Things we assume about adulthood as children

[WomanStanleyWoman2]

Clearing some stuff out of my parents’ house recently, I found some stories I wrote when I was about 11 (I loved writing stories as a child). These were all set in what was then the future, with me as an adult. Virtually every character in the story was based one of my school friends at the time; we were all still close as adults (to the point that I’d invented marriages between us).

It struck me that, at that age, it hadn’t really occurred to me that childhood friendships wouldn’t necessarily survive into adulthood. This was probably quite an extreme example - I probably knew even then that I wouldn’t have the exact same circle of friends all my life - but the idea that my best friends would disappear from my life just wouldn’t have entered my head.

It also got me thinking about where I’d expected to live as an adult. From childhood I had a “dream house” - this cottagey-looking bungalow just around the corner. I don’t think I quite gave up on the idea until my teens! Now, the thought of living within five - ten minutes walk of where I grew up just feels stifling, but as a child it seemed natural.

So, just for fun, what did your dream adulthood look like compared to the reality?

I also thought i would be married and pregnant at 16.
I married at 17 and was persuaded to hold off being pregnant as a teen. Problem was life got in the way and I didn’t have my children till I was in my very late 30s. I really wanted lots of children.

Looking back every time I have put something off or been sensible it has always ended up worse for me.

I always imagined that there was some kind of switch somewhere about your person, and one day you'd wake up and find out that it had been switched on. You were no longer a child, you now had to be a sensible grown-up, and that you would never have fun being silly or messing about ever again.

That's how it feels for many of us!

I thought my mum was positively ancient when she had me at 27.
I also thought that when you reached 24 you were a proper adult and life was then sorted forever. You never argued with anyone or disagreed with friends and life was perfect. 24 was also the perfect age to marry.

I had DC1 at 35 and married at 37. As for the rest 😳

I thought being an adult looked cool and that making decisions for yourself every single day was a fun thing. It is not.

When I was a kid I wondered how you paid mortgages and taxes etc. I used to lie awake worrying about it. I must have been quite young as I also remember worrying about getting in touch with Father Christmas to tell him what my kids wanted.

Luckily I seem to have coped fine with all 3 things as an adult.

I also thought coffee was an adult drink, and I'd like when I grew up. Nope. Or I haven't grown up enough yet.

I wanted to live in a little perfectly symmetrical cottage that was nearby. But then someone else bought it and extended it, so it wasn't symmetrical anymore. Rude.

I was 200% sure I’d have a dog. My mum was scared of them when I was growing up, and we could never have had one as a result. I absolutely love dogs, it was always a matter of which one I’d have. DH is bloody allergic, so still no dog. And they’re quite limiting.

I was convinced ifmd either have 4 kids, or triplets... maybe both!!!

I have 2 kids, 20 month gap... more than enough!!!

I was going to have a minimalist swish apartment, all white walls, and own a parrot like the one who lived in the pet shop.

I was going to have a big white wedding and my dress made for me. I wasn't interested in a husband or was just about the dress. Inspired, I think, by a nearby dressmakers where you could see fittings from the main street.

I had a rosy view where it would be better somehow, if boring, because I'd have a grown up job.

I thought I'd go to dinner parties where people made witty, erudite conversations, or soirees where the women wore cocktail dresses and obviously more witty erudite things were said, and that I'd be friends with people who were professors of archeology or film directors.

Fuck knows why, it's not like I saw my parents do any of that.

Me too. In fact I only realised over the past few years that my parents are winging it as much as I am - I'm in my 50's 😬

Brilliant!

I thought I would always have money for bus fare

I remember when I was about 8 hearing an adult grumbling about the cost of bus fare, and I thought she was a real anomaly - surely all adults have adequate bus fare in their pockets at all times...

I was quite judgemental about her! I thought she wasn't a proper adult. I thought I was going to be an adult who always had bus fare ready!

how wrong I was!

I thought you were assigned your job when you left school, by the government or maybe your teachers and that thats what you just had to do forever. My parents didn't particularly enjoy their work and we never had any money so I couldn't imagine that they had chosen to do them because they seemed like rubbish jobs.
I remember being nervous that I would get given a rubbish job to do too. I wanted to be a farmer and was worried 'they" were going to make me be something boring like a bank manager or a maths teacher.
No offence to anyone who does those jobs but as a 6 year old they were my nightmare.

I also remember thinking I would have to have two husbands, one to build our house and the other one to live in it with me to have all the children.

I thought I would be famous. Not that I particularly wanted to be, I just assumed it would happen. As it turned out, I am not famous and that is fine. I would hate to be recognised while out walking!

That I would spend AT LEAST 20 pounds a week on sweets

I thought I'd be totally alone, I remember lying in bed at night aged 9 terrified thinking of how scary it would be when I had to move out and live on my own. I'd decided I'd get a really big scary dog. I've actually never lived alone as I met DH in my teens, now in my 40's. I also thought everyone was given a house because we rented a house that came with my parent's job. I'm still daydreaming of my own home. I thought I'd have had loads of kids including twins and live right beside the sea. I have two kids and live in a central city hours from the sea.

I also thought as an adult I would be in control, confident and know exactly what to do and say in any given situation. It's how my parents/relatives always seemed to me anyway...self assured. I tried to emulate this to my own kids because I think it gives them a feeling of security, but a lot of the time I'm not sure if I'm making the right decision! I just act like I am!

I always knew I wanted marriage and children (though perhaps if id had my time again, I'd have waited longer before having my first child). I thought I'd travel around the world in my 20s too, but I was bringing my children up, so will have to wait til I'm in my 40s to do that!

When i was very young (up to 10) i couldn't understand why my 2 nans didn't just move in with us. So much more fun for me! No idea of the fact that a) my mother hated her MIL, and that my dad's mum hated my mum's mum.

I wanted to grow up and have a big house and lots of horses and no kids. The big house has come true - but no horses and lots of kids 😂

When i was about 12 i worked out how old i would be in the year 2000. When i realised i'd be over 30 i genuinely hoped/expeected i'd be dead by then as that i never wanted to be so disgustingly ancient and uncool as to be over 30!
(i was tragically stupid back then).

When I was about 12 i worked out how old I would be in the year 2000. When I realised I'd be over 30 I genuinely hoped/expected I'd be dead by then as that I never wanted to be so disgustingly ancient and uncool as to be over 30!

I remember working out I'd be in my early 20s in 2000 and thinking that I'd be so old I wouldn't think that sort of thing was interesting any more!

I thought I'd spend a lot of my adult years eating cake-mix. It used to baffle me that you didn't see grown-ups just randomly eating it for fun.

I also thought I'd live next-door to my best friend and we'd have a joining door in our living room. As I've got older I prefer to live in different counties!

As a child I had absolutely no confidence whatsoever due to family dynamics.
When I reached my teens all I wanted to do was find a wonderful guy to rescue me and marry, and LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER, like in the fairy tales or romantic novels.
Yes, sad, I know🙄
I wanted to marry Scott of the Walker Brothers, and thought that if I just got myself down to London, I'd find him on a street corner, waiting for me.
My "reserve" choices were, (not necessarily in this order!), Paul Mc Cartney, Paul Jones of Manfred Mann, Peter Frampton of The Herd.......I could go on, you get the drift 😄And......I'm showing my age!
I really believed that you grew up, became an adult, and everything was given to you.
Fortunately I managed to mature somewhat and carve out a life for myself, but it took a while........

lemmein · Today 18:34 I thought I'd spend a lot of my adult years eating cake-mix. It used to baffle me that you didn't see grown-ups just randomly eating it for fun.

Hmmm - to be fair i DO eat a lot of cake mix 😀

I assumed that when you were an adult you weren't scared of anything e.g. the dark, ghosts, big dogs...I just thought those fears sort of disappeared with puberty. I'm 40 and still scared of the dark.

I also thought it was amazing that you got to sleep in the same room as someone else (see fear of dark) and you didn't have to go to sleep alone....I'd now give anything for it to be acceptable to sleep alone as my DH has apnoea and snores like a walrus!

Before my teens i had to be home when the streetlights started coming on.

I firmly believed that once i was old enough to stay out i'd sit on walls chatting (and flirting) well into the night.

Once i was old enough to sit on walls well into the night chatting and flirting i desperately wanted to be old enough to go into pubs and sit in them all night drinking and laughing.

Once i was old enough (and had enough money) to sit in pubs all night drinking and laughing i just wanted to be at home and comfy and watching TV - just like i did before my teens 😂