What annoys you about someone that has no effect on you whatsoever but still irritates the hell out of you.

[gettingolderandgrumpier]

a colleague will not put her phone on silent ( in case of emergency) but will leave in her bag and every times it rings and it’s often a cold call she will leap in the air in panic to turn the phone off .
I’ve said leave it on vibrate , leave it on your desk so you can turn it off quicker but no . She never answers it and grumbles that it’s cold calls .
I’m not bothered about the phone ringing but this leaping up in panic and a mad scramble for her phone makes me want to hit her with her daft phone .
why not leave on your desk or stop panicking every time it rings I don’t get it .
i know it has no effect on my life but I’m worried she may have a panic induced heart attack ( I’m joking ) .
share with me lighthearted irritations that you have.

Yes!!

Also people who don't put the divider up for the next customer.

I love my online grocery shop

Nah everyone needs to go back to money, the government don't like it and many businesses still use cash. Otherwise it won't be long until we've all got chips in our eyes with our entire life stored on it. Bank account details included!

MIne are people that tell their kids off in that stupid, ineffectual 'don't do that' voice and the ones that tried to be friends with their kids rather than parent them. You can be friends when they are adults. People now who are driving without cleaning snow off their cars properly, people not indicating in cars or not understanding how to indicate off a roundabout (don't know when indicating to go round became indicating to exit but it seems to be that way now and others have almost gone into me when I'm indicating to go round cos they think I'm coming off the prior exit), people that drive too slow in one speed limit and then speed up into the next, slower one. Lots of these are driving ones that affect me.

People that have no general knowledge on any quiz show - that doesn't affect me but I don't know why they do it.

Grown women with little girly voices.

People whose throat makes a loud gluggy sound when they drink. It actually makes me want to stab them.

People who complain about the heat in summer. I have a weird superstition that they'll offend the sun and then it'll go away. I hide all "I hate this heat!!" threads you get on Mumsnet the moment it gets to 18 degrees or above. Just seeing the titles makes me angry.

Actually what are even worse are the people who starts those threads in the summer, and then come on the "I hate the cold/winter" threads to tell us we're wrong and winter is lovely and cosy and summer is awful. I don't go on on their threads to tell them actually summer's great and they should get outside and soak up some rays, so why can't they leave us to commiserate and complain in peace?

Neighbour who substitutes every (yes every) letter 't' for a glottal stop! It's unbearable to listen to and sounds like she's choking.

They're not as common these days but those Little Prince/ss on Board cards in the rear window of cars used to make me very angry, were they saying that without knowing that the fruit of their loins was in the car the driver behind would ram them?

In a cinema the other evening (watching The Whale - urgh, don't bother, it's such a depressing film) and it was pretty quiet, only a few people in there and a couple were yak yak yakking constantly through the adverts and some of the previews of up and coming films.

I was so enraged, I nearly turned to say something to them but stopped myself cos it was only the adverts they were yakking through. I was unreasonably incensed by this. Pathetic.

I say this as a non-particularly-feminine woman who can't wear heels...

Grown women who make a huge deal about "not liking girly stuff", "not being high maintenance", etc. The type who say "ugh, I don't UNDERSTAND how girly-girls wear heels, I like wearing my old crocs and getting biscuit crumbs down my pyjamas!".

It's disguised as feminism, but in reality it's SUCH a shallow virtue-signal, like they want a medal. And quite often it's (so ironically!!!) an act put on to appeal to men. "Pick me, I'm no effort, and I'm just like one of the boys!".

Ugh, I know it's not the crime of the century, but it gets to me!

@AtrociousArtichoke
I wonder if we know the same person re. 'Ya get me". I know a woman who does that. After I first noticed it I had to bite my tongue as I get an unbearable urge to laugh or smile when she says it.

Often an old(er) man sitting there while his wife does the shopping, he sits there as she is loading bags into the boot. A newspaper and a cigarette are the usual needs too it seems.

Someone talking to me on the phone while chewing a sweet!
Every word is encased in a slurp, chomp or clacking sound.

I love that!

People who talk for the sake of being seen to be engaged to seem important and useful at work. It they are just repeating what was already said it trying to confuse people and seem smarter.

Mum nights out that end up talking about giving birth and breast feeding every single time.

Small talk. I struggle with it massively. Just say hi have a good day and move on.

I wouldn't, I would quietly enjoy seeing him drink very weak coffee, especially if he thinks he's superior to those using instant coffee!

I hate other people at the cinema; talking, asking what is happening(watch and you will find out!) etc etc.

I have not been to a cinema since Covid; why would I when it was shit before- tiny toddlers at movies not suited to them, teens and adults chatting etc etc. I do not want your Director's Commentary random Dickhead, Shut up and watch with your eyes; not your voice.

Or their precious son isn't an adult at 25, as seen on MN!

I feel the same about pots not washed in a dishwasher.

Re: the "cozy winter" brigade. I'm with you there.

Why is it that, in the past ten years or so, we've developed a kind of weird class snobbery around seasons? It's as if some cosmic marketing team decided that summer was suddenly tacky, and the "hot chocolate and woolly scarves" aesthetic was inherently middle-class. Maybe it's a contrarian thing?

I sit on the aisle seat so that males who like intimidating women can't sit there.

my mum makes up nicknames or just says names wrong
Aaron (A ron) is always AAAAAAAiron
Nicola is Nicky (but isnt)
Sue is Susie but so is Suzanne ...
Also she never says like "Joan from dance" or "Erica from bookclub" so i have no idea wtf or who tf she is on about lol

People who walk slowly in busy areas, usually holding hands with someone else. Get out of my fucking way!

There is a tv advert with an old man going on about how he and his wife did absolutely everything together and were never apart, and now she’s dead, he’s so lonely. Like that situation wasn’t completely foreseeable and avoidable?

I am really quite horrid.

I'm just reminded of another one after reading the charity preaching. Facebook bore (now blocked but not for this) did a big build up, days off reminder posts and sponsorship, about how her daughter was going to have her hair cut off for charity.

I thought it was going to be super-long hair cut to Bob length, or shorter, to be donated gift wig use. No, the girl had hair barely mid back cut to just below shoulder.

People who chuck rubbish any old place. Im afraid you look actually too stupid to identify a bin and I fully believe you don't wash your hands after the toilet. Same people

Hahaha. And when they chew for ages, but want to say something and they do this weird gesture with hand like it's supposed to speed things up.

People who use Facebook to wish ‘happy heavenly birthday’ to some deceased relative.

People who put their hand in front of their mouth when eating, so you can't see them chew.

Yes! It’s only women that do this. So affected. See also women that do that flapping their hands up and down by their eyes to avoid crying.