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Original poster

Lovely neighbour but possibly CF- dog walking?

48 replies

Boxshibe · 26/02/2023 04:33

We seem to have found ourselves with a potential CF situation. We
moved last year to a village and have got to know our neighbours, all lovely. One neighbour has a 1 year old dog. We have 2 dogs. The dogs get on ok. Dh walks our dogs twice a day and gets to know our neighbour quite well. She's been round for coffee and we've been to hers . She is lovely but we've found ourselves in a situation where for the last few weeks we are walking her dog most evenings. She's been ill so we haven't really minded but now it's presumed we'll walk her. She's badly behaved and pulls a lot. It's difficult to walk 3 dogs so we both need to go for a walk.
Now we recently discovered that it's not her dog it's her sons dog. He's in his 20s and lives with her but she does 90% of the dog care. Even when he's at home she still expects us to walk her.
She's going into hospital overnight soon and has asked us to have the dog for 48hrs. Practically it'll be difficult She's never been with us for longer than a few hours and I don't think our dogs will react well. ( we even looked after her Xmas day as the dog doesn't like her other son)
How do we get out of this or do we just put up as it's hospital and her son is useless? Do we try to limit walks?
Sorry didn't realise it would be so long

OP posts:
Fakecrazy · 26/02/2023 08:04

Now there is another adult to look after the dog, you don't need to. In fact, stop the walks today. Just say you didn't mind helping out in the short term, but the arrangement can't go on as 2 dogs are enough of a challenge and they don't actually get on. Just keep repeating, no, sorry.

ALittleBitAhAh · 26/02/2023 08:07

Say no and signpost her to the Cinnamon Trust. I like animals more than people. To the people suggesting doing it for the dog's sake - my dog comes first. As yours should. The Cinnamon Trust should be able to help her. Then her idiot son needs to pull his finger out! (Obvs not in your control!).

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 26/02/2023 08:18

We regularly help out our NDN with letting his dogs out and walking them. If it's inconvenient for us though we just say 'sorry can't do it this time.' You don't need an excuse to say No sometimes.

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Shemovesshemoves21 · 26/02/2023 08:40

Personally, I'd take the dog for when she's in hospital but ask for someone you can drop the dog off to as backup in case your dogs don't react well. I'd also say it's too difficult to walk 3 dogs at a time, and you can't do it anymore.

Fakecrazy · 26/02/2023 08:55

Personally, I'd take the dog for when she's in hospital but ask for someone you can drop the dog off to as backup in case your dogs don't react well

Like the dog's actual owner who will be there in the house the whole time?

whowhatwerewhy · 26/02/2023 09:00

Simply tell her your sorry but it's not possible for her / sons dog to stay.
Can she not use a kennel?

drpet49 · 26/02/2023 09:01

Fakecrazy · 26/02/2023 08:04

Now there is another adult to look after the dog, you don't need to. In fact, stop the walks today. Just say you didn't mind helping out in the short term, but the arrangement can't go on as 2 dogs are enough of a challenge and they don't actually get on. Just keep repeating, no, sorry.

This. Her lazy son can do it. She is taking the mick.

Original poster
Boxshibe · 26/02/2023 11:10

Thanks for all the comments. We'll look after it for this time but start to limit walks. It's a shame she's a lovely dog and would be brilliant with some training.
Dh was talking about us getting a 3rd dog but this has thankfully put him off.

OP posts:
Clymene · 26/02/2023 11:16

Boxshibe · 26/02/2023 11:10

Thanks for all the comments. We'll look after it for this time but start to limit walks. It's a shame she's a lovely dog and would be brilliant with some training.
Dh was talking about us getting a 3rd dog but this has thankfully put him off.

I guarantee you'll be back again complaining about her dumping the dog on you. You gave her an inch and she took a mile. Now you're telling her she can have 10 nautical ones.

TurnTheLightOffNigel · 26/02/2023 11:32

I do wonder if she feels beholden to the dog because her son doesn't care for it as he should.

Have the dog this once but say that as much as you wish it wasn't this way, that it's actually stressful walking it because reason you said, two of you, pulling, chore now and that it's a shame son isn't pulling his weight, tough love etc

CoraPirbright · 26/02/2023 11:50

I would say “yes, of course we will help you out as you are going into hospital. However, after this, your son will need to start walking his own dog as it is difficult to wrangle 3 of them when yours pulls badly on the lead”

So you help out as she is going into hospital …..but the lazy twerp stops getting his free help thereafter. It’s a shame for her, obviously, but her own fault if she has brought up such a layabout.

milkyaqua · 01/03/2023 03:51

Boxshibe · 26/02/2023 11:10

Thanks for all the comments. We'll look after it for this time but start to limit walks. It's a shame she's a lovely dog and would be brilliant with some training.
Dh was talking about us getting a 3rd dog but this has thankfully put him off.

In your OP, you wrote:

How do we get out of this or do we just put up as it's hospital and her son is useless?

Seems as if you've forgotten you wanted to get out of this duty/expectation. You have just further cemented your role as her unpaid dog-carers and dog-walker and have solved nothing. Because after the hospital, she will no doubt be 'not well enough to walk it', she will have made no arrangements for her son to step up and take care of his dog, as she has you two mugs, and then on and on it goes.

BeesOnLavender · 01/03/2023 04:18

A CF for sure. Prioritising the Big Important Man in her life. It's ok for you to be inconvienced, you're just a woman. Stop walking the dog or providing any help. The son can help her or arrange carers for her. He can sell his dog if he doesn't want to look after it.

TheFretfulPorpentine · 01/03/2023 05:32

Why can't the son take time off work or put the dog in kennels?

Fraaahnces · 01/03/2023 05:52

You guys are mad. Why aren’t you asking about the 20 year old? Why isn’t he stepping up?

SunshineAndFizz · 01/03/2023 06:00

Definitely don't do it this time - it's a slippery slope!!

"Actually now that you mention it, I've been trying to find the right time to say...your dog just isn't getting on with my dog, it's become really hard work to walk them all. Sorry, but having your dog at ours isn't going to work, and to be honest the dog walking isn't either. Can't your son help, isn't it his dog?"

Original poster
Boxshibe · 01/03/2023 06:03

We have been dodging her by walking ours at different times. Apparently the son has a new job so v busy. Not heard about the hospital. Though we can't dodge forever.

OP posts:
Morestrangethings · 01/03/2023 06:49

”To the people suggesting doing it for the dog's sake - my dog comes first. As yours should.”

I agree - OP has said she does not think her dogs will react well to having the neighbour’s dog. That is reason enough.

And neighbour is unwell and hospital stay could extend to more than a night, so OP could be stuck with the dog longer than anticipated.

Alondra · 01/03/2023 06:57

All of the answers above!

Say no. Tell her you find it difficult to walk the 3 dogs and her son should be walking his own dog. Don't be wishy-washy about it, say it clearly and plainly, to make sure she understands the situation is no sustainable.

No excuses, no apologies. Being frank and honest is the best way to deal with people abusing our best nature.

Mindymomo · 01/03/2023 07:08

Our neighbour fell over on ice about 7 weeks ago now and broke her shoulder, she lives alone with her dog. We are in a rota and walk her dog twice a week, like you we didn’t want to commit to more, it’s not the walking so much, it’s the fact that we have to arrange our day around it. I walk our dog and DH walks her dog. Must admit she is a far better walker and no trouble unlike ours.

Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 01/03/2023 07:11

Can you have a word with the son, tell him he needs to step up?

Freysimo · 01/03/2023 07:14

ALittleBitAhAh · 26/02/2023 08:07

Say no and signpost her to the Cinnamon Trust. I like animals more than people. To the people suggesting doing it for the dog's sake - my dog comes first. As yours should. The Cinnamon Trust should be able to help her. Then her idiot son needs to pull his finger out! (Obvs not in your control!).

I'm a volunteer for the Cinnamon Trust. The service is for elderly or disabled people who are unable to walk their dogs, so not sure neighbour would qualify. The dog is her son's and he's not impaired health wise, is he?

tara66 · 01/03/2023 07:30

As has been mentioned - she could try to find a local dog walker who will also have dog staying with them while she is in hospital. I should think having the dog to stay at yours honestly will not work if dogs don't get on and fight. Then what would you do? Or she needs to put it in kennels.

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