Laughed at at the gym

[Sobloodysoreandfedup]

Started the gym a year ago. Had never really been to a gym properly before. I do the classes only. I was shit at the start, and still get things wrong now (always get confused about how many reps etc) but am way stronger than I was. I honestly wonder sometimes whether I have brain cells in there because everyone else seems to glide through the workouts.

The issue is, it's quite a small gym and everyone is very familiar. There is one trainer who just laughs and jokes the whole time which is pretty annoying. I can laugh at myself when mistakes happen. But now, maybe because of that, it seems like I am fair game for jokes about being crap basically. It's either, comparing how shit I was at the start to what I can do now, which feels like a back handed compliment, or stuff like yesterday a joke when a new person started about how they should watch me to know what to do, with laughter and a sarcastic comment from the trainer shouted over. It's all male trainers.

Am I being too sensitive? I am wondering whether I should switch to somewhere where it's a bit more anonymous? Or are all gyms like this? Will I ever get good at stuff?! My confidence has really taken a knock. I feel like I have opened myself up to it by joining in laughing and joking though.

I would bet you're much better than you think you are, OP.

You have the confidence to be outside your comfort zone, so you'll continue to get better and better. What is it you think you're particularly concerned about when you say you're crap?

You don't need to be 'cut out for it'. The gym is for everyone and many of us are uncoordinated! I certainly am.

I do aqua aerobics with a big group of diverse women (different ages, races, sizes) and most weeks a few of us get lost on reps or even float away in the pool 😂 we mostly just support each other (thanks Deidre for always showing me how to do h tbh e complicated bits).

Maybe try other classes. But don't give up.

Get yourself a personal trainer for one to one sessions. He/she won't laugh at you and will assess the best exercise for you. Probably more expensive than the gym but well worth it

@Sobloodysoreandfedup

DO NOT Chuck it in. You've done really well to get stronger! You take that ability to get stronger for granted, but as you get older it gets more & more difficult.

some women remain/gat very fit & string when they're older but not many.

get fit/strong, stay fit/strong.

you'll appreciate it when you get older.

either 'have a quiet word that it stops now!' Or have a retort ready 'have a day off for Christ sake!' 'It 'might have been funny 6 months ago, now it's getting old, give it a rest won't you' type thing.

'female only' may not include instructors.

don't run away from it, use it as an opportunity to stand up for yourself!!

Please don't sack it off. I did this 8 months ago and I'm so missing it and too scared to return.
You'll really regret not going, find another gym and hold your head proud, you're doing far better than you think I'm sure and anyway you're being active and keeping healthy, who gives a crap what the men folk think of you - do your own thing and own it!

Echoing others - DO NOT QUIT!! You have done brilliantly and normal high street gyms are absolutely for everyone!

I'd complain - this trainer is totally out of line. I've trained at three gyms and he'd have been shown the door at all of them. As would clients making comments like that. I've also done umpteen classes, mostly with male trainers and often lots of men in the classes, and the atmosphere has always been positive and encouraging. So if the gym can't sort him, I'd try a different gym, a women-only one if you prefer - but don't give up, please! You have done the hard bit - find a friendly, well-run gym and keep going!

If you like this particular gym I would be reluctant to give it up because of one clueless eejit. I would on the other hand, take him aside and ask him to drop his smart ass comments - that you thought he was there to up your confidence / make you feel good about yourself and not knock it out of you. What a gobshite.

I work at a sports centre as a sports coach, but we also have a massive gym - our manager would not be happy if he was made aware that an instructor was doing this @Sobloodysoreandfedup I would go so far as to say that if it was reported and the instructor didn't pack it in, he would be let go

I think this is good advice from @NomadicSpirit I'm sure a quiet word to the instructor would resolve this

OP, don't give up the gym. It'll be hard to get back into the habit

Bodypump and RPM are two classes where people exercise at their own level and aren't really be aware of what other people are doing, so you might like to try those if you feel self conscious

That is awful! Really disrespectful of the trainer.
Complain and leave.
But find somewhere nicer that builds you up.

You're not, not cut out for it, people use a gym for lots of different reasons. Tbh I'd tell the trainer to fuck off with his stupid jokes, they aren't funny anymore.

Don't give up when you're seeing results.

Tell the trainer to stop joking about you. If they refuse complain to the manager.

I have a trainer like this, but she's got the experience and awareness to only joke to those she knows well and knows are ok with it. Even then her jokes aren't in anyway OTT. I'm sure if one of us regulars asked her to stop she would without question.

It's probably the classes, not you. I'm not terribly coordinated and struggled through classes before giving them up entirely. I now attend a small women's only gym that specialises in weight training. They also offer classes, all small enough where the trainer is able to spot anyone having issues and spend time with the individual so they can master the move.

If you decide to leave, be sure to tell the gym why.

I would also say this sounds misguided and if you've laughed about it yourself they don't get that it's bothering you. It sounds like an error of judgement on their part rather than being purposefully nasty, but that still doesn't make it ok. If you feel able to, I'd have a word with the instructor that you're not finding it funny and want the comments to stop. Or just move gym but do not give up!

Yes he does that to me too. Turns up the dial thing.

thanks everyone - won’t quit. You’re all right and I am enjoying it. But I am going to look at other options with female instructors.

My take on this is cause you laughed nervously along at first when you were
made a mistake doing gym routines,

Gym teacher ect have taken this as you are up for a laugh , banter , you are OK about this,
a case of misunderstanding,

the issue is they Gym teacher has ramped it, up, as they are bit too thick to realise, that this is different now. !

Or
You have unfortunately joined a gym 🏋️‍♂️ full of misogynistic Fuck wits,

I think you either need to let them know it's just not funny anymore in no uncertain terms

Or

Just leave a review or email message to tell them you are moving on to another more professional competitor gym, than theirs cause of these ubove reasons,

Look into a women's only gym classes sessions or just another gym

I think you are doing real good by the way,

Also i think it takes a bit of courage to get outside your comfort zone to walk through a front door of a place like that, on your own...

Look at him in the eye and say “That’s enough now.”

Then walk away.
Let him know you are serious. I’ve had this to an extent and had to show people I am serious and need respect.
Take no shit.
I’ve had people who know how much exercise I do, how hard I work and how I carry a large family and a lot of responsibility then are surprised that I’m not weak. What about any of the above suggests weakness???

Don't give up and well done for sticking with this for a year!

I would look for a new gym and leave them feedback about the trainer so they are aware.

Definitely don’t give up. Change gyms if possible, or talk to the trainer after the session and say - I laughed it off at the beginning because I was embarrassed and now I’m embarrassed when you laugh at me, so please stop.