Who do you rely on for support or as a sounding board?

[Icelolly999]

Just that really….

If you have something worrying you or are feeling low or stressed, have you got anyone who will support or help you or chat it through?

Or Is it better to suck it up and not mention it to friends, your partner etc because it can get a bit tedious and people have their own worries?

The boards here used to be really supportive but I feel there is less support and tolerance now and more disdain which is sad.

I tell everyone everything.

Dh.
My mum
5 friends.
1 colleague
I write an occasional online diary.

So I have lots of support.

My husband is my go to person. He gives great advice even when it's not the answer I want to hear.

DH. Always calm, always full of good advice and wisdom.

A close friend who will come up with a different view on the situation which is often helpful.

I would tell my DH. However he is useless sometimes so I have to almost explain what support I want. That can be frustrating.

I don’t really have friends I vent to except about really small stuff.

my parents are useless….absolutely useless and actually make situations harder for me. So generally I deal with things alone - probably because that’s what was learnt growing up.

ive always felt I would love a very close female friend or sister type relationship. I just don’t have that.

Husband.
Handful of close friends locally.
Handful of friends under an hour away we visit on a semi regular basis.
More than a handful of long close friends via phone or WhatsApp groups.
Happy to use message boards.

Two friends for routine stuff .Big stuff ,rely on myself.

No one for the big stuff.
DDad for anything else important.

Literally no one.
Mum is hopeless and either it's my fault or she umms and ahhs as she used to be a samaritan and just listens.

My father.

DD and two friends. Sometimes DS if it’s not menopause related etc.

Used to be my dad but he died a few past. I do have good friends who I can turn to. DH is useless at this kind of to thing. I wish he was better because it's very lonely and hardwork at times.

My DH is my main source of support, especially when it comes to my elderly parents.
I have a couple of close friends I can call on too.
Anything medical (but not personal) I'd call up my MIL.

“ive always felt I would love a very close female friend or sister type relationship. I just don’t have that”

Yes same @Zippidydoda

Dh is ok to a point but not good if he can’t fix it and gets frustrated.

Dm was good but has opted out as she’s got older and we talk about mundane thIngs which makes me a bit sad tbh. No other family.

I have a close friend who I have provided a lot of ongoing emotional support to through lockdown with her menopause symptoms but she is not as good at listening to me!

My other friendships are nice but I tend to not really go into detail about worries or stresses. I feel better when I’ve seen them though.

I think sometimes you just want someone to help you put things in perspective and that it what I am lacking so things build up a bit.

No one.

Dh is crap. He just doesn’t understand anything. I’ve have been and am going through some pretty awful medical things and he doesn’t get any of it. He can’t seem to understand a thing, even if I write things down. He cherry picks and gets confused even when he’s sat in on calls with my consultant. He’ll hear “in the best case, this could happen” and then that’s it, crisis over, what the fuck am I moaning about - it’s the best case that’s happening, even when it’s not and it’s actually quite bleak. It’s infuriating and sometimes insulting when I am going though painful and invasive tests and so much worry. So I don’t bother.

Other than him, I have no family, only a dad with dementia who I could never turn to anyway.

I am very good at making superficial friends but I can never seem to get into a deeper friendship where you can talk about important things.

I don’t even have superficial friends now since we moved and I am caught up with health issues.

It’s made my anxiety a million times worse and I feel like I am drowning.

Dp would be my go to person but I have my friends and sometimes I trust my mum.

No one.
I’m the person who people tell their problems to, nobody listens to mine.

My sister. I can talk to her about anything and it's two way. I listen to her, she listens to me. We put each other's problems into perspective. I also have a small number of really close friends I can confide in. I don't trust people easily.

My dh, one of my siblings, my diary.

Husband, daughters, friends, family. Depends on the support I want and the subject in question.

Myself. But I've been doing that since I was 6 years old. I've never let myself down!

Dh, dcs, friends

There are loads of people on mumsnet who are pretty good at supporting others.

Partner.

If I didn't have him I'd feel very alone.

It used to be my dad, he was perfect. Unfortunately he died when I was in my 30's.
My mother tried, but as she was an unemotional control freak it didn't work. Thank fuck she died when I was in my 40's.
Since then I have no support system, which is a bitch because my mental health is horrendous.

“So generally I deal with things alone - probably because that’s what was learnt growing up.”

Yes this is me too, my dm is/was very much stiff upper lip, never complain, don’t discuss feelings, sort yourself out.

It has worked ok for me to be honest, but now I’m questioning if it’s healthy or not. I tend to overthink things or catastrophise in my head and presume the worst case scenario will happen. Sometimes talking about it and getting other’s opinion can be helpful. But then i don’t want to drive away my friends either! But internalising the feelings can’t be heathy can it?