I cant f’ing lose weight. Help me

[Lesschubtolove]

So I’ve always been slim(ish). My pre baby weight was 54-55kg at 161cm. Measurements, 32d, 25, 35. So I was a comfy 6/8 UK. I didn’t gain weight with my first baby and was back to my pre baby weight probably within 2 weeks. I didn’t gain weight due to horrible anxiety so it wasn’t healthy.
lockdown and I Crept up 2kg to 57kg and couldn’t shed it. Fell pregnant again and ballooned, can’t have been actual weight rather water weight because 2 weeks pp i was 60kg. It took ages but by summer I was down to 57kg / 56.5again. But it’s just crept back on and now I’m 58kg and Im fluctuating up to 59 at points (probably bloating) but I’m doing all the right things and it’s not coming off. My measurements are up and I’m up 2cm on my waist too… Im honestly eating the same as I did prior to getting down to 57.

anyone got any suggestions? I feel so crap. I know it’s not a tremendous amount to lose but I’m not happy in myself right now

It definitely gets harder as we get older and doing the same thing we used to, no longer works. I dont know your age but could you be perimenopausal?
I find fasting helps, I only do it a few times a week where I eat only between the hours of 1pm and 7pm. I try not to eat after 7pm any night even when not fasting. It takes me twice as long to start losing the weight but it does come off

You’re well within a healthy BMI though so maybe it’s just your body has changed post kids and most people gain a little with age as metabolism slows down? At that weight I really wouldn’t worry, just eat healthily and stay active and if you hover around that weight maybe that’s just your natural weight now?

Oh no definitely not pre menopause I’m 32 but it’s exactly that all the tips and tricks ain’t working. I find fasting really hard as it can ramp up my ibs if I don’t eat for a long time

But I got back down to 56.5/57 and now it’s come back… 😭😭😭 I’m just not happy in my skin, I think I look awful

Are you logging everything you eat?

The easiest way for me to lose weight, in a steady, manageable way, is to calculate my TDEE, subtract 300 calories from my maintenance amount and log everything that passes my lips on MyFitnessPal.

I spent my teens and my 20's eating what I wanted, I was a size 6-8. I walked out of hospital three times after having kids a size 8. I'm now late 30's and the last 5 years the weight has crept up. I'm now a size 18 and spent my life been a size 8. It's truly awful. I've done nothing different and don't eat any different. I'm assuming it's age but it sucks.

If you lost weight by calorie deficit, some of that weight will unfortunately be lean muscle. If you weren't doing weight training, a fair proportion of it (at least 20%) will have been lean muscle. Less lean muscle mass means a lower basal metabolic rate....in others words, you need less calories to maintain the weight now than you did before weight loss, hence the weight creeping back on. The way out of this cycle is to put on muscle.

I think you need to throw away your scales. My weight can fluctuate 1-2kg in a day and I cannot see one difference. This all sounds very excessive.

I agree, are you weighing weekly or daily?

It happens as we get older and have babies that our metabolism can slow a bit, so that's probably why.

If you're not happy with your actual figure, then you probably need toning exercises.

But as for trying to get back to your old weight, you'll probably just make yourself miserable, so I'd forget about trying to do that.

This. Fretting about 0.5-1kg is completely pointless- your weight will fluctuate by this much naturally and it's certainly not an amount that would be visible to anyone else.

How are you feeling generally?

I tend not to do calorie counting or logging things, exercise or food, i can get quite obsessional with it . I dealt with an ED twice in my life, lowest weight was 6’ 10 and I used to allow myself 350cals on a day I didn’t exercise and then 450 on a day I worked out. And then other points used to stay in the gym until I burned 1000 cals, so basically it’s a bit triggering.

I’m just consistently 3 kg heavier than my ‘happy’ weight that I got down to post baby 1. But I just don’t feel good, especially belly wise

I get that you're feeling uncomfortable, but you are well within a healthy weight range even at 59kg. I think you need to keep telling yourself this, especially as you mention you have previously had an ED - you need to be really careful around re-triggering that.

If you want to tone up I'd recommend some strength training. Rather than focussing on your weight, just focus on getting stronger.

Our bodies do change a bit as we get older though and it's important to try and accept that and love yourself.

You are very preoccupied with your weight. You say you look awful, you absolutely will not look awful, but with your history, your posts are quite worrying to read and I think you should seek professional help.

I think it’s quite irresponsible if people offer any tips for losing weight knowing OPs history.

Have you seen your GP?

I'd be very surprised if there's not something else going on, if you've gained that much weight and done nothing different.

I do wish people would put information like this in their opening posts.

If you suffer (or have suffered) from an eating disorder, then Mumsnet is really not the place for a thread like this.

Or any internet forum really.

@VirtualRealitee yes I've just had lots of blood tests to rule out all sorts and there's nothing obvious sadly. I'm not peri meno, it's not my thyroid , it's not diabetes or anything else sadly x

If you truly are not doing anything different then you have a medical issue such as a thyroid problem. We don't just pile on weight as we get older through not consuming more calories.

Also your metabolism slowing is a myth. It's stable from 20 to 60 then gradually slows. Build muscle and your metabolism will be more efficient at burning calories.

5kg or 0.7 stone is hardly ‘piling on weight’. OP I think you need to go and speak to a doctor before this turns into an ED again.

this was 13 years ago, but sharing info on why I don’t calorie count, log food or do things like ww or slim world

Funnily enough I was actually weighed at the drs the other week and they actually mentioned losing weight might help my pcos symptoms

And you said you still find it triggering.

Therefore, this thread may damage way more than it may help.

i don’t think so, it’s more that I know I used to obsessively do those things before so now tend to err on the side of caution. Same with ww and Sw.

but suggestions to add some weights or resistance training or intermittent fasting not really. I know things that might trigger me and this isn’t one

I think it’s the thing of why the last 5lb is so hard to lose