Do you eat what you want?

[shrubgreen]

Just wondering how many of you eat what you want, when you want on a regular basis - or if you tend to view food in terms of what you can/can't, should/shouldn't indulge in?

Was just wondering as I know so many people who have been on some sort of diet for most of their lives and wondering if anyone is really immune from this? Or do some people really not think twice about what they eat - I mean in terms of "guilt" and feeling like there's a right or wrong way to eat.

I think that's what PPs are saying, but in my opinion that's incorrect.

I have a diet that most would consider extremely healthy. Loads of veg from the allotment, massive salads, avocados, home made sourdough bread, pulses, seeds, kimchi, etc etc, no biscuits/ crisps, strictly limited chocolate etc....

But I struggle to maintain a healthy weight. Because I have a massive appetite, therefore I have massive portions of all this healthy food. Which still contains calories . Following the 3 slices of homemade sourdough with avocado, kimchi and a side salad with a generous helping of muesli, soya yogurt and berries IS going to pack the weight on, I can assure you!

I think most of this comes down to appetite. I'm convinced that, yes, ingrained food habits may come into it, but a lot of body shape being hereditary stems from inherited appetite. Whether it's a predisposition to produce more or less leptin or other appetite- regulating hormones, or something to do with your gut biome, who knows? It seems to be a very new field of science.

But I'll bet my bottom dollar that those who claim it's all down to eating healthily are strangers to the sensation of being constantly starving.

Oh wow, I didn't expect this to take off the way it did. Thank you for all your responses. I was asking as I'm curious about how we connect food and freedom and was wondering how common it is for women to truly eat whatever they want, free of guilt, given that we are so often bombarded with messaging that we should feel guilt or deprivation.

As for myself (given that so many of you have shared!) - I've had seasons of both, and of course am much happier when I eat freely than counting and logging everything. But the happy medium for me is (boringly) some sort of balance - so not deprivation (never having cake) but seeing it as a real pleasure to be enjoyed occasionally without any guilt or penance. In a way, when I eat it all the time, it loses some of the appeal bizarrely. But it took a long time to arrive at this.

I always try to eat healthily, but it's so difficult sometimes 😂😜

I don’t think it’s an accusation, more an observation. If you ate what you wanted and you wanted all high fat, high sugar, high calorie foods, you’d probably put on weight. It’s as simple as that.

The fact is that someone’s weight is probably the least interesting thing about them.

If you ate what you wanted and you wanted all high fat, high sugar, high calorie foods, you’d probably put on weight

Yes, but do many people actually want such food?

I eat what I want, I find when I have dieted, or tried to be strict around 'healthy' and 'unhealthy' food, I end up spiralling and binging.

I nearly always choose a typically 'healthy' option because fruit and veg is lush, but if I want to eat 10 biscuits or eat a dessert I do and don't stop myself. I get bored and want something leafy green in my life eventually and it all balances out.

I'm not super slim but I'm not overweight, just healthy.

you said ‘life is too short to be unhappy’.

@WaddleAway No I didn't. You must be thinking of someone else.

I also never implied "people use trauma as an excuse" though I did say that some people assume others have not experienced trauma.

Would you please stop putting words in my mouth?

I’m sure some do. Lots of those foods are designed to be addictive, after all.

You’re right it wasn’t you who said that, apologies for that. I stand by the fact that you implied people use trauma as an excuse to over eat though, unless you can explain what else you meant when you said some people assume others haven’t experienced trauma, in the context of some people overeating and others not doing so?

I think one of the problems we're facing here is the conflation of "healthy" with "low calorie". I mean...which has less calories- a Diet Coke or a bag of nuts? But which is better for your health?

One of my favourite dinners is deep fried home made broad bean falafels in a homemade sourdough flatbread with lashings of tahini and fried aubergine, accompanied by a rainbow slaw with plenty of mayonnaise. Healthy? Undoubtedly. Fattening? Very probably 😬

Yes this is true. The food I ate was always ‘healthy’, it just had far more calories than I was burning at the time!

I feel a balanced diet is best if weight gain can become an issue.

I came from a family of "Large ladies" but was adamant this wasn't for me so have pretty much dieted all my life

However, 16:8 has proved a lifesaver for me. I have now followed this method of eating for nearly 4 years and exercise religiously twice per day for 10 minutes each time.

I am now 67, size 10 and very happy with my eating. I do tend to have more at the weekends and only drink alcohol Fri/Sat and Sunday evenings but this works great for me so no longer feel like I am dieting all the time.👍

I really don’t know anyone who thinks like this. People eat, they eat what they enjoy, they stop when they’ve had enough. They eat chocolate and cake and biscuits. They don’t count calories or do low carb. They don’t think about food particularly except to enjoy it. All are slim, or at the most slightly plump.

Yes, but do many people actually want such food?

@Reddahlias most of us do and that's a joy but it's a problem when you are unable to control your urges. Then you're looking at not being able to have food in the cupboard like chocolate, crisps, peanut butter, jam, ice cream etc because some people cannot take a bit and leave the rest for someone else. I've known people who have eaten half a pound of cheese or ham and a loaf of bread at a sitting and grin: "You know what I'm like." That's not as endearing as they think when you'd like some or it's for the kids' lunchbox and it's gone.

I like a glass of wine but I understand not having alcohol in the house if you live with a recovering alcoholic. Similarly cigarettes and scratchcards if smoking or gambling is your addiction.

But you can't not have food in the house and that includes treats that people cannot resist and yet blame everyone else for.

I stand by the fact that you implied people use trauma as an excuse to over eat though, unless you can explain what else you meant when you said some people assume others haven’t experienced trauma, in the context of some people overeating and others not doing so?

@WaddleAway thank you for admitting that you accuse people of saying things that aren't true and are in your head.

The word "excuse" is also in your head. That's not my fault but is your issue to deal with.

Some people do assume others have not experienced trauma. The context was not about overeating. That is also in your head.

Then you're looking at not being able to have food in the cupboard like chocolate, crisps, peanut butter, jam, ice cream etc because some people cannot take a bit and leave the rest for someone else.

Well no household needs to have crisps, cheap chocolate or (high sugar) jam in their cupboard my opinion.

I didn’t accuse people of saying things that aren’t true 😂, I made a mistake with user names.
The thread is about eating, that’s why I assumed your trauma comment was about eating. My bad.

Well no household needs to have crisps, cheap chocolate or (high sugar) jam in their cupboard my opinion.

@Reddahlias there are lots of things we don't need but it's not unreasonable to want. Currently I am wearing lots of layers because my boiler has broken down. We will survive until Friday when the man from British Gas gets here but I do not feel it is sybaritic to be able to have the radiators on or wash without boiling the kettle. I feel the same way about a Hobnob and am confident most people agree. Everything is moderation is my motto. But if denying yourself simple pleasures makes you happy, who am I to disagree?

@WaddleAway you did accuse me but that doesn't matter. I find it better to deal with my own stuff rather than explaining it to everyone else.

I eat what I want, when I want.
A bit of what you fancy does you good, so everything in moderation.
Example, a normal sized piece of cake instead of half of it.
Equally, if I fancy a bacon buttie at 03.00, then I'll have one at 03.00.

But if denying yourself simple pleasures makes you happy, who am I to disagree?

I just don't get pleasure from eating crisps or cheap chocolate - I do love dark chocolate a lot but feel satiated after a couple of pieces. I also love fruit but don't enjoy the over sweetened jams from the supermarket.

But I agree - food should be pleasurable!

Yes.

Plus if I want chilli prawns, smoked salmon and avocado, a curry, I just buy it, eat it.

I just don't get pleasure from eating crisps or cheap chocolate - I do love dark chocolate a lot but feel satiated after a couple of pieces.

@Reddahlias I've heard many people say the same.

I'm partial to a bag of Walker's cheese and onion or a bar of Cadbury's Wholenut myself. Not all of us have sophisticated tastes and hope it's not too pretentious to quote Noel Coward who said: "Extraordinary how potent cheap music is."

Oh yes, I want these foods much of the time.