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Original poster

Did I really send that email to in-laws??

87 replies

Alittlebitfunny · 20/02/2023 19:55

Massive cringeworthy parenting moment....
I was searching for an old email and found one to my parents in law nearly ten years ago. They used to have my then 2 year old for one day a week. It's polite but lonnnnggg....and sets out a number of very detailed "requests" around potty training, snacks and daytime naps. I can't believe I sent it!

Both poorly these days. I always let them know how appreciated their company was but I wish I could apologise for that email!!

OP posts:

rainbpwcupboards · 20/02/2023 20:26

If it helps my best friend wrote a similar step by step list for me a few years ago. I still think its cute (and it was helpful, all babies are different)

Clymene · 20/02/2023 20:29

I found the two page note I left for my mum when she first looked after my eldest as a baby for about 3 hours. Including instructions on signs of tiredness.

How she didn't laugh in my face I don't know. She must have been biting her tongue really hard

Zanatdy · 20/02/2023 20:30

Why not apologise for it. Just light heartedly, say you were clearing out your inbox and saw it and can’t believe how many things you worried about when she was little.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Potty training

xJoy · 20/02/2023 20:31

hA, YOU COUld just let them know you found it and jokily apologising for losing the run of yourself. We all did it when our babies were small!

Danioo · 20/02/2023 20:32

I cringe when I think about a similar note I gave my friend, including writing out the lyrics to bohemian rhapsody in case she didn't know them, as that song always settled him.

She asked if I was joking, said I wasn't and she heroically didn't laugh and just nodded.

She's the best

pictoosh · 20/02/2023 20:34

I never did it when my babies were small to be fair. I know it’s common but no, I was never that precious mum with the instructions.

tillyoumakeit · 20/02/2023 20:34

Ha - I found a note of given my MIL (who raised 3 kids) of PFB's routine. It may have actually said something like '6:23 - run bath'

tillyoumakeit · 20/02/2023 20:35

pictoosh · 20/02/2023 20:34

I never did it when my babies were small to be fair. I know it’s common but no, I was never that precious mum with the instructions.

Well done you. Gold star.

AlwaysHopeful · 20/02/2023 20:36

I did the same for my mum and MIL. They both asked for DDs routine details and were happy to have them written down. I cringe now but it helped everyone at the time.

pictoosh · 20/02/2023 20:38

Gold star. It was. I was always grateful and couldn’t get out the door fast enough tbh.

CornflakesOnTheSolesOfHerShoes · 20/02/2023 20:40

My sister did this for me when we had her baby daughter once. It said something like “10.30am - put her down for a nap”, and I looked at my wide-awake niece, scoffed, and put her in her cot. Two minutes later she was sound asleep, as though she had also read the instructions.

My two were napping refuseniks and didn’t operate like that. Maybe they would have if I’d written more detailed notes!

Catsstillrock · 20/02/2023 20:42

@Alittlebitfunny you can refer to it now with then if you want to.

however I don’t think it was an outrageous or precious thing to do.

When each of our have stated nursery they’ve generally asked us for this kind of rundown of habits, needs and preferences.

we have nannies and I always provide an info doc when a new nanny starts that sets out our routines, things to know, things to watch out for, even though all our kids are school age now.

it just saves a lot of time explaining and things going wrong or getting forgotten because they don’t know.

if I’m caring for other people’s kids for anything longer than a play date I like to be given some guidance on what’s important or what to look out for.

i find people who are so very sure they don’t need that to be too arrogant. All children are different. And not all of them are able to tell a new adult or one they know less well, what they need.

For Grandparents it may well be 30 years or more since they last cared for you children. They forget, and things change.

DancingDaughter50 · 20/02/2023 20:50

Well said cats still rock!

It's amusing and sweet op..

But I agree with cats that children are all different.

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 20/02/2023 20:53

Danioo · 20/02/2023 20:32

I cringe when I think about a similar note I gave my friend, including writing out the lyrics to bohemian rhapsody in case she didn't know them, as that song always settled him.

She asked if I was joking, said I wasn't and she heroically didn't laugh and just nodded.

She's the best

Absolutely weeping at this.

Was it the whole song?! Your friend has poker face for England.

Redshoeblueshoe · 20/02/2023 20:55

Danioo - your friend is a star

tirednewmumm · 20/02/2023 20:59

pictoosh · 20/02/2023 20:34

I never did it when my babies were small to be fair. I know it’s common but no, I was never that precious mum with the instructions.

Too bad you didn't escape being a smug knowitall

Newnamenewname109870 · 20/02/2023 21:02

Is it really so bad? Surely it’s helpful for them to know and it is your baby. I’d not bat an eyelid if someone did to to me, honestly :)

pictoosh · 20/02/2023 21:04

Why have you said that to me?
I’m not smug or a know it all. I faced the same challenges as every other parent and still do.
I just wasn’t of the list of instructions persuasion. I trusted my mum and in-laws and thought of them as capable. If there was anything they wanted to know, they asked. I was always on the end of a phone. I didn’t feel the need to instruct them or detail routines. I let them get on with it with no problems. What’s wrong with that?

Lelophants · 20/02/2023 21:04

pictoosh · 20/02/2023 20:34

I never did it when my babies were small to be fair. I know it’s common but no, I was never that precious mum with the instructions.

Well how did they know what to do? All babies are different. Mine still ask as want to know everything to help.

Newnamenewname109870 · 20/02/2023 21:05

pictoosh · 20/02/2023 21:04

It was using the word ‘precious’ about mums who write a list.

aloris · 20/02/2023 21:08

Danioo · 20/02/2023 20:32

I cringe when I think about a similar note I gave my friend, including writing out the lyrics to bohemian rhapsody in case she didn't know them, as that song always settled him.

She asked if I was joking, said I wasn't and she heroically didn't laugh and just nodded.

She's the best

At least you picked a good song. Bit dark though.

BitOutOfPractice · 20/02/2023 21:09

I’d thank my IL’s for not rolling their eyes at you and have a laugh about it.

TheNine · 20/02/2023 21:10

I left a similar lengthy email for the cattery when I left my cat there once 😅 have a good chuckle about it every year when it comes up on Facebook memories!

pictoosh · 20/02/2023 21:10

Is that not what the OP was intimating? That it’s a bit precious?

I have plenty of flaws and foibles but that particular one was never one of mine. Is it bad to say so?

Calphurnia88 · 20/02/2023 21:12

Another who doesn't think it's that precious or outrageous, depending on how detailed the instructions were.

Just before DS starts nursery they've said they'll ask us for a rundown of his daily routine. Family too far away to provide childcare but if they did then no doubt we would need to give them something similar.

MIL left us a one page document when we looked after her dog for a few days. We were really grateful for it!

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