Do you have autism or manage someone with autism?

[autipower]

I'm diagnosed autistic and chair a group at work about it. I've been asked by a few people to do a session for managers, so I'm drafting an plan (which I'll share with my network first of course).

I want it to be as non-patronising and useful as possible and help managers to emphasise more with their colleagues. At its heart it'll say "everyone's different so for goodness sake, talk to your employee, who is not an alien".

What do you wish someone would tell your manager (or not tell them)? Or if you're a manager, what do you wish someone would tell you?

Also explain that women can mask, so autism presents differently in men and women

I think it would be really helpful to clear up a common misunderstanding about what 'being on the spectrum' actually is. The way this comes up in conversation often perpetuates the misunderstanding.
This explanation is really helpful and gave me a lightbulb moment when it was explained to me:
neuroclastic.com/its-a-spectrum-doesnt-mean-what-you-think/

I know the diagnosis of Aspergers is on its way out, and I understand why most/ many people don't use it and don't like it but it is still in use in some places and not everyone dislikes using it.
My daughter has a diagnosis of Aspergers( diagnosed 2 years ago in Scotland). I use the term Aspergers and autism for her and with her. Please don't assume everyone's experience and preferences are the same as what is currently ' in favour' .

This is brilliant! I've only skim read it (will read the entire thing later when I've woken up a bit) but I've never seen it explained like this and it makes so much sense. I was guilty of thinking of the spectrum as a gradient, just as the article says.

Don't make presumptions about anyones abilities. Listen. Coach. Mentor. Put in training plans and reviews, where necessary, and actually follow through. My experience is company policies are for 'development' but actually means tick box and Jack shit practically.

I'm not diagnosed with anything, but a manager did tell me she suspected I was ND. Then, proceeded to tell me I didn't have the social skills to be a manager. I changed locations with a different boss and was a manager for 5 years. until I had another new manager who was worse
I've now changed direction, no longer a manager, but I'm a sought-after member of staff. I don't always get social cues but have no problem with my colleagues or customers.

Hello other early risers! 👋

In making notes just now from this I realised that I never responded to you @Punxsutawney. I'm so sorry you're in that situation. I'm hoping that our network will make it easier for people who work here who feel like you do

@icanneverthinkofnc yes I agree. I was outright told "it's good to know our limits" before applying for my current senior roles by one person, and here I am, rocking it and being told that I am capable of going much further and should be going for promotions. And there was a time in my career I'd have been timid enough to listen to her. Maybe something about remember how powerful your words as a manager can be for someone who may take things literally.

I was outright told "it's good to know our limits" before applying for my current senior roles by one person, and here I am, rocking it

Knowing your own limits isn't necessarily bad - I agree having others impose arbitrary limits on your capabilities isn't helpful. However, the current rhetoric is so often 'anyone can achieve their dreams if they try hard enough' and that is also unhelpful - if there are certain things you cannot do, it isn't great when it's implied it's because you're not trying hard enough or have the wrong mindset. It's really important, I think, to respect people's limits which can be done while still encouraging people in the areas they believe they are capable of achieving more.

I wish I had been diagnosed at the start of my career and then been supported in it.

I was excellent at parts of my job, but the anxiety was crippling if I was asked to do something else that I wasn't familiar with. Business travel and public speaking were my two biggest nightmares but everyone was expected to do this as part of the role. I could do it, but at huge cost to me and my health. With hindsight, if I could have asked to just do those parts of the job that I was really good at, I would have had considerably less time off sick and would have stayed at each job much longer. Just because I was good at what I did, didn't mean I could handle something different.

The take home for me as a manager is listen to your individual staff and find out what adaptations they would like. Mould the job to suit them as far as possible and don't constantly try to push them out of their comfort zone. Let them set the pace of change so they are comfortable with it. Some of my colleagues loved the travel and doing presentations - arrange your staff's workload to suit their individual strengths and don't expect everyone to be the same.

Yeah I see what you mean, but I think it's usually better to encourage than discourage someone.

I've coached very anxious brilliant people into promotions and wasn't surprised. I was surprised when someone I mentored recently succeeded. I privately didn't think was at that standard yet and they got it. They said my cheeriness and confidence in them made a big difference and gave them a push. It turns out that other people saw things in the interview that I didn't and I was right not to just trample them out of not being sure. So at least occasionally, that belief from someone else can make an impact?

I can equally see though how telling someone "yes you can do that, no problem!" then watching them fall flat would be downright cruel, and remove their trust in you too.

(The above was to @BoardLikeAMirror)

@Firefly2023 I too wish I'd been diagnosed earlier. I wonder who and where I'd have been with that understanding earlier on. But then again I'm at a generally happy point in life now, and it is what it is.

I wonder if I'd have pushed myself as much early on, or would I have just thought "oh I can't do that, I'm not capable". Then again all that pushing came at a huge mental and physical expense. Like you say you can do things brilliantly but it all had a cost.

Thank you very much for the share! I'd particularly like reasonable adjustments options re autism to be better understood at work: helenjeffries.wordpress.com/2022/11/15/areas-for-autism-reasonable-adjustments/

Thank you very much for the share! I wish work places were better at understanding autism reasonable adjustments. Also, sorry for the double post, I'm only just working out how this site works! helenjeffries.wordpress.com/2022/11/15/areas-for-autism-reasonable-adjustments/

Ausome Trainers in Ireland have courses/info about neurodiversity in the work place. I havent accessed those specifically but have done other courses from them that i found excellent. All the trainers are Autistic too.

Something that I have realised about myself is that I don't do well when put on the spot. I spent the first 15 years of my working life feeling completely panicked, out of my depth and like I couldn't speak about my role with any authority no matter how long I'd been in it.

I now realise that I need time to process more complex requests. I do know the answer, I just need a bit longer to dig it out and it's more difficult if someone is staring at me expectantly. I'm becoming more comfortable with saying "I'm going to look into this and get back to you" or "leave this with me and I will send more detailed instructions via email".

I'm also very literal and tend to fixate on individual words rather than any implied context of a sentence, so I need people to be as specific as possible. I ask a lot of clarifying questions so please try not to display your frustration, and don't assume everyone will extrapolate the same implicit meaning from something you think is obvious.

For example, my workplace recently emailed all staff to say the building would be closed on the day of the Coronation. My colleagues were baffled when I did not understand that meant it was a holiday. How would I know that? The email only said the building would be closed; if we're getting an extra holiday, say that! 😭

I would have thought the same @amusedbush - "the buildings closed, are we all just working from home?"