"It's ok, he's friendly!"

[daffodilandtulip]

Out walking this morning and I've heard the ultimate ridiculous excuse for not training your dog: an off lead dog jumps up at me, snarling and barking. Owner "we didn't see you there, you scared him."

Over the past week, we've had:

"He just wants to say hello", whilst jumping at a terrified, crying toddler.

"He won't hurt her, there's no need to be scared", whilst face to face with a dog the height of toddler.

"I'm not taking him on the road, he'll be scared", regarding the chiwowa IN THE OWNERS ARMS, whilst trying to make me walk three toddlers on a main road in order to pass.

"You'll have to get off the path, she won't walk in the mud" - large Rottweiler, in a children's park.

"He doesn't bite, he'll just jump up".

"Whatever's the matter with her?" said about toddler who has just been knocked over by a large dog and dog is remaining towered over her.

And obviously, a million and one of the "it's ok, he's friendly."

I've also got scratch marks down the entire side of my leg from trying to drag a "friendly" dog off my own dog's neck.

He's not friendly. It's not ok. Stop looking at me like I have three heads when I ask you to move the dog away from the child. Control your dog or use a damn lead!!

As the owner of a very friendly large Rottweiler, I find it imperative that she is well trained and behaved, due to their (mostly unwarranted) bad reputation. I do not let her approach unknown people or dogs without permission.

The only time I have ever said "it's ok, she's friendly" is when, on the school run one day, a lady and her grandson were cowering behind a lamppost waiting for us to pass. My dog was not near them or looking at them, she was fully under control and would have passed them without even noticing them - so to me, the lady's reaction was totally OTT

I do, however, understand that some people are just scared of dogs for whatever reason, and that's fine. That's why I tell my girl that not everyone wants to stroke her and have taught her not to approach everyone.

I can't stand the entitled owners who let their dogs run riot without a second thought for anyone else. It's totally irresponsible!

Was the dog on a lead in that situation? When you say ‘under control’ it’s not clear.

Tbh even if on a lead, it is never helpful to tell someone it’s ok because your dog is ‘friendly’. That implies it will want to come over and interact which is the exact thing that many of us do not want or consent to. We don’t care if it’s because the dog is friendly or because it’s aggressive - we don’t want it to come up to us full stop. Perhaps saying ‘it’s ok, she’s under my full control and we won’t come near you’ would be better. I know which I would rather hear.

Definitely not ok op. I walk my friends dog and he's excitable and jumps up and so he's never off the lead in public, and I pull him in towards me when I pass people. Really not difficult so not sure why others can't seem to manage to do the same!

And I agree we need areas where dogs aren't allowed. My childminder was frightened of dogs and therefore took the kids to places where they weren't allowed.

When she mentioned to a woman with a dog that this park was dog free and there was a sign on the gate the woman replied (in front of a couple of toddlers) 'my dog can't fucking read' charming!

I’ve been chased across the road by a barking dog, while the owner stood there shouting at me for “scaring his dog”! Apparently this dog barks to be friendly and I should know this and stand still so he can “get used to me”. It looked far more likely that I was considered lunch.

This was the final straw for me yesterday, when I was the person in the wrong for scaring her dog ... her dog who had jumped up me, barking and snarling whilst I was minding my own business.

I've had the "he thought you were friendly" after he had jumped up at me. He was also "chasing squirrels". I just said "do I look like a squirrel?" and then "no, I am not friendly".

I am fed up with having to restrict my life because of everyone else's need to take their dogs everywhere with them and not keep them away from people who don't want them around them.

We urgently need dog-friendly parks and other areas where dogs are not allowed and/or have to be on short leads.

Why can't people who want pets just get an animal that does not frighten children? Is terrifying toddlers some kind of basic human right these days?

Seriously? My toddlers were never terrified by dogs, maybe your should have gotten a dog then they wouldn't have spent their time being 'terrified'.

Seriously though, mumsnet makes the Uk sound like the Wild West half of you are going around terrified and the other half are brandishing unruly dogs. Surely the reality is somewhere in the middle?

Don't be ridiculous!

We're fed up of it in this house too. Have no politeness any more and also resort to hard stares and having a go at people who think it's ok for their dog to run and jump at us on a walk pretty much anywhere out of the house.

I'm sick of dogs being dumped in their gardens and barking for 20-30 mins at midnight and 6am every night. I'm sick of arse hole owners shouting at me for not liking their dogs jumping up at me because apparently I should know that they'd only be off the lead if they were well behaved (whilst behaving badly). I'm sick of doing home visits to patients and being jumped all over when trying to do my job. I'm sick of dog shit everywhere. And I'm sick of dogs just being everywhere all the time. My autistic son basically won't leave the house anymore except for school (specialist) and other family homes.

How do we get some laws around this brought in? It can't carry on getting worse surely?

@exampleeleven yes yes to the dog shit and the barking. NDN dog barks from 5am to late afternoon.

I remembered an incident my husband had with a dog owner. My husband had taken our then 2 kids (both toddlers) out for the day at a country park, complete with a picnic. They stopped for a last snack before home (at a picnic bench), when an unleashed dog came bounding over. Then before my husband could do anything, the dog snatched a sandwich out of a kids hand and ate it. Cue an irate dog owner running over, shouting and screaming, how dare they give her dog food and don't they know that it will give her dog loose stools and make them sick. My husband didn't know this woman at all and said no I don't know. But your dog snatched the sandwich off my kid. Maybe keep your dog on a lead to prevent future incidents. She said I don't care, you shouldn't be eating here, as it's too tempting for my dog.

I would have replied to her, using words ruder than "bottom."

Seriously though, mumsnet makes the Uk sound like the Wild West half of you are going around terrified and the other half are brandishing unruly dogs. Surely the reality is somewhere in the middle

I think it depends where you live. In my immediate area, most people are ok, despite the silly woman I met recently with her dog who didn't know the difference between a squirrel and a human.

But I don't have to go very far to get to places where people think you shouldn't be there if you aren't happy to have their dog(s) around you.

Where my mum lives is quite bad as well, you can't enjoy the open spaces there.

DS was scared of dogs. No bad experiences, me and DH like them so not learned behaviour. Just the way it was. Owners of dogs were often awful about it. I couldn't take him to the park as it would inevitably end in tears.

Yes, I know I can drive to areas which aren't like this - but I should be able to leave my front door to go for a walk without my car without all this nonsense.

But I don't have to go very far to get to places where people think you shouldn't be there if you aren't happy to have their dog(s) around you.

I did bump in to a woman with her two children by a kids play area with her 3 dogs, all off lead and very jumpy - and muddy.

Luckily my children both love dogs and we were all in our dog walking/park going coats etc so it was fine for us, but she made a comment about miserable people complaining about dogs jumping up them when they're in a dog walking area, which in reality is just a public footpath.

"Seriously? My toddlers were never terrified by dogs, maybe your should have gotten a dog then they wouldn't have spent their time being 'terrified'."

Once again, the expectation from yet another dog owner is that it's up to the non-owners to adapt their lives to prevent the upset caused by dogs that are not under control.

@CrotchetyCrocheting, not everybody wants a dog, not everybody can afford a dog, not everybody lives somewhere suitable for a dog, not everybody lives in a way that a dog would enjoy. Here's an idea, how about the dog owners control their dogs so that other people don't have to inconvenience themselves to deal with them?

Haha, this is batshit.
How many toddlers are scared to death of dogs? Not many. And I bet most are scared because of the parents.
Dogs are everywhere. Bring your toddler up to deal with them.

My child became scared of dogs as some people think dogs running up and knocking toddlers over or off their bikes is acceptable behaviour.

We do regular work with her so she isn't scared of dogs. She is fine with dogs she knows. Just not with random dogs running at her.

Its bad owners causing the problem.

Mine was.

Well, he wasn't until he was knocked down by a barking dog that was taller than him. After that he was terrified and all the small gains we made would be undone by some undisciplined, selfish fucker's 'oh he's just friendly' dog.

I don't think the solution was a facile 'get a dog' - wouldn't have been fair on the dog, for a start, without lifestyles at the time. But it's a problem that was caused by shit dog owners and exacerbated by shut dog owners. Blaming the toddler is pointing in the wrong direction, don't you think?

Nah. Your dog, your responsibility. Bring your dog up to leave other people alone.

I can agree with that. Bad owners are a problem.. but PP was saying that dogs in general should not be allowed because some kids are scared.
It is better to wear slippers than expect the whole world to be carpeted.

My dog does leave people alone.
What do you want me to do when I walk past a parent and their child, and the child is distressed about my dog just walking past?
It does happen a lot where I live, as there are communities that see dogs as dirty/scary, and that filters down to their kids.