up from small roles, proved myself reliable etc. I imagine it is easier to do that than be someone who has kicked off hoping for a big part, or someone who has only ever done chorus etc.

If she wants to progress in drama at school, she should take what she gets and do it well, demonstrate her acting ability and work ethic and it will be rewarded. Well that worked for me anyway. Though maybe she wouldn't see playing Joseph as a win 🤣

TangoBrava · 08/03/2023 21:30

Out of all the plays a school could do, wtf have they chosen one where the only decent female parts are an insipid weak impressionable princess and an evil stepmother, both stereotypical characters and utterly one dimensional.

It's especially relevant when it's an all girls school.

Why not pick a play with strong female characters? Even if some/up to half of the parts are boys, that would be better overall.

Doyoumind · 08/03/2023 21:32

Hobbes8 · 08/03/2023 21:12

If she was the princess she’d still have to kiss the girl playing the prince.

Yes!

It does sound like she wanted to be Snow White though. Don't be that parent.

unfortunateevents · 08/03/2023 22:04

Hmmm.... so presumably quite a lot of those 27 dwarves are also male? I bet some of them would love to be the prince so if she does manage to change roles she's going to be a dwarf instead – would you be happy with that? It is beginning to sound a bit as if she wanted to be the princess and is upset at not getting that role.

cestlavielife · 08/03/2023 22:11

From google

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Role Reversal: Principal Boys and Dames in Pantomime
News
9 November 2022

News Story
Pantomime is a real celebration of the clownish, crazy and outrageous. They’re all about having fun and taking being theatrical to absurd and fantastic levels. Pantomimes are not pantomimes without a bit of gender role reversal and this primarily happens in the roles of principal boy and of course, the pantomime dame.

Below we’re going to look at the history of both roles, as well as taking a closer look at some of the most famous dames to grace the boards.

The Tradition of the Principal Boy
Despite what the name suggests, the principal boy is not traditionally played by a male actor. The principal boy has been played by a young female actor since women were first permitted to perform on stage. The romantic hero at the heart of pantomime is almost always played by a young female performer, dressed in a short tunic. It isn’t as popular as it once was but when pantomime was at its height in the Edwardian and Victorian eras, no panto was complete without the principal boy.

The fashion for female performers to take on this male role became established in the 18th century. The roles were described as “Breeches Roles” or “Breeches Parts” and they didn’t just apply to pantomime. Peg Woffington, a renowned performer of this age, was particularly known for her male role performances and bringing the idea of a female lead to the world of opera, such as Cherubino in the Marriage of Figaro.

cestlavielife · 08/03/2023 22:12

She cN decline the role and do backstsge stuff
Would bd silly if she wNts to have a part

Maraudingmarauders · 08/03/2023 22:12

Mommymoments · 08/03/2023 20:41

No there's more... It's Snow White & the 27 Dwarves 😁

Show quote history

I got very upset on the day of our shoe when we did Snow White. I was the wicked witch and on the day couldn't bear to be mean to my friends. We ended up with an extra dwarf and a teacher to play the witch... (I was about 4, though).

I'd get her to think about it for a day or two if she has the luxury. Sometimes the disappointment of not getting the part you want can hit hard, and if she's not put 2+2 together that all the boy parts will be played by girls she might be feeling embarrassed that she was picked for it. I'd talk to her seriously about whether she wants a major part - enough to play a boy - or whether she'd rather have a lesser part instead. Then leave the choice in her hands.

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 08/03/2023 22:16

It's a girls school - who does she think should play the boys parts? Why does she think there's something wrong with a girl kissing a girl?

I'm not a teacher but imo if she doesn't want the part she's been given that's fine but she wouldn't get another part.

carriedout · 08/03/2023 22:18

housemaus · 08/03/2023 20:12

My mum told me I was being silly and that that's the point of acting - getting to be something you're not - when I was upset that I was a shepherd in the Y3 play.

I think that was the right response, personally.

Either you have to be the parent who goes in complaining your precious baby didn't get the part they want (don't be that parent) or your child misses out on doing the play and will almost definitely get FOMO at some point and be equally upset.

I think just explain to her it's acting, it'll be fun, everyone's playing a character they're not etc. Obviously you can't FORCE her to do it, but I wouldn't be going along with it as though she's been asked to perform war crimes. Its a school play, not everyone is going to get a part they want and that's a really valuable life lesson alongside the learning how to be a part of a big group project like a play.

Of course you think it was the right response, you internalised the fact your mother didn't listen to you and have retrospectively justified it.

Your mum did the wrong thing, she made you to do something you didn't want to do.

You shouldn't be encouraging other people to repeat your parent's mistakes.

ZeldaB · 08/03/2023 22:24

Tell the teacher how she feels.

At a minimum she shouldn’t have to pretend to kiss another girl when she’s clear that she doesn’t want to, it’s never ok to force that someone kiss or pretend to kiss and the teacher can easily edit that out of the script.

Viviennemary · 08/03/2023 22:25

That is simply ridiculous. If it's an all girls school then girls will have to play the part of any male characters. Surely she realises this. But the part should be given to somebody else if she doesnt't want to do it. I agree with just telling the school she doesn't want to play the part of the prince. Up to them if she gets a different part or not.

SarahAndQuack · 08/03/2023 22:26

I find the comment saying that she'd still 'have' to kiss a girl if she were the princess slightly homophobic. What, so that's assumed to be the most disgusting thing ever?

I agree with posters saying that she may well not get a part, or a big part, if she turns this down, and she needs to accept that. In a girls' school, she also needs to acknowledge that most people who wanted a part, would have been pleased to get the part she has.

But, I think you need to work out with her why she is so upset. If it's that she would have preferred a 'girly' role and feels her nose is out of joint, I'd have little sympathy. But if it's that she feels someone is saying she's masculine/tomboyish and that actually upsets her sense of self, then she does deserve some sympathy. At her age, it can feel quite upsetting if someone says 'oh, so-and-so looks like a man, she'll do it'.

Equally, if she's already being teased about something, she might feel sensitive. Children can be cruel. It could be someone has said she is a tomboy, or she's a lesbian, and those things have upset her. I remember shying away from acting at school, for precisely those reasons - I was worried someone in my girls' school would tease me.

Badbudgeter · 08/03/2023 22:31

I’d encourage her to just see it as acting but if she doesn’t want to do it I wouldn’t force her. One of my DDs is Fagin from Oliver Twist. She was not convinced but we watched the songs from the original and I encouraged her to have a bit of fun in the role.

Shes looking forward to it now but I wouldn’t of made her. Partially because she’s very contrary and would of refused on the night.

QuietlyConfident · 08/03/2023 22:39

ZeldaB · 08/03/2023 22:24

Tell the teacher how she feels.

At a minimum she shouldn’t have to pretend to kiss another girl when she’s clear that she doesn’t want to, it’s never ok to force that someone kiss or pretend to kiss and the teacher can easily edit that out of the script.

It'd be tricky to write the kiss out of Snow White.

FusionChefGeoff · 08/03/2023 22:41

I was always cast as boys - but I took it as a compliment that I'm they thought I was such a good actress

Dd doesn't want to play a boys part in school drama. What do I do?

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