I've woken up to multiple people on my Facebook - including my sister - sharing a horrific case of a woman with BPD killing her boyfriend - and apparently this was done in front of her 3 year old son too! There is obviously no excusing that at all and what she did was horrific, but alongside the post are lots of comments about people with BPD all being evil, all being crazy, to run as far as possible, shouldn't be allowed their children, only a matter of time etc.
I was diagnosed with BPD 10 years ago, I don't have anger issues, I get depressed a lot, have no idea how to interact in social situations so I can be awkward, I dont know if people actually like me or are just being nice and I have sensory issues that make me panicky and irritable if I feel like I can't escape (e.g supermarkets) but I can't imagine ever, ever doing something to purposely hurt another person - either physically or verbally!
I know BPD has really bad stigma, but am I really just a ticking time bomb? I feel like my children should be taken away from me because I'm terrified one day I'll snap and like some of the comments say you just never know when that will happen. I've looked at forums for people with BPD and I don't relate to alot of what they talk about so I don't feel like I can seek reassurance from others. It's just yet another place I don't fit in. The post was made by a psychologist who said that all people with BPD are narcissistic and I've been worried I might be a narcissist for a while now.
I've had CBT multiple times but it hasn't helped, I still feel like an alien, I've tried taking antidepressants but I struggle to remember them (I had alarms that worked for a while but the second my routine changed I forgot again). I feel like I'm hopeless now and I'm terrified I'm going to end up hurting the people I love most, but at the same time I can't imagine doing that.