Things we assume about adulthood as children

[WomanStanleyWoman2]

Clearing some stuff out of my parents’ house recently, I found some stories I wrote when I was about 11 (I loved writing stories as a child). These were all set in what was then the future, with me as an adult. Virtually every character in the story was based one of my school friends at the time; we were all still close as adults (to the point that I’d invented marriages between us).

It struck me that, at that age, it hadn’t really occurred to me that childhood friendships wouldn’t necessarily survive into adulthood. This was probably quite an extreme example - I probably knew even then that I wouldn’t have the exact same circle of friends all my life - but the idea that my best friends would disappear from my life just wouldn’t have entered my head.

It also got me thinking about where I’d expected to live as an adult. From childhood I had a “dream house” - this cottagey-looking bungalow just around the corner. I don’t think I quite gave up on the idea until my teens! Now, the thought of living within five - ten minutes walk of where I grew up just feels stifling, but as a child it seemed natural.

So, just for fun, what did your dream adulthood look like compared to the reality?

For some reason I thought that I'd have long long hair (at least waist length) and wear dungarees, that wine would taste very sweet and that I'd know what to say and do in any situation. Still waiting, I always feel like I'm winging it!

I thought I'd have a cool flat in Chelsea with a few friends, and having children would be a doddle because I'd have a live-in nanny. To be fair, I did know people with that sort of lifestyle.

I can't really remember what I thought as a child but as a teenager I thought as an adult I'd get married, have children, have an interesting job with a charity and live in one of the nice Victorian houses near our 6th form like some of my posher friends.

I am married with DC but I don't work for a charity, and I still dream about the nice Victorian houses! (Although if we get very lucky some have been converted into flats - I'd hapily settle for half a Victorian house).

I thought all adults always acted sensibly and responsibly (with the exception of Bad People who would clearly be criminals and dealt with by the police) so normal adults would not be unnecessarily mean to each other, bully people, tell lies etc.

I also firmly believed that people who did well at school became better at doing everything so would be given a really well paid job, but it would be easy for them to do because of their cleverness. So I thought the plan was to work as hard as possible at school then I'd be able to sit back and relax as an adult getting loads of money, doing and easy job and having loads of time to just do whatever I wanted.

The real world of competition to get a job/promotion, constant pressure to hit targets at work etc and the fact that loads of supposedly upstanding adults act like utter arseholes would have horrified the 12 year old me!

My absolute certainty that I would work for my whole life (until retirement) which baring in mind I left school in 1981 (aged-16) when jobs were very scarce, was wishful thinking (for some) but ended up being true for me.

I remember just after taking my O-levels, we were chatting about the upcoming summer holidays and I said I wanted to make the most of it as I wouldn't get 6-weeks off again until I retired.
Turned out to be true. Over the summer hols that year I got a job (started Sept) and then I worked continuously (changing employer only once) until today where I am about to retire at the grand old age of 57.

My belief came true (although a few years earlier than I originally expected).

When I was primary school age I thought I’d be a real life female James Bond type driving around in Ferraris along the Amalfi Coast (I was a massive fan of The Persuaders and think I was more inspired by them than actual JB). As it turned out I hate driving and am not the super confident type that would be driving along cliff edges wearing a headscarf and sunglasses.

I never factored in how boring adulting could be- laundry, washing, tidying up and organising fun for other people. So over that side of it.

Tim Minchin got there first...and far better than I can write. The 4th paragraph especially always makes me a bit sad 'cos I often don't feel strong enough....

When I grow up
I will be tall enough to reach the branches
That I need to reach to climb the trees
You get to climb when you're grown up

And when I grow up
I will be smart enough to answer all
The questions that you need to know
The answers to before you're grown up

And when I grow up
I will eat sweets every day
On the way to work and I
Will go to bed late every night
And I will wake up
When the sun comes up and I
Will watch cartoons until my eyes go square
And I won't care 'cause I'll be all grown up!

When I grow up
I will be strong enough to carry all
The heavy things you have to haul
Around with you when you're a grown-up

And when I grow up,
I will be brave enough to fight the creatures
That you have to fight beneath the bed
Each night to be a grown-up

And when I grow up
I will have treats every day
And I'll play with things that mum pretends
That mums don't think are fun

And I will wake up
When the sun comes up and I
Will spend all day just lying in the sun
And I won't burn 'cause I'll be all grown-up
When I grow up

And when I grow up
I will be brave enough to fight the creatures
That you have to fight beneath the bed
Each night to be a grown-up
(
From Matilda the Musical)

Me too. Confident, assertive, knowing exactly what to do or say in any given situation.

Narp. Didn't happen.

I thought I'd be able to have a career and DCs just like my dad.

I didn't realise that because I'm a woman I'd be expected to do 'wife work'.

i thought all adults got to live in a nice house of their choice, they could afford to buy things, they knew what to do and how to do everything.

I thought childhood was the hard bit with having to go to school, adults telling you what you can and can’t do and adulthood would be amazing, with complete freedom to do what you want and go where you want with who you want.

Yes, we are. 45 years!

I grew up reading my mum’s copies of Vogue and House Beautiful, so I presumed I would waft around in high fashion in a converted loft with luxury sofas. Currently wearing 3 pairs of Primark joggers in a freezing council house.

I used to genuinely believe that when we were all in bed. The adults would run off downstairs and celebrate and jump on a bouncy castle and have loads of fun.

We were never allowed out of bed so logic had it that they had to be doing something utterly awesome. I was off my tits as a kid.

I thought life would be like the Waltons or an American sitcom and my house would be an American house. That I would have shit loads of friends and we would all sit outside and toast marshmallows 🤣

@DianePemberley That was my exact image of my adulthood as a child! Down to the cat! How funny and also eerie! I also wore glasses in this daydream. I don't IRL, but I'm sure that'll come with the passing of time!

@80sMum awwww ... that's AMAZING. & lovely. Glad to hear a happy story today! 💐

Because of Disney... and this is SO ick(!) I believed that 'someday' my prince would come. I'd get married and he'd be so rich that I wouldn't need to work and I could just do what I liked all day.

And also that once you got married, you just lived 'happily ever after'... not sure what that entails exactly but in my head it was ballroom dancing like Belle from Beauty and the Beast, going to magical places and being showered with gifts, and staring into each other's eyes with so much love ALL THE TIME. Life was just a big romantic fairytale... you didn't have to do any chores and you got to live in a beautiful house.

Also, the same was true for all women everywhere. They just needed to marry a rich handsome prince...

Reality is somewhat different! 🤣

I was 27 at the millennium. Absolutely convinced when I was younger that this momentous event would involve having a fancy NYE dinner party at my house with my 'professional' husband, dressed like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffanys, whilst my two angelic children slept upstairs.

In reality I spent it skint, in a freezing damp house with no carpets, with a bunch of randoms, getting stoned and doing coke, and 12.00 saw me holding my boyfriend's hair whilst he puked into a towel whilst the fireworks went off outside. Definitely not how I envisaged it!

I definitely didn't realise how much housework, life admin, drudgery was involved. I thought being an adult meant you could do whatever you wanted and knew all the answers.
Sadly this doesn't appear to be the case🤣

Some of these are great!

I’ve remembered another one - the cocktail cabinet. My parents had a fully stocked cocktail cabinet, despite hardly ever drinking spirits at home. If we had a party, when they asked guests what they wanted to drink and then produced it, I thought this was a scarily well organised and expensive thing to be able to do. How on Earth would I earn enough as an adult to have literally everything someone might ask for available?

What I hadn’t twigged as a child was that a) spirits didn’t go off and b) as long as you had whisky, vodka and brandy, you were probably safe. (Ironically I now have a ton of spirits and liqueurs in the house. Including seven different flavours of Baileys 😁)

Being a single adult with no kids was pretty stupendous. It shocked me how much maintaining a relationship and bringing up kids takes.

I thought your annual salary was literally £xx divided by 12. I was shocked when I found out there were deductions for tax/NI/pension/student loan. I pay about £900pcm 😢 😢 I also assumed that adults genuinely knew the answer when I asked them something. Little did I know that the chances are they were just winging it and looking around for a responsible adult just like I do now 😂 😂

The 'When I Grow Up' song from Matilda kind of captures it for me

I wanted to live in a little perfectly symmetrical cottage that was nearby. But then someone else bought it and extended it, so it wasn't symmetrical anymore. Rude.

My childhood dream house was sold, along with the house next door, for demolition and redevelopment 😢 I was gutted.

So true!