i've had massive shock on ancestry tree.

[stripedsox]

Just discovered after 20 years of research - quite by accident- that my paternal grandmother murdered my grandfather whilst temporily insane. They had six young children who went into care as a result.
My parents split when I was young and mum didn't know much about dad's parents except he and his siblings were cared for by three sets adoptive parents.
His adoptive parents were at their wedding but it was all kept hushed.
Mum and dad died within a couple of years of each other and I was none the wiser. It's probable mum never knew as she said she'd never met dad's birth parents which was a bit strange.
I'm just so shook up about this, it was bad enough to find a great grand uncle was murdered in the 1820's and a 1st cousin murdered his young nephw in 1780.
This too close to home, thanks for reading, I feel a bit better for writing this down.

Are you a member of the IOW family history FB group?
There are lots of people on there that have information about different families on the Island

Also, the family records office in Newport are a brilliant source of information. You can visit them and search their records

Ah what a shock. I'd take note of what PP said. Don't assume you know the full story - they don't describe things how they would these days.

Yes British Newspaper Archive would be one of my next steps. Was there press coverage, a trial? Was she convicted and/or committed into an asylum - do you have their death certificates?

Is there any chance your Mum knew but kept quiet to protect your Dad? Was your Dad aware or had he been kept in the dark as a child? So many questions OP.

I'm sorry that this has come as such a shock. Usually, with the best endeavours to keep something quiet, 'rumours' and gossip circulate. But perhaps it happened during wartime and got lost in the daily round of tragedy and death?

The fact you were blissfully unaware is both sad but also a testament to how life went on and a family gathered round to look after your Dad and his siblings. You say your Mum and Dad split up early on - did your Dad remain in your life?

Obviously, when digging into the past, there is the sense we are looking for these 'shocking' skeletons but that minimises the impact that these discoveries can have. I hope you can find out more so that you can properly process it. The weird thing is you might gain knowledge about the situation that your own Dad never had - and that can feel strange. And also frustrating because the people who it truly affected are no longer around to share this information with. That can be the hardest part - when you learn something and just want to give that person a good hug for what they must have gone through.

Best of luck with your further researches - if you have the appetite to take them further of course.

My great aunt was the victim of domestic violence, she was regularly beaten by her husband. As such, she was put into a lunatic asylum as it was deemed there must be something wrong with her of her husband felt compelled to beat her.

Don’t assume the worst of your grandmother.

Thank you everyone for your support and advice. To clarify paternal grandfather had just returned from the war having been demobbed. He had only been in a short while, but my grandmother struggled with having five young children her own. I found out last night that she was probably manic depressive [it's in the family, I have bipolar].
She apparently took an axe to his head and killed him. I've been studying my tree semi professionally for over 20 years and had no idea. I stumbled across it last night whilst looking for an inquest on the death of another family member with same surname.
Am going to dig deeper and find out more, I know that the adult dc are now dead so going to contact relatives I've never met yet.
Should be interesting.

Wow, that's some revelation. Difficult to digest, but very interesting xx

I understand OP.
Not quite on the same level but I found out my maternal great great grandmother died at only 49 years old. So I asked my Gran who was alive at the time if she knew why and it turned out a cooker set her nylon nightie on fire and she literally burned alive. And my poor great grandma witnessed it. She was still a child 😱

Struggling That's terrible to hear, 😢I only found out about granfather because a young cousin x1 died due to lack of fire guard and I was looking for her inquest. She had the same surname as him.

@strugglingandstressed something similar happened my 1st boyfriends paternal great aunt. She was only 4 and stood too close to the fire and her nightie caught. They only had a horse/ cart and she was gone by the time they got her to hospital.

@stripedsox I can only imagine your shock! I hope you can get a bit more information from the archives/ other relatives

My family history is peppered with "insanity" and institutionalisation and incarceration. So much of it relates to deep poverty and extremely difficult lives. You have to remember the working classes have been treated appallingly for all of human history. As have women. You don't know the full picture of your grandmother's life. So often women were branded insane for reacting to trauma or stepping out of strict gender stereotypes. Our mental health system still continues a similar model today, sadly. This is not to condone murder which is abhorrent, but just to give you an idea of context. We are shaped by genetics yes, but most of all by our environments: early childhood experiences; degrees of love or trauma; poverty; life events etc.

He could well have been struggling with Post traumatic Stress, and been very intolerant of her and the children.

Given the people involved are all dead, and Mental Health and Mental Illness wasn't that well understood, and people weren't really able to separate as easily as now, I'd view it with an open mind.
I doubt that you'll ever get to the bottom of what lead up to it.

I'm very opened minded to it all and what the causes may have been, although from what i've read I think grandmother was generally worn down by the war with five young dc and having to cope with everything. She may have resented her husband being away at war, although he would have had plenty of his own problems.
Have applied for various reports and closed records on the case, so that may enlighten me more.

Women suffering from severe post-natal depression were sometimes sent to the lunatic asylum. It doesn't bear thinking about really, does it?

Crikey, what a shock OP. Was it the report into the inquest that you managed to find?

I’ve had a few shocks as well. My mother has been furiously delving into the family tree and unearthed all sorts of things. My great, great grandfather was sent to prison in Ireland for beating his wife. It must have been extreme, because this was the 1860s, when hitting your wife was the norm. Another ancestor was sent to prison in Scotland, joined the army in Glasgow, deserted, and then fled to London.

Lots of fascinating stuff as well. We traced my grandfather’s line right back to 1370. It was so interesting to draw a horizontal line and write down the name of each ancestor, then his father, and then his father, going back 600 years. All of them lived in, or around, London. Genetically, I’m pretty much 100% British-Irish.