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Original poster

Lovely neighbour but possibly CF- dog walking?

48 replies

Boxshibe · 26/02/2023 04:33

We seem to have found ourselves with a potential CF situation. We
moved last year to a village and have got to know our neighbours, all lovely. One neighbour has a 1 year old dog. We have 2 dogs. The dogs get on ok. Dh walks our dogs twice a day and gets to know our neighbour quite well. She's been round for coffee and we've been to hers . She is lovely but we've found ourselves in a situation where for the last few weeks we are walking her dog most evenings. She's been ill so we haven't really minded but now it's presumed we'll walk her. She's badly behaved and pulls a lot. It's difficult to walk 3 dogs so we both need to go for a walk.
Now we recently discovered that it's not her dog it's her sons dog. He's in his 20s and lives with her but she does 90% of the dog care. Even when he's at home she still expects us to walk her.
She's going into hospital overnight soon and has asked us to have the dog for 48hrs. Practically it'll be difficult She's never been with us for longer than a few hours and I don't think our dogs will react well. ( we even looked after her Xmas day as the dog doesn't like her other son)
How do we get out of this or do we just put up as it's hospital and her son is useless? Do we try to limit walks?
Sorry didn't realise it would be so long

OP posts:
Flittingaboutagain · 26/02/2023 04:42

I would say I'm sorry this won't work for us or our two, so your son will have to look after his own dog. You don't need a reason or excuse! Think of it like you're not actually helping her, you're enabling her lazy CF son!

Nandocushion · 26/02/2023 05:10

You can just say NO. "I'm so sorry but we won't be able to look after your dog(s)! I hope your hospital visit goes well." And that's it, nothing else.

HaveYouSeenNancy · 26/02/2023 05:13

Could you say that one of your dogs has become reactive to her (son's) dog?

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Dogs
XanaduKira · 26/02/2023 05:46

Just say no - it doesn't work for you as the dogs don't get along. No drama or making a big deal out of it.

TrinnySmith · 26/02/2023 06:32

I would offer to look after it this time as she is in hosp and the son probably will NOT look after it - but from then on no.
Might be better for them to rehome it if the owner can't be bothered with it at all.

CooCooNut · 26/02/2023 06:36

TrinnySmith · 26/02/2023 06:32

I would offer to look after it this time as she is in hosp and the son probably will NOT look after it - but from then on no.
Might be better for them to rehome it if the owner can't be bothered with it at all.

I'd do this too. A hospital stay will be stressful for her so she doesn't need the added stress of worrying about the dog whilst she's there (I appreciate it's not your problem but a little compassion goes a long way). However, I'd make it clear that this will be the last time and she'll have to make other arrangements going forward.

PathOfLeastResitance · 26/02/2023 06:51

I’d look after the dog this time and then say it went badly so that’s the end of you looking after his dog.

Justleaveitblankthen · 26/02/2023 06:54

I would do it for the dog's sake.

Clymene · 26/02/2023 06:54

Her son can look after his dog while his mum is in hospital. It's not your problem he's a useless lazy layabout.

Say no, your dogs don't like her dog so it's not going to work.

moose62 · 26/02/2023 06:55

I would be honest and say that you can't control 3 dogs by yourself so what was a favour has become a chore and an imposition so moving forward her son gas to walk the dog, a dog walker or rehome it.

ThatCantBeTrue · 26/02/2023 06:59

Stop it now. Definitely cf

gettingalifttothestation · 26/02/2023 06:59

Poor dog. It's not your job to do it but I feel sorry for it. I think it's best to not get too friendly with neighbours. We just say hello and keep it at that.

SpringIsSpringing23 · 26/02/2023 07:02

She is lovely but we've found ourselves in a situation where for the last few weeks we are walking her dog most evenings. She's been ill so we haven't really minded but now it's presumed we'll walk her. She's badly behaved and pulls a lot. It's difficult to walk 3 dogs so we both need to go for a walk.

I thought for a minute you meant the neighbour is badly behaved and pulls a lot 😆 🤣

Clymene · 26/02/2023 07:06

And she's not lovely. She's manipulative

SoCunningYouCanStickATailOnItAndCallItAFox · 26/02/2023 07:13

I would say that the arrangement isn't working anymore for lots of reasons so the son will have to look after the dog.

7eleven · 26/02/2023 07:20

It sounds as if the dog needs rehoming.

As PP said, for the dog’s sake I’d have it for the hospital trip. Afterwards just say it’s not possible to walk it anymore.

If the dog suffers, call the RSPCA.

The real cf is the son. Don’t facilitate him.

BadSkiingMum · 26/02/2023 07:20

It’s like the dog version of a CF school mum asking for emergency childcare even though their DH is at home!

Bogeyes · 26/02/2023 07:21

Clymene · 26/02/2023 06:54

Her son can look after his dog while his mum is in hospital. It's not your problem he's a useless lazy layabout.

Say no, your dogs don't like her dog so it's not going to work.

This.

Clymene · 26/02/2023 07:23

And don't have it for the hospital trip because he next time will be another emergency. Once you've done it once, it's going to be much harder to say no next time. And there will be a next time.

Or she'll be too unwell to look after it when she comes out and before you know it, you've got three dogs.

milkyaqua · 26/02/2023 07:46

She's been ill so we haven't really minded but now it's presumed we'll walk her.

Yeah... That sort of assuming is not lovely.

Now we recently discovered that it's not her dog it's her sons dog. He's in his 20s and lives with her but she does 90% of the dog care. Even when he's at home she still expects us to walk her.

Even less lovely!

She's badly behaved and pulls a lot. It's difficult to walk 3 dogs so we both need to go for a walk.

Tell her this in a lovely sympathetic tone. And that you won't be able to take it on for 48 hours. And also that her son needs to walk/rehome his own dog now.

I am sure she's very pleasant, but having bad boundaries around her son, and then palming his responsibilities onto you is not very nice in the end.

IncompleteSenten · 26/02/2023 07:49

You start saying no.
I was happy to help out while you were ill but I don't want this to be a permanent arrangement.

If she presses the issue then say the dog does X, y and z and needs training.

Eddielizzard · 26/02/2023 07:50

I'm so sorry we can't. Unfortunately our dogs have started to take against yours, and actually we won't be able to walk it in the evenings either.

Let her work out a solution. I'd only help now if she was really really stuck.

WandaWonder · 26/02/2023 07:53

I would just I can't do it anymore, I don't see a reason you need to give a story whether true or not just say you can't do it

Hiddenvoice · 26/02/2023 07:56

It sounds like she cannot care for the dog and the son doesn’t actually want the dog. I’d be honest with her and say it has become too much to walk her dog as well so you cannot continue doing it. Then explain that you can’t watch her dog whilst she is in hospital as it isn’t feasible with your plans.
I would maybe politely suggest she rehomes the dog but I’m guessing the dog will be her bit of company.

piedbeauty · 26/02/2023 07:59

Flittingaboutagain · 26/02/2023 04:42

I would say I'm sorry this won't work for us or our two, so your son will have to look after his own dog. You don't need a reason or excuse! Think of it like you're not actually helping her, you're enabling her lazy CF son!

This! What a lazy twat.