Do you have autism or manage someone with autism?

[autipower]

I'm diagnosed autistic and chair a group at work about it. I've been asked by a few people to do a session for managers, so I'm drafting an plan (which I'll share with my network first of course).

I want it to be as non-patronising and useful as possible and help managers to emphasise more with their colleagues. At its heart it'll say "everyone's different so for goodness sake, talk to your employee, who is not an alien".

What do you wish someone would tell your manager (or not tell them)? Or if you're a manager, what do you wish someone would tell you?

Im not diagnosed (and not seeking diagnosis) but would meet the DSM criteria and have (diagnosed) Autistic kids so am very probably Autistic.
My main thing is, if you've met one Autistic person then you've met one Autistic person. Exactly what you said really, managers should talk to their employees to see what works/doesnt work for them.
Also, dont presume that because your employee is "functioning" at work that they are not struggling - or worse, dont do what some do & question their Autistic-ness. Ypu cant see all the stuff they do to maintain themselves at work. Both my son & daughter do really well in school/out and about but they are severely masking and its absolutely exhausting for them to the point they completely break down when they get home. People often query my sons diagnosis because they dont see that. Or they dont see the sensory supports he has throughout the day.
Basically just dont assume anything. Ask. And listen.

I'm a manager and was discussing this recently . I have a department of 180 and have so far not had a single person disclose, either on hiring, or after that they have ASD or similar. I'm very interested though in learning what I could do support if and when someone does come along. The average age is older though, so could be less diagnoses amongst this group.

For me, it's impossible to approach anyone to ask for help or reasonable adjustments, I just can't.

I'm only able to manage very part time hours. But a manager or supervisor that could instigate a quiet conversation occasionally about how I'm doing might help me honest about how I'm not coping. This kind of check in would be really helpful, as I would be too overwhelmed to start the conversation myself.

Work were understanding when I got my diagnosis, but that's where it ends. Currently I'm considering leaving as it's just too much.

I am diagnosed Autistic.

I do feel like an alien, and that's something I've found comforting throughout my life - to tell myself it is an unreasonable expectation for me to understand things that natives to this planet understand instinctively. I wish my manager would talk to me as if I were an alien, then I might stand a better chance of understanding what she means.

I used to manage someone with autism and they were brilliant at explaining how it impacted them at work. Never had any issues with their work (they were brilliant) but had to deal with other people moaning that the individual was too direct in their dealings. I often thought the directness was why their work was brilliant.

Anyway, maybe include something on how to deal with other people moaning. I used to explain that X had autism (this strategy was agreed with X) and they were just being factual etc... Not sure if that approach would always work though.

Autistic manager of autistic employee here!!

1. how to react when someone discloses to you!!! It can be a shock/scary- even though I am myself, I want to do the best for this person. I was surprised at how out of my depth I felt as a manager, despite being autistic myself!!!The best reactions I get are always “I’m so glad you told me”, makes me feel it was worth thE stress of disclosing.
2. Resources that a manager has in your firm to support them e.g. Occ Health, employer assistance programme- do you have private healthcare- if so, what does it cover? Charities like the National Autistic Society also have some free/cheap courses.
3. Judge by work output and quality not by social understanding. My employee churns out awesome work. The other day they asked if they could leave early to catch the earlier train home. I merrily said yes, assuming 4.30 as opposed to 5… they packed up and left, there and then at 11.30! I was shocked but actually it was completely my fault for not being specific. So some kind of explanation that this person’s social understanding will not necessarily correlate to the quality of output. I spend the time I don’t need to spend critiquing this employee’s work, coaching her on appropriate business ettiquette.
4. What it means to get diagnosed- I get so many people telling me “we’re all on the spectrum” etc etc but it’s HARD to get diagnosed and it means your impairments have a significant impact on your life. I think it’s important to emphasise this to debunk this myth and also reflect that just because some people seem fine at work, there may be a great personal cost outside of work e.g. the exhaustion and meltdowns from masking etc.
5. Managing for the individual. I think this is good practice anyway but managing with a mindset of doing the best you can for this person to grow and develop in a way that works for them, in order to get the best output from them, rather than a “performance first” approach. I always find managing EVERYONE as an individual really helps do what you need to do for your autistic employee without people claiming special treatment etc.

Reasonable adjustments are a legal right, not a privilege.

ND people are their own best advocates in what works for them.

If performance dips, very important to find out why as, all too often, MH issues get treated punitively.

If the person's role can comfortably be done at home, let this happen. It means no travel stress, no noise stress and relieves the anxiety of having to be around a lot of people.

Boundaries are so important. If melt down or shut down is happening in the workplace, take that person's lead. Don't rush them somewhere quiet and expect them to talk to you about their "upset", however well meaning. Ask them what you can do to support them for if this scenario happens. For me, I need quiet and leaving the fuck alone.

Remember that equality and equity are 2 very different things.

I'm one of 4 network leads in work for this very thing, as my employer state that they're a fully inclusive employer. They may be, but they forgot to tell their managers this.

We're currently looking at getting one of the execs to sponsor us so we can get an annual budget to keep raising awareness and support our colleagues. We've asked for a quiet area on each floor which can be a sensory space. It looks like we're getting it!

Come over to the neurodiverse mumsnetters board too! Look at autism UK website for resources.

My husband worked someone and they have a lot of in person meetings (well, over zoom), brainstorms etc. He found it was v useful to give everyone a chance to email in thoughts before or after meetings. One staff member struggled in group settings and would stay quiet and observe in spite of having v useful ideas and opinions.

Thank you all so much! I will work through these and add in.

@BoardLikeAMirror really interesting point of view and I get what you mean. I don't feel like an alien myself but when I was younger I was obsessed with Star Trek and the idea of getting away from this planet.

I only have a 9yo with asd, but I anticipate that she will struggle to advocate for herself when she feels others would 'cope', she has high anxiety so look out for MH. Things like lots of meeting back to back without a decent amount of time to decompress and gear up for the next one would exhaust her.

I'd suggest trying to come up with a variety of adjustments that are possible, from camera allowed off in teams meetings, WFH more, soft skills coaching etc etc that managers could discuss if the individual is uncertain what might help or what is reasonable for them to ask for.

I hope we've generally made it a better workplace by the time she starts work @MuggleMe I do feel that awareness in general is getting better.

I'm autistic and manage other people but have yet to manage someone with autism.

That a lot of people with ASD can struggle with time. Seemingly tiny things that would be easy to just ignore for someone NT can seem insurmountable and make you late no matter how early you start.

I'm autistic. If you put adjustments in place then ensure they really are in place and it's not just a paper exercise. At my last job all air fresheners were supposed to have been removed as they made me ill, but the problem was that they weren't removed even though on paper it said they were. I was confused and didn't know how to deal with this so I just left.

That's awful @stbrandonsboat. I hate those things with a passion.

Autistic people are as different from each other as NT.

Teach them the lingo- don't use Asperger's or 'high functioning' for a start.

Do some mythbusting eg autistic people arent all savants, all men, etc

Talk about sensory issues eg sounds, smells bright lights etc in the office.

No hot desking!

Put all 'rules' in writing.

This person blogs about autism at work: helenjeffries.wordpress.com/2023/01/03/getting-the-management-basics-right/. Might be useful.

This is a really difficult one as everyone is different. I am the parent of an autistic teen. Thinking of my teen who takes everything literally and can’t ask for help, it would probably to give them a mentor. Be aware of overload in terms of noise and busyness. Plenty of preparation for change. Routines are key.

Apologies in advance if I've phrased this poorly.

Strengths based approach as far as possible. I've only managed 1 person with autism but he was crazy good at his special interest or area of hyperfocus or whatever (not sure what to call it), but awful at things like talking to clients. When we capitalised on his talents he was a total diamond as an employee, hiring him was never a concession or accommodation so to speak.

I know this sounds like a stereotype though which I know not everyone with autism likes – I have ADHD and there's been backlash from some with ADHD (not me personally) against the sparkly view that it's a superpower and you have to have strengths etc... I'm rambling but yeah I guess the middle ground would be strengths based approach like how you would approach any other neurotypical employee.

Honestly? I think this is where employers should be calling in professionals to run training. No disrespect to you OP but your experience is limited and that shows by this thread alone. If you relent want to make a difference to the workplace try to get some proper training in the workplace and then draw on individual experiences as a back up.

I’m a lecturer and have several autistic students this year. My main takeaways from them (and students in previous years) is that they are all so different no amount of training has been useful. I have had to learn each one’s differences to be able to support them properly.

One of the students takes everything very literally, which can be really challenging, another gets extremely anxious but finds having written plans for managing tasks very useful. One of the students has an “obsession” which is not relevant to anything we are doing on the course, but they are really keen to shoehorn into everything. I have found this so, so difficult because I don’t want to shut them down, but it can be so distracting for other students and everyone gets sidetracked! (It’s not this, but imagine an hour of a seminar where everyone is talking about Pokémon instead of the subject, and you know time is already stretched to the max…!)

@percypercypercy I see your point, and anything I delivered was going to be with the caveat of "remember, this is the unofficial guide from a group in the community".

The thing is, I've attended official autism awareness events in the past and every single one has either been cringeworthingly patronising, or so carefully vague that they're useless box-ticking exercises. Meanwhile I'm senior and respected and I've been told I'm brilliant at teaching and inspiring and leading groups. I'd like to try something more interactive and customised which might have more impact.

Having said this, if the community vetoes the idea I'll drop it - and if you've been on some actual good courses, please do post the link?

Undiagnosed but with 2 diagnosed children and sure I'm autistic too.

Maybe being aware that ability to cope with sensory issues can fluctuate, so eg. someone can cope with the smell of their colleague's perfume usually but then one day they they're stressed and tired and they can't.

Also not acting as if the autistic person is really weird if they try to explain their sensory issues and how they can cause physical pain, or claiming that it's not physically possible to hear/ smell whatever. Obviously that should go without saying but some NT people do behave like that.

i would start by explaining what Austin’s is… a triad of impairments, show a
picture slide which demonstrates this visual.

Explain that people sit differently within the triad of impairments. Discuss the issues people might face with each element on the triad. show a short video of autistic people explaining how life is for them. Discuss potential support strategies.

Explain that autism is a considered a disability and therefore a protected characteristic under the 2010 equalities act. Give a quick explanation about what the 2010 equalities act covers.

Discuss the term ‘reasonable adjustment’ with disabilities. Give a practical real life example of an employee making adjustments or not making adjustments and the legal fall out.

outline good sources of advice and support .. HR, the national autistic society, other groups

My son is autistic and I think he will struggle with time keeping/pace of work. I can imagine him getting anxious over small details. Don’t move the water cooler for gos sake and build in transition time.