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Original poster

Laughed at at the gym

44 replies

Sobloodysoreandfedup · 07/03/2023 22:27

Started the gym a year ago. Had never really been to a gym properly before. I do the classes only. I was shit at the start, and still get things wrong now (always get confused about how many reps etc) but am way stronger than I was. I honestly wonder sometimes whether I have brain cells in there because everyone else seems to glide through the workouts.

The issue is, it's quite a small gym and everyone is very familiar. There is one trainer who just laughs and jokes the whole time which is pretty annoying. I can laugh at myself when mistakes happen. But now, maybe because of that, it seems like I am fair game for jokes about being crap basically. It's either, comparing how shit I was at the start to what I can do now, which feels like a back handed compliment, or stuff like yesterday a joke when a new person started about how they should watch me to know what to do, with laughter and a sarcastic comment from the trainer shouted over. It's all male trainers.

Am I being too sensitive? I am wondering whether I should switch to somewhere where it's a bit more anonymous? Or are all gyms like this? Will I ever get good at stuff?! My confidence has really taken a knock. I feel like I have opened myself up to it by joining in laughing and joking though.

OP posts:
NomadicSpirit · 07/03/2023 22:31

It does sound like the instructor thinks you're finding it funny and they're doing it for your benefit as much as anyone else's. I'm sure if you had a chat after class and said "look, I know we've joked about me, but I'm starting to get a bit self conscious, could it stop", that he would do in a heartbeat. He'd be stood not to, as a complaint after that could lose him his job.

Menopants · 07/03/2023 22:32

Find another gym this is not normal. And give them feedback when you leave. Nasty inadequate bullies.

PrincessofWellies · 07/03/2023 22:33

Change gyms. It sounds like a misogynistic atmosphere.

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NCSQ · 07/03/2023 22:36

I agree that I think it is misjudged. The class instructors have to be a bit performative and it sounds like your joking around has given the sense that you are ok with it. I think you should just show them you don't. It doesn't have to be a big deal - just lob back a few sharp comments the next time it happens and they will get the idea. Or as a pp says, tell them directly that you don't like it.

Congratulations on your progress, by the way. I am a regular gym goer and always impressed by new starters who stick with it. Everyone just wants to show up and enjoy.

HaveTheDayOff · 07/03/2023 22:39

I’d change gyms. This doesn't sound normal. Which gym is it if you don’t mind saying?

ImustLearn2Cook · 07/03/2023 22:52

Just tell them that the joke is wearing a little thin now and see if they respect that. If they don’t then go to another gym.

Original poster
Sobloodysoreandfedup · 07/03/2023 23:42

Thanks all. In all honesty at the moment I am thinking of sacking if off. I am not sure I will ever be cut out for it.

OP posts:
IcedBananas · 07/03/2023 23:50

Do not quit OP! You’re making progress! Either move gyms or somehow let the instructor know you’re not up for tje jokes anymore. How do you react when he makes these comments? Do you laugh along? Or do you indicate you’re not into the joke? I think a few negative responses may be enough here

Enthrallingstory · 07/03/2023 23:54

Don't quit! I'd definitely join another gym, a bigger one where they are more professional shall we say.

Peridot1 · 07/03/2023 23:57

Some people just aren’t cut out for classes. I find I’m so busy trying to keep up and go in the right direction etc that I’m not concentrating on the proper form for what I should be doing. Especially a fast moving class. I found Body Balance ok with one instructor as he was really encouraging and helpful but then he was replaced and the replacement was rubbish.

I also went to circuit classes run by a friend who was a PT and she used to use me as the example of the really unfit person. So “you can do it like this or like this or you can do it like Peridot”. Really annoying.

I am about to join a gym again and am planning just the weights machines. At least initially.

Iloveenidblyton · 07/03/2023 23:59

Don’t give up. Try a different gym. This is bullying.

Palmfrond · 08/03/2023 00:13

Absolutely do not give up.
I’ve been going to the gym for a year because I was a fatty.
Im still a fatty, but a strong fatty whose knees and shoulders are no longer sore.
Please do not give up.
Trainers at gyms are a weird bunch. Either tell them to fuck off, not in a jokey way, or find a different gym. There’s gyms everywhere these days.

snitzelvoncrumb · 08/03/2023 00:30

Don’t give up. Just try another gym. Assuming you are a women, is there a female only gym you could try? I found it a much more relaxed atmosphere.

FebName · 08/03/2023 00:41

Absolutely do not give up! I'd have a world with the instructor in sure they'd be mortified if they thought you were thinking of leaving because of them.

I suspect they think it's all fun. But it's not to you. Tel him.

But do not give up!!!

You're doing amazing and old you will thank you for it!!

JimmyHalpert · 08/03/2023 00:47

Don’t quit! Find a gym with some female trainers running the classes. Gym men can be the worst…

evemillbank · 08/03/2023 00:48

That's a crap trainer. I'd either complain or move or both.

Fraaahnces · 08/03/2023 00:50

Firstly, don’t sack it off if you find it is helping you physically. You might find it empowering to say something to the prick who is saying this shit too. Let them know you’ve had enough and you’re considering swapping gyms as a result. Be prepared for “It’s only a joke” or “Can’t you take a joke” and let them know that like everyone else, you are paying for a service and you are not a desperate little lady in a bar whose self-esteem is so low that you are unable to recognize or tolerate negging when you hear it. It’s unprofessional and misogynistic.

Fraaahnces · 08/03/2023 00:50

Take it to their manager, btw.

Original poster
Sobloodysoreandfedup · 08/03/2023 01:42

Thanks all. This is why I love MN. I am going to shop around. A female only gym would be my idea of heaven.

OP posts:
StaceyMeloni · 08/03/2023 08:06

This sounds weird and not normal. Agree change gym OP, but keep going.

Palmfrond · 08/03/2023 09:13

@Sobloodysoreandfedup The gym I go to has a women only section.

doadeer · 08/03/2023 09:19

That's vile! Don't quit altogether you've done so well but go somewhere else. All instructors I know are about building confidence and celebrating you not mocking you.

TooManyPax · 08/03/2023 09:23

Don't quit. If you can't say it face to face, email the gym and tell them it is making you uncomfortable. Even if you leave that gym let them know that the instructor is being an arse. Stay with it though. Of course you are cut out for it, you are doing it, keep doing it.

Dh had a spin class where the instructor walked round and turned up the dial on Dh's machine, Dh immediately turned it back down. After class he told the instructor that he would be the judge of what his body considered challenging and yes his hairy legs did hide the keyhole surgery scars from his knee op. The instructor was mortified and changed his behaviour after that.

Theeaglesoared · 08/03/2023 09:27

Definitely change gym. And well done for getting fit! Don't let a couple of misogynistic trainers put you off. I would tell the manager why you're leaving as well.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 08/03/2023 09:34

I'd just ask to speak to her and say it's hurting your confidence. She'll stop.