Why do men think you want to be hit on at the gym?

[Talkingtomyhouseplants]

I am a regular gym goer (3-5 times per week). Twice in the last week I have been hit on by men in the weights section. Yesterday a man interrupted me MID SET to take out my headphones to compliment me on how good I looked and ask what I was training for. Apparently the answer “my upcoming wedding” was not enough to deter him and he continued to try to make conversation with me.

This is not the first time this has happened but twice in the last week as really pissed me off. Do men actually think this is a good way to meet women?

Sorry just a rant really!

Because gym is the club scene equivalent. You get to have a good idea of their body in tight clothes and see their body contort in all sort of poses. There is something in common to talk about. You're probably all over 16 there. There is a social element and you can build up attraction over several well timed visits. There are mirrors everywhere so plenty of checking out and flirting.
I have no scientific evidence for this but I think men get turned on when working out. Sweaty skimpy clothes bending and squatting. I'd never go to a mixed gym ever again because of this and I'm hardly a looker. Get checked out even in huge T shirt and baggy trackies if you walk in looking great in sports bra and leggings showing every ripple and curve of your body men will be like vultures.

They can understand and they do. They just feel entitled to behave in this way.

This happens to me all the time.

I go to the gym 3-4 times a week and I lift weights. So many men think that’s the right time to talk to women and I just don’t understand why. I’ve now started taking my kid’s dad airpods to the gym but men STILL speak to me.

Last week I was doing hip thrusts, lifting 80kg and this guy stopped right next to me and waited until I was done to speak to me. It’s soooo annoying just leave us alone

Men would say the problem is if they don't approach women then they'd be dateless their whole lives because the onus is on them to approach. However, they shouldn't creep out strangers.

OP do you mean he caused you to take your headphones off or he actually touched you and did this himself?

Social media/mobile phones/technology etc has left too many socially stunted and unable to read cues/body language and lack empathy.

@User135644 so... before social media men KNEW how to act approrpiately?!

hahahaha

I must be a massive munter because I’ve never been hit on at the gym! Sometimes people assist me moving weights or ask if we can take turns on equipment but that’s all. The benefits to middle aged invisibility I guess.

I"m quite jumpy and reactive, especially if I'm interrupted whilst I'm highly focused, if someone went to put their hands by my face for earphones I'd probably throat punch them op, you need to report them, touching is never ok

That's not what I said is it? Just said there's less social cues etc now.

They don't think you want to be hit on, they just think that what they want is more important than what you want.

Well, my experience is well before social media etc and I can assure you, men chose to ditch those social cues then too. I don't believe for one second that the man OP is talking about has been let down by social media and that's why he thought it was okay.

I think a lot of men are justsoooo desperate for sex and they will try it on with most women and everywhere. At supermarket, in the middle of the street, on th ebus, at hospital, at lift, at carpark, anywhere and everywhere.
If you're young, attractive, wear something revealing, have a friendly smiley face, they will approach you more. Sometimes I find the ones that lurk and stare more uncomfortable and creepy then the ones who approach, shoot their shot and move on. I can't bide by the ones who watch every move and act awkward around me ugh, studying me for days or weeks.

So if men cannot attempt to charm young women in the office because of hybrid working, don't have a local pub, perhaps then they have changed to using the gym to attempt and fail to impress women.

I'm sorry OP, that's so annoying. This is why we need to preserve women only spaces - unfortunately they are under attack from the 'be kind' brigade who think everything should be mixed sex.

I have to walk through a gym weekly to pick DS up from a class after I’ve been at work (so usually in thick coat with the shape of a potato, recently woolly hat, and with my end of day face on) and I’ve still been intimated/pissed off by being looked up and down by the men I walk past. There are always plenty of fit younger women working out in Lycra - I can’t imagine the annoyance they feel. Bloody testosterone.

Ah sorry, I didn’t read it properly and thought he was the one saying the man has plausible deniability.

I work in gyms (I’m a personal trainer).

Please — when this crap happens, talk to us. Talk to a trainer, talk to reception, talk to the manager. And if your gym won’t do anything meaningful about it, or pretends there isn’t a problem, vote with your feet and your wallet and find a different gym.

These men are like fungus — they thrive in the dark and quiet places. We need to make it less dark and less quiet. That’s the fungicide.

I work in gyms because I’m passionate about fitness being for everyone. When someone comes along who acts counter to this it makes me so angry because it goes against everything I stand for.

So please — talk to us.

Report him to the management!

Just say "not interested. Leave me alone". Can't be any clearer than that.

Yes, I am now. Not when I was younger but I’m hitting 40 this year and no longer care. That’s the thing, they rely on us being too “polite”. I’ve done it, and had them start escalating and getting nasty, but loudly saying “I’ve asked to be left alone please” usually draws enough attention to stop them.

My gym (which tbh is about 95% male members) has a very strict policy about this kind of thing. The rules are pretty clear, bother women in the gym and you’ll be escorted out the door, membership cancelled.

Absolute nonsense. So, in order to not "tempt" men at the gym you have to go looking like you've just rolled out of bed?-no makeup, greasy hair and baggy gym clothes otherwise you are just asking for it eh? what misogynistic BS.

Women can wear whatever they damn well like at the gym and they shouldnt be harrassed by men. End of. Plenty of men at my gym wear tight, tiny shorts- yet if they were hit on by gay men noone would be telling them its their own fault for wearing shorts.

@BeetleyCarapace love this! we need more staff like you in gyms x

That never worked for me, I'm older now and invisible. It doesn't work for my DC. Then of course if you don't report he will just move to pester the next woman.

Gym owners should be interested in their female customers being able to use the service without pestering. If they are not, we should vote with our wallets and use services which give a shit about their female customers.