Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

"It's ok, he's friendly!"

292 replies

daffodilandtulip · 05/03/2023 11:21

Out walking this morning and I've heard the ultimate ridiculous excuse for not training your dog: an off lead dog jumps up at me, snarling and barking. Owner "we didn't see you there, you scared him."

Over the past week, we've had:

"He just wants to say hello", whilst jumping at a terrified, crying toddler.

"He won't hurt her, there's no need to be scared", whilst face to face with a dog the height of toddler.

"I'm not taking him on the road, he'll be scared", regarding the chiwowa IN THE OWNERS ARMS, whilst trying to make me walk three toddlers on a main road in order to pass.

"You'll have to get off the path, she won't walk in the mud" - large Rottweiler, in a children's park.

"He doesn't bite, he'll just jump up".

"Whatever's the matter with her?" said about toddler who has just been knocked over by a large dog and dog is remaining towered over her.

And obviously, a million and one of the "it's ok, he's friendly."

I've also got scratch marks down the entire side of my leg from trying to drag a "friendly" dog off my own dog's neck.

He's not friendly. It's not ok. Stop looking at me like I have three heads when I ask you to move the dog away from the child. Control your dog or use a damn lead!!

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 07/03/2023 23:24

XenoBitch · 07/03/2023 23:20

My dog does leave people alone.
What do you want me to do when I walk past a parent and their child, and the child is distressed about my dog just walking past?
It does happen a lot where I live, as there are communities that see dogs as dirty/scary, and that filters down to their kids.

Show quote history

If your dog is behaving well, rock on. Good for you, gold star.

Very likely the parents will be grateful as you're reinforcing the reassurance they've been trying to give their kids that most dogs are fine and won't bother them.

JassyRadlett · 07/03/2023 23:30

Meanwhile, my youngest is inexplicably terrified of cats. It's like that scene from The Mummy when he sees one.

Many Mumsnetters are inexplicably terrified of harmless spiders. There will always be people who are scared of just about anything.

The dick move is when people expect the terrified to deal with having tear cat/spider/whatever shoved in their face because they should have been brought up to deal with them.

(the 'no one should be scared of any dogs ever you're a failed parent if your kid isn't into being knocked down/there's a spider in my house I need to burn it down' is one of the most deliciously enjoyable Mumsnet contrasts.)

XenoBitch · 07/03/2023 23:34

JassyRadlett · 07/03/2023 23:24

If your dog is behaving well, rock on. Good for you, gold star.

Very likely the parents will be grateful as you're reinforcing the reassurance they've been trying to give their kids that most dogs are fine and won't bother them.

Show quote history

I would eat up all the gold stars, but I am just being a responsible dog owner.
On MN, I have been told I am awful for even being out with my dog, in case a dog phobic kid sees my hound.

KateAusten · 07/03/2023 23:35

I was in my local park recently and within seconds I was greeted by a man with two large Alsatian's off the lead walking towards me and DD

He moved over off the path but still if either of them had wanted to come over to us he would have been powerless to stop them as they were ahead of him

This was in an area where dogs are meant to be on a lead

Later that morning, same park, a dog again off the lead came over to DD who was startled. I won't repeat what I said to the woman, she immediately got very defensive and tried to justify having a dog off the lead

Minutes later a very large, powerful boxer type dog is off the lead, again in the area where dogs are meant to be on a lead. Two different couples both started shouting at the owner to get the dog on a lead.
One of them had picked up their own small dog as they were so concerned. I've seen this guy before causing problems. He puts the dog on a lead then lets it off when people have passed!

I'd say a good 7/10 people don't have dogs on a lead where it's clearly marked dogs should be on a lead

I've not been back since, I've started going to different parks

JassyRadlett · 07/03/2023 23:56

XenoBitch · 07/03/2023 23:34

I would eat up all the gold stars, but I am just being a responsible dog owner.
On MN, I have been told I am awful for even being out with my dog, in case a dog phobic kid sees my hound.

Show quote history

Well they're just as unreasonable as the He's Just Friendly/Bring Your Kid Up Not To Be Scared Of Dogs (But Fearing Spiders Is Totally Reasonable) crowd.

CremeEggQueen · 08/03/2023 00:23

YANBU!!
Absolutely fucking hate this, when they run up and jump up at you "he's just being friendly!"
I don't give a shit, get it off me and keep it under control. 😡
If my kid as a toddler ran up at you, tried to get on your knee and lick your face and jump up and down on you, is it alright for me to just do a stupid smile and say "he's just wanting to say hello!"
Er, no.

Northernsouloldies · 08/03/2023 02:19

CremeEggQueen · 08/03/2023 00:23

YANBU!!
Absolutely fucking hate this, when they run up and jump up at you "he's just being friendly!"
I don't give a shit, get it off me and keep it under control. 😡
If my kid as a toddler ran up at you, tried to get on your knee and lick your face and jump up and down on you, is it alright for me to just do a stupid smile and say "he's just wanting to say hello!"
Er, no.

All of the above, spot on. 😁

lieselotte · 08/03/2023 08:16

I don't dogs that ignore me, that is great. And to be fair, most do.

Some definitely wouldn't, if they weren't on short leads.

And then some just don't leave you alone. Their owners need to look at themselves.

This is an increasing problem, as today's article on the BBC website describes: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-64798162

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 08/03/2023 11:23

Wow.. you still here then !
What a pointless soul destroying thread. Pointless. Just Pointless

Thesharkradar · 08/03/2023 11:26

This is an increasing problem, as today's article on the BBC website describes: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-64798162

@lieselotte thank you for the link🙏
it's good to see some media recognition of the problem☝🏻

Thesharkradar · 08/03/2023 11:32

CremeEggQueen · 08/03/2023 00:23

YANBU!!
Absolutely fucking hate this, when they run up and jump up at you "he's just being friendly!"
I don't give a shit, get it off me and keep it under control. 😡
If my kid as a toddler ran up at you, tried to get on your knee and lick your face and jump up and down on you, is it alright for me to just do a stupid smile and say "he's just wanting to say hello!"
Er, no.

For a proper analogy it needs to be a large very muscular toddler with a powerful bite and the teeth of a predatory carnivore, some sort of werewolf toddler and the parent is some way off in the distance on their phone, you finally get their attention but they shrug and say no he's not attacking you that's just his way of showing affection.
There is no point trying to reason with dog people.

lieselotte · 08/03/2023 11:45

Thesharkradar · 08/03/2023 11:26

This is an increasing problem, as today's article on the BBC website describes: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-64798162

@lieselotte thank you for the link🙏
it's good to see some media recognition of the problem☝🏻

I agree. And it's so easy solvable really.

All dogs on short leads in certain/most areas.

Certain parks having (large) fenced off areas for off-lead exercise. I know people will moan about that as well saying they live close to a certain park and now it's been designated a dog exercise area but you can't please everyone, and there will be other places to go.

And some areas not allowing dogs at all, including most workplaces - I've noticed even my local libraries are having "therapy" dogs in now. They may well be properly trained therapy dogs, but I think it's unfair for existing staff who can't choose to go in on a different day if they don't like dogs or are allergic to them.

Thesharkradar · 08/03/2023 12:01

I think if we could establish the principle that dogs can only be off lead only in designated areas that would be a start.
Currently it seems as if dogs are off the lead by default, and of course there is the problem of the extendable leads.
There are never any consequences for the owner, meaning that they can blithely carry on causing a menace via their dog, this is a big problem.

melonraspberry · 08/03/2023 12:17

@Thesharkradar totally agree

or even a public info campaign about the legal requirement to keep dogs on lead in certain areas due to bird nesting season March-July. There are several areas near me with this notice up and no one pays any attention at all.

PuttingDownRoots · 08/03/2023 12:22

Another issue with out of control dogs... roads. I've had a dog run out of a footpath, across the road in front of my car while owners were oblivious 50metres back along the path. Honestly don't know how I missed it, and it was lucky there was no car behind me. It was nearly hit by the car on the opposite side of the road as well.

FuckNuggets · 08/03/2023 12:24

daffodilandtulip · 05/03/2023 11:21

Out walking this morning and I've heard the ultimate ridiculous excuse for not training your dog: an off lead dog jumps up at me, snarling and barking. Owner "we didn't see you there, you scared him."

Over the past week, we've had:

"He just wants to say hello", whilst jumping at a terrified, crying toddler.

"He won't hurt her, there's no need to be scared", whilst face to face with a dog the height of toddler.

"I'm not taking him on the road, he'll be scared", regarding the chiwowa IN THE OWNERS ARMS, whilst trying to make me walk three toddlers on a main road in order to pass.

"You'll have to get off the path, she won't walk in the mud" - large Rottweiler, in a children's park.

"He doesn't bite, he'll just jump up".

"Whatever's the matter with her?" said about toddler who has just been knocked over by a large dog and dog is remaining towered over her.

And obviously, a million and one of the "it's ok, he's friendly."

I've also got scratch marks down the entire side of my leg from trying to drag a "friendly" dog off my own dog's neck.

He's not friendly. It's not ok. Stop looking at me like I have three heads when I ask you to move the dog away from the child. Control your dog or use a damn lead!!

You're absolutely right OP. As a dog owner this just pisses me off. It takes less than 10 seconds to put the dog back on the lead and keep hold of him so he doesn't jump up at people. My dog is very well trained, and super friendly. But people don't know that. He also has a tendency to jump on people when he gets excited. I always put him back on the lead when there's people or other dogs around. Then the only person he's jumping on is me.

Thesharkradar · 08/03/2023 12:30

1-My dog is very well trained
2-He also has a tendency to jump on people when he gets excited.
@FuckNuggets
I can't help feeling that points 1 and 2 conflict with each other?

GotABeatForYouMama · 08/03/2023 12:48

JassyRadlett · 07/03/2023 23:30

Meanwhile, my youngest is inexplicably terrified of cats. It's like that scene from The Mummy when he sees one.

Many Mumsnetters are inexplicably terrified of harmless spiders. There will always be people who are scared of just about anything.

The dick move is when people expect the terrified to deal with having tear cat/spider/whatever shoved in their face because they should have been brought up to deal with them.

(the 'no one should be scared of any dogs ever you're a failed parent if your kid isn't into being knocked down/there's a spider in my house I need to burn it down' is one of the most deliciously enjoyable Mumsnet contrasts.)

YY to the spiders. I wonder how many who think it's no big deal if their dogs bound up to humans would be as glib if I told them "oh don't worry about my tarantula climbing up your arm....he's just being friendly" not many I'm willing to guess.

FuckNuggets · 08/03/2023 14:20

Thesharkradar · 08/03/2023 12:30

1-My dog is very well trained
2-He also has a tendency to jump on people when he gets excited.
@FuckNuggets
I can't help feeling that points 1 and 2 conflict with each other?

They probably do. But the only people we let him jump on is us. When we're out he's never allowed to jump people.

SmedsAndSmoos · 09/03/2023 09:59

I truly believe it should be the law that all dogs are kept on leads when in public places. Since having my son, the number of people who have deliberately encouraged their dog to approach me as an excuse to talk is ridiculous. If it were any other situation it would be considered harassment. Leave us alone, if I wanted your faeces eating friend near me I’d give some indication or approach you. We’re not all dog people and we’re not all out to make ‘friends’ with any and every random with a dog.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/03/2023 10:05

SmedsAndSmoos · 09/03/2023 09:59

I truly believe it should be the law that all dogs are kept on leads when in public places. Since having my son, the number of people who have deliberately encouraged their dog to approach me as an excuse to talk is ridiculous. If it were any other situation it would be considered harassment. Leave us alone, if I wanted your faeces eating friend near me I’d give some indication or approach you. We’re not all dog people and we’re not all out to make ‘friends’ with any and every random with a dog.

So because of those people, my dog has to suffer? How is that fair?

SmedsAndSmoos · 09/03/2023 10:10

Not sure how being on a lead is suffering. To be honest I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/03/2023 10:35

SmedsAndSmoos · 09/03/2023 10:10

Not sure how being on a lead is suffering. To be honest I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

Because you haven't got a clue about dogs. I have a dog that needs time off lead. I live in an area where that is ok and I have trained him.

I'm not keeping him miserable on a lead just because some people can't control their dogs.

SmedsAndSmoos · 09/03/2023 11:09

You do you

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/03/2023 11:13

SmedsAndSmoos · 09/03/2023 11:09

You do you

I will.