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Do I sacrifice my job? Not sure what to do?

39 replies

SamSmithsGoldenShower · 01/03/2023 21:59

Back story: I have struggled with developing my career for my whole adult life. I have a university degree, have always worked for large well known global companies, but due to lack of confidence, business acumen, lack of initiative, inability to prioritise & go above and beyond I never excelled or progressed in my roles. I stayed in each for 4+ years, but just kind of ticked along struggling and doing the minimum while I watched my co-workers excel, earn promotions, move across brands / new areas of the business, and take on senior roles. I felt so down about myself. I always wondered what was wrong with me and why I had to work 10x harder to achieve a fraction of what they did.

Fast forward many years and it turns out I have ADHD. 

This explains so much. I started medication in the summer and since then it has made a MASSIVE difference in my productivity and confidence. About a year and a half ago I took a side step and moved into a new role in a new department within the same company. I was floundering in my previous role. Upon moving into the new role I was moved down a job grade (I really had no choice - it was that or leave the business) but my pay stayed the same. My pay is crap compared to almost everyone else I know given their age, experience and etc. I make approx £32k (less 20% because I only work 4 days a week after our second child was born) and live down south.

Here's my issue: my husband is very bitter at the fact that I do not make 'enough' money. He runs his own business from home and brings in £100k+ He often mentions how X's wife is only 32 (I'm 40) and makes £65k, or points out I make the same salary as a 25yr old. (I've taken home the same pay for roughly 15years) He's annoyed that my income doesn't 'make a dent' towards our living costs, and 'everything is on him'.

I am really doing well in my career with the help of my ADHD medication now and have found a role that I love and am excelling in. My boss and team are always praising me for how well I'm doing, and I'm actively trying to develop my role so I can progress into a more senior role with better pay within my company. Ideally I would like to gain enough skills that I would feel confident that I could hold my own and excel in a similar senior role in another company and hopefully move up in pay again.

My role requires me to be in the office / or at another location when needed. This could be 0 days a week for 1-2 weeks and then 2-4 days another week. Every week can be different. Very occasionally overnight travel is required. Maybe 1-2 nights every few months. One of the things my ADHD self loves about my job is that there's always a new project on the go and I'm kept on my toes working on / leading exciting projects. This can mean that more falls on my husband to manage if I'm not home. So while he works for himself running his business and he ultimately answers to himself he deals with supplier calls, paperwork and the general running of the business. He is also very hands on with the children and does morning drop-off's / pickups for one (sometimes both) while I do the other. I am often on calls during the afternoon pickup so he does those more frequently than I do.

He is always getting frustrated with me saying I need to make more money, but basically expects me to either quit and walk into an external role at double my current salary, or that I can somehow just demand a pay rise at work and get a significant amount (like 50% more) without putting in the effort or proving my worth and that I deserve it. Essentially he wants me to make at least 50%+ more income without putting in any additional work. When I explain to him that the work I'm doing and projects I'm working on will hopefully contribute to some career progression (my boss is well aware that I want to progress and move up a grade) he's not accepting of it and says it takes away from his ability to run his business.

Some of his issues with my role are really quite silly. He can find an issue with EVERYTHING and will always tie it back and justifies his anger to the fact my pay is shit.

I feel like I'm not explaining this very well. But an example from this evenings argument was when I reminded him that I had to be in the office next week the same day he is meant to be out all day for work. We only have 1 car so I was hoping he could drop me off on his way. When I raised this he flipped out at me and claimed he didn't realise I would be at work the same day / time he needed to be. He did know. It's on the calendar and I've discussed it with him. I explained I would need to be in the office by 9:30am to meet a senior stakeholder who was visiting from overseas. He threw this back in my face saying that I'd ruined his plans and he would have to cancel them because we would need someone to pick up the children and then started yelling saying that the senior stakeholder I was due to meet probably didn't even make £150k-£200k a year (seriously why does it matter?) I tried to tell him that he didn't have to cancel his plans and that I could be flexible on the time I returned home, but I needed to be there by 9:30am. He said it just wasn't possible for him to do a drop off and then rush home and get ready and leave the house again. Said my office is too much of a detour for him (it's only a 15 min detour). I told him it wasn't as big a deal he was making it out to be and that I will take the train both ways and would be home to collect the children).

I know this is long. I'm sorry! I just don't know what to do. He puts me down and gets angry and says that I give off the impression to everyone we know that my job is really prestigious and that my job title implies I'm very senior and make a lot of money so people think I earn more and contribute more to the family than I do. He gets me so down and makes me feel so shit about me wanting to work to advance my career so that I can bring in more income, contribute more and hopefully not be so reliant on him for covering the costs of things I spend / want to spend on for myself I don't know what to do. Do I give up my career and just look for something simple and basic. He says I make as much as a supermarket worker, but even if I gave up my current job which would mean no overnight travel, and went to work at a basic job like in a supermarket I would still be required to be out of the house everyday with less flexibility than my current job. It's a lose lose situation. Basically he wants me to be able to work from home, double my salary and have lots of flexibility and be able to drop what I'm doing at a moments notice to accommodate him.

What do I do!?!?

OP posts:
SamSmithsGoldenShower · 01/03/2023 22:04

Good Lord. I'm sorry. That was long Confused Don't know if anyone will even get to the end... Blush

OP posts:
Bythehairywartsonmywitchychin · 01/03/2023 22:07

You have a husband problem. LTB.

värskekapsas · 01/03/2023 22:09

32K for 4 days a week is a good salary.I feel that his problem is not even your pay, but he just wants to feel superior. He needs a reality check. granted he is on a good salary but thats not how most of the country lives. He should be happy that you are enjoying your job and feel that it is interesting for you and challenging in a good way. Sounds very tough :( no advise really, just wanted to emphasise with you.

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salutsandy · 01/03/2023 22:14

He earns more than enough already, your joint income is high. He sounds unsupportive. I hope he's doing half of all the housework (and 'lifework') to make the demands he does on you.

I wonder if you have different values- he's more money oriented.

WomanFromTheNorth · 01/03/2023 22:15

Your husband is an arsehole with status anxiety. He won't get any better. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person?

SamSmithsGoldenShower · 01/03/2023 22:20

värskekapsas · 01/03/2023 22:09

32K for 4 days a week is a good salary.I feel that his problem is not even your pay, but he just wants to feel superior. He needs a reality check. granted he is on a good salary but thats not how most of the country lives. He should be happy that you are enjoying your job and feel that it is interesting for you and challenging in a good way. Sounds very tough :( no advise really, just wanted to emphasise with you.

£32K is the annual full time salary. When I went back at 4 days it meant I now take home roughly £27K if I recall correctly.

OP posts:
Housefullofcatsandkids · 01/03/2023 22:22

It's your job not his, he has no right to tell you what you should be doing or what you should be earning. He sounds like a dick and is definitely far too preoccupied with other people's wages for his own good. Not an attractive quality, I'd be considering a change of husband rather than a change of career.

Mischance · 01/03/2023 22:25

Do you have enough money between you to live reasonably comfortably? If so, your OH has a problem. Most people would be content with that and count themselves lucky.

I could not live with someone with this kind of mindset. He needs a kick up the pants.

nocoolnamesleft · 01/03/2023 22:31

Does your husband always undermine and sabotage you like this?

SamSmithsGoldenShower · 01/03/2023 22:34

Thank you to all of you who managed to make it to the end of that and replied. To answer a few questions:

Husband does do a lot for the children. Lots of pick ups, drop off, attends most of older child's school matches (I do not - I'm often on calls / busy working), takes older child to their extra curricular activities etc while I stay home with the other and make dinner.

He does put a very high value on monetary things. I will admit I like nice things too, and am quite fashion oriented. But I buy what I can afford with the portion of my salary I'm able to keep for myself. He sees money as a status symbol (although he claims to not like flashy things and people living beyond their means) but likes to drive Audi's or BMW's, has a particular hobby that is very expensive, insists the children go to private school (personally I do agree that it is best for them because they got lost in the public system), and lots of other nice things. And yes I will admit I do enjoy them as well. But I'm always made to feel like I don't have a say or my opinion isn't valued during an argument because the money issue is always brought up and thrown back in my face no matter what the subject of the argument is.

He is often verbally and emotionally abusive to me, which is also why I'm so determined to advance my career and pay, so I could at least afford to live if I had to leave him. My adhd results in impulsivity and I am terrible with money. I have no savings, so could not afford to live if I separated from him now. I want to be able to have a career I know I could support myself with and my children without really struggling.

OP posts:
SamSmithsGoldenShower · 01/03/2023 22:40

nocoolnamesleft · 01/03/2023 22:31

Does your husband always undermine and sabotage you like this?

Often yes. He is always right and I am wrong. He's a good person he says. Just trying to do what's best for the family. He hates when my plans get in the way of his and throws it back in my face and almost always bringing my low income and how little I contribute into the argument even if it has nothing at all to do with said argument.

He's not happy if I go out to dinner with friends.

He's not happy if I go out for a post work meal with my team

He's not happy if I'm away from home due to a mandatory training course.

He's not happy if I'm on work phone calls when he needs me

He's not happy if I need to be in the office or away from home meeting a client.

Literally I feel like nothing I do will ever make him happy or satisfied.

OP posts:
UpUpAndAwol · 01/03/2023 22:40

Maybe he’s actually panicking that you’re doing well and are on the up career wise since taking the adhd medication. Perversely it sounds like he wants to sabotage your potential to earn more. Wonder why?

Jux · 01/03/2023 22:41

He is your basic problem. You could earn a million a week and he would still pick holes in you for something. What he seems to want is for you to fail; if you do, he'll feel nicely superior, can walk around being the King and making sure everyone knows you're a dreadful flake but he's sooooo patient and soooo kind and generous to you.

LadyWithLapdog · 01/03/2023 22:41

Is your DH in debt? Two kids at private schools, expensive cars etc, are quite a strain on finances. Maybe that’s why he’s a dick about money.

topcat2014 · 01/03/2023 22:43

He's being a knob. I earn 70k and my DW does some PT cleaning for 3k. We have never considered this a problem.

tryingabitharder · 01/03/2023 22:44

Oh dear. I have ADHD too, diagnosed in my 40s.

My (now ex) DH treated me in the same way you have just described. There are a lot of overlaps with the damage having undiagnosed ADHD does to you and with trauma, which can lead to shitty relationship decisions/ lack of confidence. Basically, CPTSD/ ADHD / depression/ crappy life circumstances clusterfuck is pretty common. But hard won and with the appearance of everything being Fine.

My exH needed to feel superior all the time and hated my successes, but I was also a drain on his ability to be successful because all the stress of our income was on him (but he'd sabotage me being able to work) and he'd be so fucking stroppy if I did something that made me happy or inconvenienced him in some way.

Makes me really sad to hear the same shit happening to someone else.

4 years later and I am mostly happier, have my career back but I only see my kids just under 50% and was the one that had to move out. I am actually hate him but at least my kids don't see me being criticized and suppressed by him any more.

SamSmithsGoldenShower · 01/03/2023 22:46

UpUpAndAwol · 01/03/2023 22:40

Maybe he’s actually panicking that you’re doing well and are on the up career wise since taking the adhd medication. Perversely it sounds like he wants to sabotage your potential to earn more. Wonder why?

He says he wants me to do well and supports me. There are things he has supported me with, but my undiagnosed ADHD often meant I never followed through.

He wants me to be my own boss and earn a passive income. Says I need to align myself with the right people (but how the hell am I meant to meet these 'right' (business savvy well to do people who I can benefit from knowing) people?

The other day we somehow got talking about life and careers in general he asked me if I could go back and change one thing what would it be. I said I would go back in time so I could get diagnosed with ADHD years and years ago so my career didn't suffer. He told me that's no excuse and that everyone is a little ADHD and struggles with that and that I can't blame all my problems on ADHD and that it's a cop out.

He doesn't believe ADHD is a real thing that has impacted my life so negatively. He just thinks I've been lazy and should have focused more and that my struggles have been my fault Confused

OP posts:
tryingabitharder · 01/03/2023 22:47

And while I was trying to keep that short you have added even more examples of what sounds like my old life, OP. Honestly, he sounds like a dick.

FetchezLaVache · 01/03/2023 22:47

I'm so determined to advance my career and pay, so I could at least afford to live if I had to leave him

Very, very sensible, OP. He sounds vile.

Brightshinylight · 01/03/2023 22:48

Either he is a complete arse or there a bigger problem your DH is not telling you? He is being completely unreasonable and hung up on you making more money.

Literally I feel like nothing I do will ever make him happy or satisfied.
Stop trying to make him happy, he is responsible for his happiness. Right now he is behaving like an abusive bully.

My adhd results in impulsivity and I am terrible with money. I have no savings, You need to sort this out and get some savings behind you to back up any exit strategy you might need.

Labraradabrador · 01/03/2023 22:48

Trying to make your husband’s case better than he has (and not trying to justify piss poor communication), your job contributes approx 20% of income but requires significant accommodation from your partner. I would also be frustrated if on top of providing 80% of income I also had to be completely flexible around my spouse and regularly pick up extra childcare and household responsibilities. If genders were reversed, I think most readers would take issue.

not advocating you to leave your job, but are there other ways you can take pressures off him? Things like breakfast club or after school care regardless of whether you need it every week. outsourcing cleaning, cooking, etc.

he also has a point (maybe muddled / poorly construed) that you could probably get a significant pay rise if you moved companies, depending on the market in your sector. If you genuinely want to progress, you will do that more quickly by looking externally. That said, if you like your current set up, that is worth something as well.

HundredMilesAnHour · 01/03/2023 22:50

LadyWithLapdog · 01/03/2023 22:41

Is your DH in debt? Two kids at private schools, expensive cars etc, are quite a strain on finances. Maybe that’s why he’s a dick about money.

I thought the same. £100k+ isn't enough to support this lifestyle unless it's really £100k+++++. Sounds like he's cracking under the pressure and is tired of everything depending on him. He does, however, also sound abusive and that won't change no matter what the OP does.

tryingabitharder · 01/03/2023 22:51

Omg. Are you married to my ex? He doesn't believe in my diagnosis either.

Pretty sure both our kids have it too. I can't manage to push through on diagnosis for them as he is so against it, and I hate that they struggle so much at school (inattentive type) as they don't cause any trouble. Just lonely and sad children. Who are hilarious and wonderful and kind and just need to tackle the world a bit differently.

Op, you can live a better life without him dragging your spirit down.

Serrassi · 01/03/2023 22:51
  1. You love your job and want to keep it. That’s reasonable, good luck to you.
  2. Your husband is being horrible to you, basically. It’s not for him to tell you what to do with your career and he certainly shouldn’t be shouting at you. He sounds very controlling and contemptuous.
  3. Would regular childcare for the school runs, or doing early bird club help at all? I can see that if you’re both working hard it’s tricky fitting in school runs.

Whatever happens, he has no right to be mean to you. He could raise any concerns in a loving calm way and clearly he is not doing that.

PinkertonRab · 01/03/2023 22:55

Your husband does sound like a dick in terms of being verbally and emotionally abusive so you.

In terms of the first issue re pay, I am in a similar situation to your DH and do understand some of the frustration.

I earn double what DH earns yet when it comes to childcare and all the running around, it always falls to me as his job is less flexible. I feel like he just expects me to pick up the home life. I find it frustrating because if I’m missing meetings or late, or look like I’m taking the piss and my company decides to sack me then we’re screwed as I’m the breadwinner. Yet he still prioritises his own job and progression.

I’m not saying this is the same situation and for other reasons you’ve shared you’re probably better off not being with him. But if he’s supporting the family financially as well as picking up the bulk of home duties and you’re not good with money, could it be this that’s causing the arguments?