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Original poster

Does anyone else mental health issues are thrown around too much?

121 replies

Justwingingit2005 · 07/03/2023 22:41

A friend of mine offered to book a table for a get together. It's this Friday and had assured us it was booked in the group chat. Tonight its come to light she didn't book it and when questioned why did she lie as someone would have booked it said 'my mental health is suffering'. I know appearances are often put on, but we've known her 20 years. When she forgets its always mental health.
Also people commenting on cleaning saying they are 'a bit ocd'.
I feel these are downgrading just how hard mental health is. Ocd can be crippling, and these terms shouldn't be thrown around.

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 08/03/2023 01:10

Somebodiesmother · 08/03/2023 01:03

Do we have to have a rerun of this thread every three days? As a person with serious mental health issues it sure puts me in my place.

But you DO have a serious mental health problem, so do I. It really gets my goat that people throw around terms like depression or worse PTSD when they mean I felt a bit down. It’s not the same at all and it makes some people think those with serious problems should be able to get over it like the people who don’t actually have those conditions

bugsinmybrain · 08/03/2023 01:55

I can't stand when people act badly and then blame their mental illness

Take responsibility- if you've been abusive to someone and got called out, your mental illness is not a get out of jail free card

Saying "I'm sorry, I suffer with X and sometimes I'm not very good at controlling my emotions but I'm truly sorry for my behaviour and acknowledge it was awful" is SO different to saying "I can't help it, I have X, that's why I reacted to you like that" and expecting people to suck it up and make allowances for you despite no acknowledgment of how you affected them.

I'm compassionate towards mental illness, I have diagnoses myself - and it irritates me no end when people are called on behaviour because it's abusive and try to manipulate themselves into being seen as the victim despite their actions being downright abusive

I've had this recently with someone who has pissed me off totally because I have the exact same thing but they don't know that, they were called out on bad behaviour in a group setting and the apology isn't an apology it's a "deal with it and feel sorry for me because I'm excused by this label"

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 08/03/2023 06:55

Yes I have anxiety and had it all my life, proper diagnosis etc. if I mention it to anyone they said oh yes I get really bad anxiety too

shapelydoes · 08/03/2023 07:14

I think there's a fine line between openly discussing and supporting those with genuine Mh issues, and openly talking about it to an extent it's now a bandwagon lots of people are jumping on

Everything seems so over the top nowadays. I was watching a video yesterday that popped up, explaining why telling a job things like 'that's brilliant! Well done' and 'That picture is amazing! You're so talented' is bad! Apparently you're fucking your kids up with language like that Confused and need to use stuff like 'you worked really hard. You must be so proud' and 'I like how you use the paint there. How do you feel about it?'

Ilovechees3 · 08/03/2023 07:15

I have had depression on and off all my life, I take my medication and carry on, sometimes it is very difficult. I have got stronger over the years and have what I call sad days.
I noticed during the pandemic so many more decided they had mental health issues which the media kept reinforcing, especially children. We should be acknowledging we all have sad difficult days but life carries on and using “mental health “ as a reason for a lot of people denigrates people really suffering.
Treatment for mental health issues has improved so much over the decades, there is so much more support.
Keep your chins up and keep living the best life you can.

PictureConsequences · 08/03/2023 07:24

Yes. A very wise and experienced GP said to me a few years ago that nobody is worried any more, they're anxious, nobody is sad, they're depressed.

RampantIvy · 08/03/2023 07:24

I agree. As the parent of a DD who is now on medication for anxiety I hate that people casually use various mental issues as a get out of jail free card.

DD is so much better on medication. There used to be days when getting her to leave the house was a monumental task.

sorrynotathome · 08/03/2023 07:29

Emptycrackedcup · 08/03/2023 00:44

I lost someone a few years ago to mental health, so think it's great people can be more open about these things. Even myself, as a new mum its good to be able to be open when you're struggling. I also think that some people do overuse it. Overall I think it's better that people speak about it more I think

You didn’t lose them to mental health, you lost them to mental ILLNESS. Ffs why can’t anyone say mental illness?! Why does it always have to be mental health/mental health issues? No wonder there’s such a stigma when we can’t even bring ourselves to say mental illness/mentally ill/mentally unwell.

sorrynotathome · 08/03/2023 07:32

PictureConsequences · 08/03/2023 07:24

Yes. A very wise and experienced GP said to me a few years ago that nobody is worried any more, they're anxious, nobody is sad, they're depressed.

Er, not you, obviously @bugsinmybrain 😳

taxguru · 08/03/2023 07:33

SunshineGeorgie · 07/03/2023 22:54

It's only going to get worse as it's fashionable to indulge it these days

In the workplace, who is picking up the slack for it though?

Why do you think customer service is so bad? Far too many staff being treated with kid gloves, not doing their job properly, can't be criticised/reprimanded, etc., so the customer suffers!

sorrynotathome · 08/03/2023 07:39

sorrynotathome · 08/03/2023 07:32

Er, not you, obviously @bugsinmybrain 😳

Show quote history

Sorry that quote was a mistake!

shapelydoes · 08/03/2023 07:50

Treatment for mental health issues has improved so much over the decades, there is so much more support

Tell that to the many mums of suicidal teenagers with CAMHS lists her a year long!

LakeTiticaca · 08/03/2023 08:23

I agree. anxiety seems very common in the work place nowadays, particularly among the younger generation (18-25ish)
It doesn't, however, seem to impact on their social life as their social media pages tell us every weekend.
I'm glad I'm no longer in the workplace and having to deal with these people, those have self diagnosed and use this as an excuse for poor behaviour

zorgoid · 08/03/2023 08:28

sorrynotathome · 08/03/2023 07:29

You didn’t lose them to mental health, you lost them to mental ILLNESS. Ffs why can’t anyone say mental illness?! Why does it always have to be mental health/mental health issues? No wonder there’s such a stigma when we can’t even bring ourselves to say mental illness/mentally ill/mentally unwell.

Show quote history

Yeah does my head in. Everyone has mental health. It's like saying physical health.

bamboonights · 08/03/2023 08:45

ComtesseDeSpair · 08/03/2023 00:10

There’s a lot of money to be made from the medicalisation of ordinary emotions. Self help books, life coaches, counselling, therapy, meditation, wellbeing courses. It’s to the benefit of the people who trade in all of this to encourage more people to believe that their poor behaviours or the way they’re feeling must be because of childhood attachment problems, or hidden trauma, or emotional damage or mental illness that they need to spend years in expensive therapy or coaching for; rather than just ordinary anxiety or sadness (or laziness) that we all experience from time to time. Thus I don’t totally blame the people who’ve been taken in by it. It’s easier to convince yourself that you’re unwell or damaged than to take responsibility for yourself sometimes, especially when there are so many people motivated to help you believe it.

Agree with you totally here. Social media is also a huge platform where everyone 'advertises' their wares for free. Every 'influencer' is just a glorified advertisement for something.

drpet49 · 08/03/2023 08:46

Nimbostratus100 · 07/03/2023 22:42

yep, it is used as a get out clause for anything and everything

This

Moonicorn · 08/03/2023 08:48

YANBU, and ive been a psychiatric inpatient.

Sick to death of hearing about self diagnosed ‘anxiety’. Used as an excuse for anything and everything.

I cannot remember the last time anyone just owned a mistake or their poor behaviour without using ‘mental health’ as an excuse.

mybunniesandme · 08/03/2023 08:50

Moonicorn · 08/03/2023 08:48

YANBU, and ive been a psychiatric inpatient.

Sick to death of hearing about self diagnosed ‘anxiety’. Used as an excuse for anything and everything.

I cannot remember the last time anyone just owned a mistake or their poor behaviour without using ‘mental health’ as an excuse.

This

It's just so predictable - even on MN so many posts with self diagnosed "anxiety" no wonder older generations consider the younger ones so flaky

fairypeasant · 08/03/2023 09:06

It's funny how the stigma has gone completely from mental health. You know, normal healthy reactions and emotions. Where there wasn't really any stigma to start with.

But there remains massive sigma towards schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, severe catatonic depression that needs ECT, etc. The "mental illness doesn't exist, it's 'just' trauma" brigade don't help this.

Mental illness exists. It's illness. Sometimes, like physical illness, the cause doesn't matter- when it's severe, it needs acute treatment first, then the cause etc identifying and treating later. You can't treat a heart attack by saying "it's all cholesterol" and you can't treat psychosis by saying "it's all trauma".

"Mental health" is just like saying "heart health". Yeah, we should all look after it. But when you have heart disease, a healthy diet won't cut it, and your friend's palpitations isn't the same as your deadly arrhythmia.

I think all this talk of "mental health" just further stigmatises mental illness.

Immychops · 08/03/2023 09:06

It's used as an cop-out nowadays, and encourages a sense of entitlement.

People seem to have this presumption that if you're not feeling happy/calm all the time, you're suffering with mental health issues.

You're not, that's just life. We all feel stressed and anxious sometimes, it's how we deal with it that counts.
People don't know how to deal with it, so they just cop out of everything instead.

Genuine mental health issues are far worse than this. The lines are blurred.

WeWereInParis · 08/03/2023 09:07

shattered25 · 08/03/2023 00:28

I get embarrassed with my mental health now as I assume that it will be taken as a get out clause due to people using it all the time 😭 which means no one knows until I have a meltdown and I just feel so embarrassed and it makes it worse. If I ever mention OCD people will roll their eyes, even though my hands are scabs and in my teens it led me to be suicidal do to the rigid rituals constantly keeping me up for days... deffo not just being tidy!

I feel like this as well. I have (diagnosed) anxiety, suffer from panic attacks and have had agoraphobia so severely I didn't leave my house for long periods a few years ago because even going to the end of the drive led to panic attacks.
But I do feel like when "anxiety" is mentioned some people do think "oh another one who needs to just get a grip!"

HallucinationQ · 08/03/2023 09:09

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

WeWereInParis · 08/03/2023 09:10

Treatment for mental health issues has improved so much over the decades, there is so much more support

Ha ha ha.

HallucinationQ · 08/03/2023 09:13

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Moonicorn · 08/03/2023 09:16

@fairypeasant i agree. I was an inpatient with OCD. It was hideous and I don’t really talk about it now. I certainly haven’t started any Instagram accounts or done any #itsokaynottobeokay posts. Nobody needs to hear my depressing shite bar my inner circle and even then I’m mindful of ‘dumping’ on them. Don’t get me wrong, if I talked about it more I’m sure people would be sympathetic, but to be honest it’s negative and boring and I want to
move on from it now. I’ve worked very hard at getting better, and fortunately have been fine ever since going home several years ago. I think my attitude of distracting myself, looking forwards and not harping on about it all the time has helped in my recovery.

It depresses me to open Insta for almost every single post to be about mental health with the usual opening ‘It’s okay to be anxious/depressed about…’ it’s utterly draining. They’re not ‘breaking a stigma’ or doing anything new, they’re just attention seeking in part and dumping on people who were probably in a good mood until they saw it. I feel like I can’t watch or read anything without mentions of mental health and reminders of what happened to me a few years ago. I just want to move on from it now 🤷🏼‍♀️

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