DNephew says he’ll join the Army

[ItsCalledAConversation]

Hi all, advice and opinions please.
DNephew is 16, an affable lad, slow starter as in just made a group of friends after several years gaming/ hanging round the village with just one friend, due to sit GCSE’s later this spring.
He is doing nothing for this. Revision can’t really begin because he hasn’t finished a lot of coursework, doesn’t know/understand much of the content for most subjects. Exams and the results look like they’ll be a total wash-out.
My problem is, he says it “doesn’t matter” (exams mean nothing) and he will “just join the army” if he doesn’t get the results required for college. Personally this choice fills me with horror, but it’s his life. Realistically I’m looking for factual reasons to put him off this awful waste of his life.
The question I’m asking is this. What is it like joining the army as unqualified at 16? What will his cohort be like? What training/experiences are they put through? How bad is the bullying? How quickly are they shipped out as cannon fodder? Are there any routes to qualification/advancement at all? How long anre you contracted in for? Any experiences that you can share are much appreciated.

@ItsCalledAConversation The way I look at it, my experience at such a young age 100% moulded me into the adult I am now. If I wasn’t there, I’d have been either signing on, or working a menial job I hated.
Instead, I got the qualifications I managed to fuck up in civilian education, I was earning a very good wage for someone of that age, I was learning valuable life skills alongside all the military stuff that will continue to benefit me forever….I can also still do an impressive amount of press ups 🤷🏻‍♀️😂😂
Obviously it’s not all sunshine and rainbows and “great life experience”. Some of it was fucking horrific, and altered my brain chemistry forever, but at the end of the day, I knew going into it that those things were potentially going to be part of my job, and I made my peace with that.

This ^^

If he’s too lazy to even finish GCSE coursework then I can’t see the Amey accepting him.

I suggest you take him to an Army Recruiting Office and sit there with him asking lots of questions about the fitness training and are exams helpful etc etc and try to get the conversation to impress on him that the Army is hard work. Famous for it in fact.

I don’t think he’ll really join though. I think he’s just going to sit around lazing until something forces him to stop 😔

@Ringmaster27 altered your brain chemistry? How so, that sounds fascinating and also quite scary.

@Serrassi you could be right (he’s too lazy) but he works hard at his Saturday job and he’s saving to buy a car, so he will do stuff, just not stuff connected to school or GCSEs!

Why do you think its a "waste of his life"? Do you realise how ignorant and insulting you sound?
It's true they don't take just anyone, although some of these lazy entitled youths could do with a bit of army discipline!!
Yes it's tough but they have to learn to work as a a team, it could save their lives in a combat zone . My son joined at 16, was wise enough to join one of the trades (his gcse results weren't brilliant but he met the criteria) he absolutely loved it, travelled the world and yes he served 3 tours of duty, served for 15 years, left as a sergeant with a large golden handshake.
If your nephew is set on joining the army he needs to change his attitude big time or he won't have a snowballs chance in hell

Realistically I’m looking for factual reasons to put him off this awful waste of his life.

Do you mean his dossing around is a waste of his life or his joining up is a waste of life? I guess the latter.
How sad that your nephew has got something he wants to do and you’re trying to stop him. Do you interfere with and criticise all your relations?

The US Army did a study on this a few years ago and found that 77% of Americans in the target age range were ineligible for one reason or another. It's likely similar for the British Army.

Even More Young Americans Are Unfit to Serve, a New Study Finds. Here's Why.

I also despair at the attitude that any warm body would be welcome in the military. It's one reason why some people are so dismissive of military service and those who perform it.

When I was horrified at some of the stories my brother had when he first joined he said “how can you take a (physical) beating from the other side if you can’t take one from your own?”

in a perverse way it made sense.

the army shouldn’t be the last choice on someone’s list of careers and they will spot and hoik out the ones who treat it that way

@ItsCalledAConversation Lots of different things. None of which I’ll ever talk about in detail, but I’m sure you can connect the dots. It’s a career choice where you know you are potentially going to encounter awful things - seeing other people injured/killed, risk of those things happening to you, even certain cultural practices I encountered really rattled me in a way that’s difficult to describe. Your training prepares you for the practicalities of those scenarios, but no amount of training can take away the shock value - which in my experience doesn’t hit until afterwards, when you’re sat in the quiet and the enormity of it all dawns.

I also despair at the attitude that any warm body would be welcome in the military. It's one reason why some people are so dismissive of military service and those who perform it.

This is so true. There’s a real snobbishness about military service - after all, it’s full of thickos who kill people for a living. Grunts in a uniform who can’t make a decision and rely on someone telling them what to do every day.

They fail to realise how the modern forces work; yes of course there are lower ranks who may not have the academic knowledge that others do, but they are highly skilled and many achieve practical and then some academic qualifications. It’s a team, the forces are a gestalt - no man works alone, you are better together.

I’m ex military (not Army) but my family were all Army. I joined to do a professional training (clinical) but even so it was drummed into us we were the chosen few. 30 of us accepted into my intake from about 400 applicants. Certainly not any old div.

I left donkeys years ago, but have never not got a job I applied for and truly believe my military service sets me apart from others. You learn resilience, integrity, loyalty, teamwork, diligence and pride. You do things and you do them well.

I am still in touch with friends I joined up with 30 years ago. They’re like family.

I know nothing about the armed forces- however I know a LOT of teens who declare they will 'join the army ' which is actually an immature kind of code for -

I am sick of education, I am struggling being a teenager, the after effects of lockdown are huge, my peers are almost all depressed/anxious/going missing/self harming, why is every conversation with every adult always about My Future, just give me a break.

I never say they are wrong but just gently try and encourage keeping their options open.

At the end of the day if they have a warm and safe home and one or two loving adults in their life, a phase spent drifting or not working hard, will not make or break their life.

I am in the thick of parenting teens so I can't say if this approach actually works though! Ask me in 10 years time!! But try not to worry.

They fail to realise how the modern forces work; yes of course there are lower ranks who may not have the academic knowledge that others do, but they are highly skilled and many achieve practical and then some academic qualifications.

Exactly. There's no room for people who are unable or unwilling to learn complex tasks. As an example, 700 experienced Ukrainian armor branch soldiers just finished a course on how to operate the American Bradley IFV. These were the best and the brightest. How hard could it be to drive a vehicle and fire it's weapons? The course took 5 weeks, 12 hours a day, six days a week. And that's for a greatly condensed course.

Young recruits are required to continue their education including maths and English if they don't have the relevant qualifications. It's certainly not an easy option but suits some young people. My dd went through a different programme (officer) and loves the life