dentists, do you judge patients?

[lilacsinspring1244]

This is a question for dentists.
I've booked an appointment for a check up tomorrow to see a dentist for the first time in four years. My teeth need some attention. A crown fell out in lockdown and a rear molar cracked about two months ago. I have an awful awful gag reflex and that's why I'm very very scared to go. I'm not scared of pain or the drill etc. My teeth have several fillings and I seemed to become more prone to cavities after being diagnosed with hashimotos (underactive thyroid). My teeth are clean and dentists in the past have always said I don't need to see a hygienist but I'm worried that this young 30 something dentist with a perfect smile (although mine looks fine on the surface) is secretly thinking my teeth are shit because I have several fillings and two cracked teeth.
Do you judge or feel repulsed by some patients?

and dental nurses/ dental hygienists too, would love to know what you think

Absolutely 100% never.

Last time I was in the waiting room, the dentist had the door open and I could hear every word she was saying to the current patient. Who was openly admitting to not brushing every day, eating sweets, drinking juice last thing at night, and not following any sort of after care after the last set of fillings and/or implants. He didn't even get an ounce of judgement and all that was wrong with him was totally preventable. So I think you'll be OK.

The people that are rude to the reception staff- yes, but for their treatment needs - never. It's more like looking at a problem and working out the solution.

I have similar fears but my dentist is always kind! She said last time that four years isn't a long time and not to worry. I don't know whether she is just lying to make me feel better but it does help me gather the courage to go back. I think if she had a go at me I probably would never go back ever again!

I put off going to the dentist for years , I have a mouthful of fillings from childhood and didn’t sleep for 2 nights before my appointment . I needed a tooth out at the back and a clean , there was absolutely no judgment and I can’t tell you the relief walking out of there and not worrying about my teeth . You won’t regret going .

I’m in the same boat OP, last dental appointment in 2019, the following six monthly appointment was cancelled due to lockdown. I need a filling so out of curiosity rang the dentist to see if I was still registered, I am and have an appointment next week.
Although it’s the same firm it’s in a different location with a different dentist, my old dentist knew my history: major reconstructive surgery to my lower jaw and all of the associated problems with my teeth. I’m hoping I won’t be judged.

I’m going to buck the trend. I went to one dentist in the hope of reducing the monthly payment plan. I paid the new patient fee and was met by a barrage from the dentist about how rubbish my teeth were and what needed doing. She took x rays I didn’t want and I had to pay extra for those. She seemed to be saying that I’d neglected my teeth and it was my fault. I go to the dentist every six months and always have done. No one has ever, before or since, been so rude and dismissive.

Karma though. DH who still goes there has had a message changing his next appointment because she’s no longer there, very suddenly. I think there must have been complaints. Rightly so. People have a right to be treated politely, especially when they’re paying a lot of money for the service.

Doubt it because it’s just business/money for them. They may be repulsed by people who never brush and have stinky breath and black teeth but that’s an extreme I’m sure they don’t see most days.

I’ve recently changed dentists due to the original one going completely private. The lady I see is so, so lovely. I’m embarrassed as I have crooked teeth and suffered from a lot of previous cavities, seems I’m quite prone to them despite having a great diet. The dentist was so lovely and it really upset her to hear how I felt about my teeth and being so embarrassed. The dentist was so caring and compassionate, she could see I fastidiously care for my teeth, I had zero plaque and have only been to a hygienist once in my life.

thank you! I'm going to style it out and be brave. It needs to be done!

I had not been for about 10 years. Not afraid just could not afford it!

Now I can (for a while) and she was very kind. In fact she said my teeth were ok (though many gaps etc.). She also explains everything to me which makes a visit better!

I started a thread in here a couple of years ago after I'd been for the first time in twenty years. I'm terrified of the dentist, I cried for five minutes before I even opened my mouth 🤦🏻‍♀️ They were so kind. Honest about what needed doing but not judgemental - I think the words were something along the lines of 'well there's a bit going on in there but nothing we can't fix'. I've had several appointments since and it gets slightly easier each time.

Not for needing treatment- that’s our job.
For being rude or uncooperative with our receptionists, yes. For not turning up for appointments, yes.

I hope they wouldn't dare when they haven't contacted us for appointments since before the first lockdown!!!

I didn't go for 11 years - from age 18 when I left home till 29 when I was pregnant with my second child. I was so scared. Only went because we were registering our first child and dh was similar to me so he said we should just bite the bullet and both go. Obviously he was right so I swallowed my fear and went. It was fine, three fillings and a cleaning. The relief was immense.

I've managed to keep going pretty regularly since.

I would hope a dentist, being a professional, would look into even the worst mouth and see only work that needs doing, much like a mechanic looking at a dinged-up car or a builder looking at a house in need of renovation. I imagine they see all sorts in training anyway so get inured!

Tips on dealing with your issue: www.dentalfearcentral.org/fears/gagging/

A good dentist does not judge no: www.dentalfearcentral.org/fears/embarrassment/

No we don’t judge your mouth
we are there to fix things and help you keep a healthy mouth I the future

however if you’re rude to my receptionist don’t turn up or persistently come late
or don’t pay / get stroppy about the cost or are generally unpleasant
then yes. You will be judged

but for your teeth no

Never, what you think is bad we will have seen worse. Most people are in this profession as they are caring and empathetic.

It's great you are going to the dentist and you have my full respect and admiration. You'll feel so much better once you've been.

I think the younger ones have much better patient skills. Some of the old school ones from my youth were absolutely awful but they’ve retired now!

Of course they judge. Every time I go to the dentist, they have something to say about how I 'need to clean my teeth better' and need to use the INTER DENTAL brushes' and floss, and spend at least 5 minutes cleaning my teeth 2 to 3 times a day And they take great pleasure in scraping a sugar grain sized bit of plaque off my teeth and poking it in my face, and showing me the error of my ways.

Daren't complain about being spoken to like a naughty child though, or mention the fact that dentists systematically fucked up the teeth of many people in the 1970s and 1980s by drilling and filling for cash, in case they boot me out, and I end up with no NHS dentist. 🙄 FML!

You only just checked - in 2023 - if you were still registered (after not going since 2019,) and you're still registered! You're incredibly fortunate. Most people I know were kicked off the dental patient list after 2 years with no appointment. (And covid was not allowed as an 'excuse.') To have gone 4 years and still be registered is amazingly fortunate.

I do clean my teeth FINE by the way. As well as is humanly possible. But they still complain. sigh..... They do it to most people I know. Must just be a habit.

They absolutely do judge! They might be kind, compassionate and sympathetic to you when you're in their office (which is what dentists call their surgery), but I can tell you - from doing lots of research with dentists - that they can be incredibly judgemental, even bitchy, about their patients.

My dentist is relatively new to me, and she has 'thawed' since I first went to see her, and chats to me like more of an equal, human being. But there's still the endless questions about how many times a day I brush, what toothbrush I use, do I floss, etc.

I suspect I might be of the same generation as you @HeavenIsAHalfpipe - we're known as the 'drill and fill' people. I'm pretty bitter about the fact that a lot of the fillings I now have in my mouth I may not really have needed.

@BIWI

I suspect I might be of the same generation as you @HeavenIsAHalfpipe - we're known as the 'drill and fill' people. I'm pretty bitter about the fact that a lot of the fillings I now have in my mouth I may not really have needed.

Yep, I know many people born before around mid 1960s to mid 1970s who have had the same experience.