i've had massive shock on ancestry tree.

[stripedsox]

Just discovered after 20 years of research - quite by accident- that my paternal grandmother murdered my grandfather whilst temporily insane. They had six young children who went into care as a result.
My parents split when I was young and mum didn't know much about dad's parents except he and his siblings were cared for by three sets adoptive parents.
His adoptive parents were at their wedding but it was all kept hushed.
Mum and dad died within a couple of years of each other and I was none the wiser. It's probable mum never knew as she said she'd never met dad's birth parents which was a bit strange.
I'm just so shook up about this, it was bad enough to find a great grand uncle was murdered in the 1820's and a 1st cousin murdered his young nephw in 1780.
This too close to home, thanks for reading, I feel a bit better for writing this down.

Aw I’m sorry to hear that, it must be a huge shock to you. Just remember this has no bearing on you or the memory of your dad. X

You have my sympathies, these things are a huge shock to find out, even when they happened long ago. I had a similar feeling when I sent away for an ancestor's death certificate, and when it arrived I read it and discovered that the cause of death was murder. It does make you feel very disconcerted.

Thank you for your kind words, at least I live near my grandfather's grave on the isle of Wight where it happened so can lay flowers. Never even knew where he was buried until this evening.

That must have been a massive shock, I'm not surprised you're feeling so shaken by it. My thoughts are with you 💐

Did your grandmother then spend her life in jail?

Oh how shocking. How old was your dad when it happened? Do you think he knew what had gone on?

Sorry about your discovery, it must be shocking. Please be kind in your thoughts to your grandmother, in her days mental health support was non existent so in a way she was a victim too. Are there any relatives alive who remember them?

If you'd like to know more, I can help. I'm very good on the online search engines, have all the subscriptions etc.

@stripedsox not quite on the same level, but I think my mother felt similarly when she found out that her husband was economical with the truth when it came to his WWII prison sentence. He wasn’t framed and exonerated, he actually went AWOL, served his sentence then was sent back to a post where he was unlikely to go AWOL again. But because desertion wasn’t a good look, he edited his history to a more palatable one.

I'm sure this is nothing other than a very kind offer.

However I'd just like to warn the OP against handing over personal information to a stranger on the internet.

Especially as things like 'Paternal/Maternal grandmother's name' etc, often form part of security questions.

How do you know she was ‘temporarily insane’? Maybe some male at the time wrote that as women had no rights and they couldn’t be arsed writing ‘he constantly bashed the shit out of her and one day she snapped’. Women were expected to take a lot and if they answered back/fought back would generally be shipped off to ‘lunatic asylums’ often complete with lobotomies etc.

Did your grandmother then spend her life in jail?

If she was found insane at trial she won't have gone to prison, but somewhere like Broadmoor. She may have been released at some point if it was a case of temporary insanity as OP says.

It must be a shock to discover this out of the blue and a close relationship. If you do want to find out more there will be records out there, but maybe only releasable to direct family depending on dates.

Women were expected to take a lot and if they answered back/fought back would generally be shipped off to ‘lunatic asylums’ often complete with lobotomies etc.

Lobotomy aside, better a lunatic asylum than the hangman's noose which would the fate of a woman who killed without being declared insane.

@BagOfBollocks I am a professional genealogist. I have a website, Facebook page that the OP could check. I have a privacy policy etc.

I am just offering some assistance . No ulterior motive. Not even a financial one! I just like doing this sort of thing

What a shock that must have been for you OP.
I recently found out that my family history wasn't what we had always believed. Nothing on that scale though. Still a massive shock which took me a while to process.

Like PPs have said, be kind to your Grandmother's memory. Going to lay flowers for your Grandfather is a lovely thing to do.

That is very dramatic shock! It does give you more to explore. I would be researchiing which institution your grandmother went to and how she fared there.
Mental health was very misunderstood until quite recently.
How nice for the children to be protected and cared for.
I wonder if any of them witnessed the event or if any of your cousins have had memories passed on from parents, memories of which you were unaware. Amazing.

I read that before forensic testing, poisoning of husbands was quite common. A wife would slip something into a meal to quietly murder an abusive man. Since they were likely to be destitute following it, they had to be absolutely desperate.
Sad times.

That was my first thought too....

I'm sorry, OP, what a shock for you - and you can't discuss it with your parents. I understand what it's like to process things like this alone as I learned something similar-ish about my family and decided not to tell my siblings. It has made me think it's true that 'the past is another country'. You can't truly understand events or your ancestors even though things that happened to them really shake you.

What a shock to have, I understand how you might feel disconcerted. Presumably this was in the 40' or 50' s, and very close to home. A few generation's back and it might have been intriguing. I am so sorry.

That was my first thought. She's been a domestic abuse victim and finally snapped.
Op have you any idea when it happened, it night be worth looking for court records.

oh wow op, that’s a huge thing to light upon unexpectedly! I’m sorry you’ve had such a shock.

No intention to disparage your grandfather but I have to say, I’d be taking everything you read about your grandmother with a pinch of salt because statistically, it does seem quite likely that the murder happened in the context of a relationship that was violent in other ways.

British Newspaper Archive would be my next stop in your situation.

Maybe he was a violent man, beating her and the children. It was an oppressive time for women.

Yes! I bet it made the news. A news article may even give more details about your grandparents.