dentists, do you judge patients?

[lilacsinspring1244]

This is a question for dentists.
I've booked an appointment for a check up tomorrow to see a dentist for the first time in four years. My teeth need some attention. A crown fell out in lockdown and a rear molar cracked about two months ago. I have an awful awful gag reflex and that's why I'm very very scared to go. I'm not scared of pain or the drill etc. My teeth have several fillings and I seemed to become more prone to cavities after being diagnosed with hashimotos (underactive thyroid). My teeth are clean and dentists in the past have always said I don't need to see a hygienist but I'm worried that this young 30 something dentist with a perfect smile (although mine looks fine on the surface) is secretly thinking my teeth are shit because I have several fillings and two cracked teeth.
Do you judge or feel repulsed by some patients?

I had a real dental phobia after being treated by some horrible ones as a kid and hadn’t seen one for over a decade.

I eventually caved and had to after a sequence of issues left my already poor teeth in such a state I hated meeting clients, even on zoom calls, I was so self conscious about them.

My dentist is the least judgemental person I know. I was freaking out and apologising for my teeth when I first got in the chair and he just smiled and said he was sure it was nowhere near as bad as I said and if it was well hey, he likes a project 😀He is gradually fixing the issues with zero judgement and completely transforming my smile one step at a time. My teeth are already looking better than they ever have and he is so chuffed with the progress and how happy it’s making me, I now actually look forward to going!

Worse, being a 'drill and fill' 'survivor' - when I was a child, having fillings, they used to drill teeth without any anaesthetic. No wonder so many of us don't like going to the dentist!

I had to have a filling replaced last week, as it had broken. Two painless injections into the gums. A quick drill, re-filled with white rather than black (which I paid more for) and it was all over. Nothing to fear at all. But my heart rate (and no doubt my blood pressure!) was through the roof, as I kept waiting for it to hurt. All because of the way I experienced fillings as a child.

When I was a student in halls, there was a dental student on the same floor as me. She said she did judge people by the state of their teeth. I kept out of her way after that.
Hopefully she's grown up since then.
I've said before mostly the the damage happens in childhood when you've less control over your diet and access to toothbrushes and so on. And of course you have to pay for the neglect emotionally as well as with cash in later life.

No never and i really don't think any professional would. I work in prisons and do a lot of domiciliary care and have seen everything. Would never ever judge. We are there to help and care not judge.

Not sure if it's a dental term but I heard my dentist tell the dental nurse I had
'gross decay'i didn't take that as a compliment.
Why the need for 'gross'!

@lilacsinspring1244 Most of my dentists in the recent past have been great, I was really sorry when one went private because she was fabulous, really understanding and kind.
I actually laughed when my current dentist asked if I had ever smoked. The answer being 'no' and the reason I was never tempted to smoke? Because I had such bad experiences with my teeth as a young child that I knew by the time I was a tween I knew I had to take medical advice seriously.

No I don't think they'd judge at all and would just be pleased that you're now seeking treatment.

It's just a description of the size of the decay, not an insult.

Absolutely don't judge you. Sometimes an eye roll when a patient is surprised that something can't be fixed because it's been left a long time. But there's been a pandemic, and dentist appointments are like hens teeth as well as patients are having to save up. So I have nothing but compassion for my patients. Even the grumpy and rude ones.

It's not how long you leave between appointments, it's what's been going on.

I cry my eyes out even just having a routine checkup as I’ve somehow developed a crippling fear of the dentist that I never had as a child. I’ve caught the dentist rolling his eyes at me before but I literally can’t help it!

I did a runner from the dentist when I was a kid. She had a huge go at me about not brushing my teeth well and I legged it out the door.

I still go to the same surgery although obviously not to the same dentist who is probably dead now (fingers crossed 😁).

But I have a deep seated fear of what the dentist is really thinking of me deep down. And I sometimes see that same door I legged it out of in 1989 and think about doing the same thing.

As @BIWI says, the days of drilling and filling were shit, with dentists giving treatment for £££ (whether it was needed or not,) and some being bloody rude and obnoxious along with it. They would NEVER be questioned. Or critisized.

I also of a number of people, now around 52 to 65-ish who had teeth EXTRACTED, as many as 4 to 6 teeth, adult ones, (in the 1970s and 1980s,) as they were allegedly 'diseased.' They swear down that there was nothing wrong with them. I believe them.

I have always said that I would have much better teeth if I had never gone to a dentist. I mean they're all right at first glance, and my smile is OK. Not a Hollywood style, but OK. But I only have 23 teeth left, and 3 of them are crowns, and 4 further ones are filled.

I used to have about another 8 filled but they are no longer filled teeth. They are either no longer there (after needing extracting,) because they turned to shit - because they were old fillings and the fillings broke down after 30 years or so.... OR they became crowns. I also had 3 or 4 teeth extracted in my teens. I still don't know why.

I never met a nice dentist til I was about 25-28 y.o. - mid 1990s. And that was a 26 year old woman. Freshly qualified. Since then, dentists have been OK, (indeed most are really quite affable,) and the injections and drilling etc are much less painful now. Indeed almost pain free. There is no need whatsoever to be scared now. But yeah, I do still find them a bit judgy, and find it a bloomin' cheek when the reasons for some peoples 'dental issues' are the fault of the dentists pre mid 1980s.

I have to say I hugely envy the generation after me - born after mid 1980s. My (adult) children, and their many friends and colleagues and acquaintances who are all born after mid 1980s too, all have good, nice, and pretty perfect teeth. Even the ones who were born with 'wonky' teeth had them corrected. And they hardly have any fillings. A few have one, many have none. And no extractions.

This happened to my mum, she was just a teenager, it was the late 60s. The dentist took 8 teeth out, her parents hit the roof and ended up suing him, but too late. Lifelong crippling dental phobia and she passed it on to us children, despite trying hard not to.

I didn't actually know it was widespread and had happened to others too! She is the same age. How awful :(

I had 4 teeth out, when I was about 14-15. One from the top, left. One from the top, right. One from the bottom, left. One from the bottom, right.

Because apparently I needed room for my wisdom teeth to come through. In the end, only one of those did actually come through. I have no idea if this was true/warranted - I don't think X-rays were taken in those days though.

All I remember is being really ill from the anaesthetic, as it was all done under general.

@HeavenIsAHalfpipe
That's interesting reading.
Another suspicion of mine is that it would have been very easy to drill and fill children we might consider vulnerable today, again no questions asked.

My new dentist is lovely, very professional & a kind person and explains everything.

She does I suspect judge my Coke Zero habit which has caused acid erosion leading to me having some fillings but she says she thinks I'm going in the right direction as I've cut down from 5 even 6 cans a day to max 2.

Actually quite disturbed to read even more examples of dodgy dentists pre mid 1980s. As a pp said, way more widespread than many think. I think someone should start some kind of compensation scheme. But it would be hard to prove that dentists drilled and filled and extracted teeth when nothing was wrong. Would be their word against ours. Would the old files even be there? Old X-rays and scans etc - from the 1960s to 1980s - to 'prove' nothing was wrong? Very likely destroyed now.

Again, NO judgement on today's dentists. No complaints about any dentist from mid 1990s onwards (from me...) And as I said, the treatment/ injections/ drilling etc etc is pretty much pain free these days.

I agree! But the pain and trauma from childhood is pretty hard to forget

My dc’s dentist is pretty brutal with her words. Perhaps it’s because my dc are teens -but all clean their teeth, don’t eat too badly and have regular checkups.
Two out of three of my dc regularly come out crying about what she’s said-none have any fillings. Perhaps it her way of scaring them into looking after their teeth!

So true. There have been a few harrowing tales on here. And I bet some people have many more @BIWI 💓

It’s a dental term. It means the tooth is really badly decayed and usually that it will need to come out.Patients know when their tooth is that badly decayed as it will have a large hole.

If you can, choose a dentist with a good reputation for being kind to nervous patients. I'm not particularly nervous but do have some sensitivity and they have it in their notes to put numbing gel on my gums. I'd asked for that - so don't be afraid to ask for what you need to feel comfortable.

I also did have one of those 1980s dentists myself unfortunately, he was a children's dentist and very kind, which is why my mum liked him. However he retired in the late 2000s, so probably trained in the 1960s and was very much drill and fill, though no extractions for me. I had so many fillings in primary school! And I think about 3-5 adult teeth filled. I'm really nervous about them as I get older - I hope they won't cause problems.

My sister was luckier I think and just had braces, she has nice teeth. Mine are a bit of a mess but I refuse to have anything cosmetic done. Medical necessity only.

I’m a specialist paediatric dentist. I have seen the most awful cases of dental neglect that you can imagine, and regularly take out hundreds of teeth a week under general anaesthetic. However, I never ever judge the parents THE FIRST TIME ROUND. I truly understand how difficult life can be, with family issues, money issues, jobs, childcare upbringing, different opinions on health etc.

HOWEVER - I often see the same families, bringing in multiple child over the years, or the same child for their second/third general anaesthetic for more teeth out - and it makes me so sad. I spend so long giving specific and simple advice, with easy ways to follow that will have very little impact on daily life and routine - and when it is just ignored time and time again, it’s very demoralising. It’s also heartbreaking to see the same children coming back over and over, in agony, missed school, sleepless nights / because parents have chosen to ignore advice that will shape their child’s future - in terms of dental phobia, dental health, self-esteem, appearance etc.