Anyone found that working full time when you have primary aged child isn’t that financially viable

[Kittencuddle]

So been sahp for years
do voluntary work and have a busy and full life
dh in high salary so no benefits etc

anyway a job has come up with the organisation that I volunteer for
it not well paid 25-27k per year
but I think it would be really enjoyable

ds in year 4
well half way through year 4

so he would need to go to before school club and after school club
I think this is over 20 quid a day
maybe around 25ish ?

id need a second car and it’s a 50 min drive each way
so no idea how much petrol is use a month ?
it’s Mon to Fri 9 -5
so even getting back to collect from after school at 6 could be right if there’s any road accidents etc
plus in holidays
I guess I’d have to use holiday clubs or child minder

so I’m just wondering how financially feasible this is

dh sometimes works from home but it’s not reliable so I’d have to have a child care plan in place

We must agree to disagree.

I get that. It's why I have stayed at home for about a year after mat leave ended. But then I realised if I go back now, I'll progress in my career pretty quickly and while I'm barely breaking even this year, by the time my youngest gets her 30 free hours and my oldest starts school, I'll have had two payrises, even without promotions.

Suddenly we'll have enough disposable cash annually to save for uni or house deposits for the DCs later down the line if they want those. It really depends on the career route though, and in our case it's definitely time for me to go to work as I never planned to be a SAHM and I'm not doing the role justice.

I see what you're saying though, there's nothing wrong with being an SAHM if that's what OP wants to do and enjoys and her husband is on board but I feel she needs to be clear in her own mind that she's making that choice and not being trapped into it when she wants something else.

How about fulfilling your potential and having some self respect?

Spot on.
I think a lot of women tell themselves they need to concentrate on their careers, or they are giving their kids a better life, when in fact all children want is time with their parents.
I see working when you don't need to as a selfish indulgence. When schools were closed during lockdown, and the majority of folks were being paid to stay at home, it amazed me how many people couldnt stand being with their children all day.
Kids feel this. They grow up knowing if they are a burden they are on their parents preferred way of life, and they express their frustrations one way or another, often to the detriment of society.

It’s amazing how many women think their husbands jobs are completely inflexible. I bet if a woman was doing the same job they would find a way to make it work and wouldn’t expect their partner to do 100% of childcare.

Yeah, I agree with you. Which is why I have respect for PP for making it work at £30K.

Or maybe OP does not want to suffer the loss of income associated with DH's compromised career path. Its amazine how many women do not understand the male workspace and what it takes for men to succeed. I suppose it all depends on how much OP values her DH's security and income level.

You are definitely trolling now.

Children are part of society. We try to give then the best life possible as parents through our love and attention. Why? So they fly the nest and become happy, functioning members of society. Or, by your logic, if they're girls just exist to breed more children to the exclusion of everything else. And, if they're boys, to pay for their women. Thank god society has moved beyond that, even if you haven't.

Clearly you can afford to work. Holiday clubs are not that expensive over a year if you tag team the holidays with your husband a bit, and most of us work out some childcare swaps or trade lifts to childcare to make the holidays work. Lots of people manage to work and have children at school, there's no reason why you can't too.

It's also a great time to do it. Put in FT hours now while you have a couple more years of having after school childcare on tap. Show your employer you are reliable and hardworking. Then when your child starts secondary hopefully you have that reputation and trust built up, and you can negotiate some flex for the transition. Maybe a bit of WFH, early finishes or parental leave. Childcare is harder to find once they start secondary so make the most of it now.

Of course having 2 parents working FT is not ideal for all families, and not all children will thrive with 10 wraparound sessions a week. However this is a great opportunity to give it a go if you want to. You can always resign if it doesn't work.

I do get that if he's a manager at Asda he can just tell the company to FO. But not if he's a corporate lawyer, a project manager for a building firm, a lobbyist for an oil giant, or a airline pilot. 'Flexibility' is a marker for non-committed also-rans in the male workforce. It does not work if DH is a high performer in his field. In fact, the most successful 'flexible' workers I have come accross are small business owners and entrepreneurs.

But that’s totally meaningless and irrelevant if the family pools it’s finances. The overall impact of adding a salary but paying childcare costs is the same regardless of whose salary you ‘assign’ those costs too. The net result to the family pot is the same. Making the bloke pay half only makes any difference if they have independent finances. Which I can’t imagine they do given the OP currently has no income of her own.

This statement is always trotted out and I can never wrap my head around why!

I will pay 1400 a month when my son starts nursery and my dd is in before and after school club (currently on mat leave). That and the petrol to get to work leaves me with about £100 left over. That's before bills, car running costs, mortgage. Don't know the point of this post except that I hope in the end it pays off.

Just becasue I have a different opinion that doesnt mean its trolling.
OP is asking for advice regarding starting work full time, and putting DS in childcare for most of the day.
I am pointing out the affect that may have on her child, family life, and all for an extra few hundred pound a month.
Attacking people because they can construct an argument against going back to work is pretty low, seeing as you havent managed to construct a coherent argument for it, other than the usual 'you go girl' argument that always gets trotted out.

Exactly.
But some people just can't count.

Good grief, some of the nonsense on this thread!

If I was you, I’d take the job and try to make it work. If you’ve been out of the job market for a long time you might struggle to get anything similar if you start looking at a later date, if you think you have a good shot at getting the job then go for it! The practicalities can be sorted out between you, your DH and wrap around care I’m sure.
Not all ‘gains’ are financial, you’ll learn and grow, meet new people, gain new skills and confidence etc etc.
You can then start paying into a private pension etc if you’re not already, and secure your future financially.

A £25k salary is a take home of around £1670 a month after tax,ni and pension.

it’s nothing to sniff at.

Is your suggestion to fund single mothers until their children are in secondary school, and help them to retrain or make up for the shortfall in lifetime earnings and pension from the time out? Because women being home all that time ends up with women and children absolutely screwed over if the husband walks out, and other women trapped in abusive marriages.

It's also a dream that no longer exists about 'playing in the street' - also worth pointing out that you aren't actually with your mum if you're playing out. Kids of sahps are just as often inside watching TV or gaming these days with a pack of wotsits while others - including mine - actively ask to go to after school care or clubs even on days when a parent is around, because that's where kids now play with friends.

Finally, is it a 'selfish indulgence' when men work, or only for women? 🙄

Agree

Its amazine how many women do not understand the male workspace and what it takes for men to succeed.

What's the male workspace?!

“and the majority of folks were being paid to stay at home, it amazed me how many people couldnt stand being with their children all day.”

WTF???

first, plenty of people were WFH, not furloughed.

second, a year 4 child required homeschooling, not just hanging out.

third, most of the things to do with kids eg playgrounds were shut.

My job brings me joy. I like that my brain is fully engaged, the social side too. Your child will pick up on your happiness as well. If it’s a job you’ll love then absolutely go for it. You’ll be a wonderful role model.

What on earth is the “male workspace”? And what it takes for men to succeed is less than any other group of people (women, ethnic minorities, disabled people etc etc).

@SimplySeb

Do tell us about your big, important man job and what sacrifices the women in your life need to make so you can succeed.

Does it matter how much better off you'd be financially?

Given that you're only considering this job because you think you will enjoy it and the salary is certainly enough to cover childcare and petrol - maybe with a bit of spare cash left over. Then the overall family pot isn't taking a financial loss with you taking the job.

Listen it sounds like you don't 'need to work', so apply and go for it. You can always quit! If it doesn't work out or isn't what you thought you can go back to the status quo - which is a very privileged position to be in.

I'd take the job purely because it looks like something you'd enjoy, gets you back in the job market and who knows what it might lead to.

Point is if you don't try you won't know.

Op

i agree a 50 min commute to a 9-5 job is a stretch. It might be possible to:

-do 9-4.30 with a half hour lunch break
-if DH can do any drop offs or pick ups, do a couple of longer days
-work from home 1-2 days a week and make those longer days