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Original poster

Would you chose to live near an ‘enemy’?

66 replies

Antsinmypants23 · 20/02/2023 16:13

Hi, I’m looking for advice but I wasn’t sure which topic it should be.
We are in the process of looking at new houses as I’m pregnant and will need an extra bedroom.
There is a house we really like, it’s near the schools and in walking distance to town and parks.
We went to view it yesterday and seriously considered putting in an offer on the spot.
The catch is that the neighbour next door is someone I can only describe as an enemy to sum it up. I only realised as I saw her children playing in the garden.
I won’t go into detail about why, but she put me in a dark place many years ago. I did get help and moved on but the thought of her being nearby concerns me that I may become anxious and remember it all again.
Part of me says to put my big boy pants on and forget her, she may not recognise me at all, another part says it could be triggering and ruin an exciting time knowing she is 2 doors away.
I haven’t told my husband as I don’t want it to be the deciding factor, but I just wanted to get some of your views before I talk to him.

OP posts:
creamwitheverything · 20/02/2023 16:43

One other thing OP I am pretty sure your husband would not want you to be in a position like that either so he will support your reasons ,He wouldnt want you living like that.

ThoroughlyEnjoyable · 20/02/2023 16:46

If she is nosey it would be difficult

Catapultaway · 20/02/2023 17:03

I wouldn't.

JehovahsWildebeest · 20/02/2023 17:24

It would definitely put me off but DH wouldn't get it at all and think I was being ridiculous.

Florissant · 20/02/2023 17:25

I would if I liked the house and the neighbours were quiet and kept their properties well-maintained.

Cherrysoup · 20/02/2023 18:21

Hell no. I was absolutely horrified to see an old frenemy, whose actions led to a chain of events which have made my life very difficult, turn up to my work 18 months ago. She is, as I predicted, upsetting everyone in sight. I’m hoping she won’t last much longer. I definitely wouldn’t buy a house near anyone like this.

cassiatwenty · 20/02/2023 18:48

I wouldn't

bobbytorq · 20/02/2023 19:13

I don't allow people to become enemies so it wouldn't be an issue for me..........I just kill them instead👿

CrapBucket · 20/02/2023 19:16

I honestly wouldn't care less who lived next door but one, if the house was what I wanted. Unless they were going to smoke loads of weed and affect me in the garden.

Grizzledstrawberry · 20/02/2023 19:21

If its bothering you this much already then I think you should find somewhere else, and if she's that awful what's to stop her from doing it again, turning neighbours against you, reporting you etc, its best to keep away from toxic people like that.

RobertsRadio · 20/02/2023 19:22

bobbytorq · 20/02/2023 19:13

I don't allow people to become enemies so it wouldn't be an issue for me..........I just kill them instead👿

Excellent solution! 👍

Goodread1 · 20/02/2023 19:25

Hell no,
Not if I can help it,

I suppose context it depends on really,
Having a 🤔 think about this /,,reflection

BeeBB · 20/02/2023 19:29

I wouldn’t want to risk it if either she lives there or has a connection. You could feel permanently on edge its not worth the risk.

One of DH’s close friends wives was a complete b to me and we had a fall out following which she isolated us socially from his and our other friends as gradually she had manoeuvred herself as top dog/chief party/social organiser. She lived around the corner from us, they moved to live near us a couple of years after us. We all had kids and theirs were similar ages to ours and even though they weren’t in any of the same classes I was forever coming across her at school pick ups and drop off, brownies, cubs, scouts, football, parents evenings, in the local newsagents etc. This also continued into secondary school.

DaisyDucks · 20/02/2023 19:45

If she also sees you as an enemy and you could terrorise her by moving next door then crack on. If not I’d say well clear.

purpledalmation · 20/02/2023 19:55

No. Never.

H34th · 20/02/2023 19:58

But how lucky you are that you actually saw and recognised her kids! Imagine buying the house and realising she's your neighbour only after moving...

I would definitely take that as a sign to pass on the house.

Barleysugar86 · 20/02/2023 20:00

I first thought this was an enemy from kids, but if you were like that as adults it would worry me.

Nasty neighbours can really bring you down. There will be other houses even if you have to wait a few months.

Zanatdy · 20/02/2023 20:02

No I wouldn’t do it, as yes maybe things will be fine but what if it’s not? Plenty of houses I wouldn’t choose one so close to someone from my past who caused me a lot of anxiety

justasmalltownmum · 20/02/2023 20:04

No

LegoGoldenDragon · 20/02/2023 20:07

No. God no. Your home is your sanctuary. I currently have amazing neighbours, but have had shit ones in the past. It makes life miserable. At least with a workplace bully you can escape. Run for the hills!

Opal2022 · 20/02/2023 20:14

I can see how it would be tempting to go for it and hope for the best. I am not someone who needs or wants neighbours as friends but I do think it’s important to say a friendly hello and know if you’re in a bind you could knock on someone’s door. I do not have that where I currently live, lovely area but it does pinch a bit to feel the unfriendliness. Would not have thought that would bother me at all before living here. That woman could make things difficult and the last thing you want is to give her a second chance at making you miserable. For me personally I would say no to the house.

LadyChatterlysLover · 20/02/2023 20:28

No, there are other houses without ghouls nearby.

piesforever · 20/02/2023 20:33

100% NO!!!!!

Lambchop1 · 20/02/2023 20:37

No, don’t do it. You’ll regret it later on.

Ptemple · 20/02/2023 20:38

I don't think I'd knowingly go for a bad neighbour. Sometimes it can't be helped, but you already know.

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