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Original poster

23 month age gap !!

39 replies

Surroundedbyfools · 19/02/2023 19:26

Looking for any info, tips or advice on this ? I’ve just found out today that I am pregnant. Unplanned. I feel totally overwhelmed and I feel guilty looking at DS thinking how can I love another as much ? How will we cope ? Will he adjust ok ? Thanks in advance !

OP posts:
quiteathome · 19/02/2023 19:28

17 month age gap for my two. You will be fine. The second slotted in and you just get used to it

quiteathome · 19/02/2023 19:28

And love just expands.

mamabear715 · 19/02/2023 19:31

17 months between my first two as well, @quiteathome It was lovely. My Nan used to always say babies bring their own love with them. So true.
You'll be fine, @Surroundedbyfools

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Greensleevevssnotnose · 19/02/2023 19:32

10months for me it's no biggy

HolidayHeffer · 19/02/2023 19:34

20 months between mine. It's HARD at times but now (at 2.8 and 11 months) it's becoming really fun too.

You will love #2 every bit as much as #1, no question.

Congratulations x

AreBearsCatholic · 19/02/2023 19:36

You’ll have double my age gap. It’s been much easier than I expected.
I thought 24 months was the perfect gap everyone wanted anyway? So you aren’t far off that.

Gardengirl108 · 19/02/2023 19:41

18 months between my brother and sister so was doable in the 1950s. But then a 14 year gap until I arrived so perhaps mum wasn’t so keen after all!

PuttingDownRoots · 19/02/2023 19:44

20 months. Love it.
DD1 was too young to be jealous of DD2.
No school runs with a baby to worry about.
Activities etc easier as they are at a similar stage.

Obviously downsides as well... DD2 (just turning 20) gets annoyed that her sister has more freedom for example!

Aozora13 · 19/02/2023 19:49

There’s 25 months between my 2 eldest and I think it’s a nice age gap. The first few months were a bit of a blur but after my eldest, who was a Velcro cluster feeding nightmare, super-chilled number 2 was a breeze. There was probably slightly more CBeebies than is strictly advised but we did lots of reading and playing games on the sofa while the baby was feeding, and kept the eldest in nursery a couple of days a week to give her continuity and me time with just the baby. They’ve always been great playmates even if there is a fair amount of squabbling. The main issue is that it worked out so well I had another one, and then all hell broke loose!

There is just 12 months between my DH and his brother - now that’s a terrifying age gap!

NoWordForFluffy · 19/02/2023 19:51

Greensleevevssnotnose · 19/02/2023 19:32

10months for me it's no biggy

We have a 13 month gap and while it was intense at times, it wasn't hideous!

23 months isn't a small gap at all; you'll be fine, OP.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 19/02/2023 20:16

It’ll be hard work at first but you’ll be fine - you’ll love your 2nd just the same.
My dd had only 15 months between her 1 and 2 - they’ve always been very close, it’s lovely to see.

gettingalifttothestation · 19/02/2023 20:18

You will be ok. Just hope it's not twins !

DappledThings · 19/02/2023 20:20

I have 22 months, planned. It's a lovely gap.

Wallywobbles · 19/02/2023 20:23

14 months here. Very practical and easy because you won't know any different. If they're the same sex it's another bonus as too small clothes go from one room to other. Did everything at the same time. Liked the same stuff on tv. Entertained each other.

Rainbowclimbinghigh · 19/02/2023 20:24

22 month gap here and was also smaller than planned... I felt so guilty for my entire pregnancy... (Not helped by reaction of my in-laws who were stunned into silence when we told them, and instead of the reassurance I was looking for, in response to DH who said "DC1 will love it", declared "No, she won't." 😯

Guilt carried on for the first few weeks after giving birth (so much so that my midwife was quite worried!)... But then dissipated... And although the first year or two was very hard (routine is key!), it has definitely paid off as DC are the best of friends and wouldn't be without each other 🥰

SeaDee · 19/02/2023 20:24

12 months here

It's hard work but it's also utterly fabulous

Wouldn't have it any other way

Margo34 · 19/02/2023 20:34

HolidayHeffer · 19/02/2023 19:34

20 months between mine. It's HARD at times but now (at 2.8 and 11 months) it's becoming really fun too.

You will love #2 every bit as much as #1, no question.

Congratulations x

@quiteathome "And love just expands." @HolidayHeffer "You will love #2 every bit as much as #1, no question"

How do you not have a favourite though?!

I'm 32w pregnant and that is my worry at the moment - that DC1 will absolutely be my favourite 😆😬 Age gap here will be almost 30m (bigger than we'd hoped - planned for 20m).

pottshrigley · 19/02/2023 20:57

PuttingDownRoots · 19/02/2023 19:44

20 months. Love it.
DD1 was too young to be jealous of DD2.
No school runs with a baby to worry about.
Activities etc easier as they are at a similar stage.

Obviously downsides as well... DD2 (just turning 20) gets annoyed that her sister has more freedom for example!

Same age gap and youngest also twenty.

It was intense at the beginning then brilliant, they've had loads of shared experiences, occasionally fall out, mostly get on.

Iwantyourmidnights · 19/02/2023 21:14

16 month gap here, youngest is only 10 weeks. It's intense but we're adjusting and it really is enjoyable. All the benefits everyone else has mentioned, the little one just slots right in and the newborn phase has been a breeze this time around because it's just our normal at this point. Challenges are some jealousy from the bigger one and littlest struggling to sleep sometimes because the bigger one has zero concept of being quiet. DH and I tend to just take a baby each and divide and conquer!

HolidayHeffer · 19/02/2023 21:34

Margo34 · 19/02/2023 20:34

@quiteathome "And love just expands." @HolidayHeffer "You will love #2 every bit as much as #1, no question"

How do you not have a favourite though?!

I'm 32w pregnant and that is my worry at the moment - that DC1 will absolutely be my favourite 😆😬 Age gap here will be almost 30m (bigger than we'd hoped - planned for 20m).

Show quote history

I genuinely don't favour 1 over the other. When my youngest was born I was very conscious that my eldest was still a baby so was probably more attentive to him in the beginning but that was more about not making him feel like he'd been pushed aside (in hindsight, I don't think he would have anyway, was just my thought process).

I think those who favour one child over another do so because they compare the two. You can't make comparisons, they are individuals.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 19/02/2023 21:35

45 minutes between mine @Surroundedbyfools Wink

Two year age gap is pretty standard. Same between me and my sister and most of the kids we grew up with.

As everyone says, when you have a baby you don't know how you could possibly love another child as much as you love this one. But it just expands.

PurpleButterflyWings · 19/02/2023 21:36

You mean 2 year age gap? And yes it's fine.

MGK · 19/02/2023 21:38

Mine has an exact 21 month age gap. It’s fine, can’t really comment on it.

can’t even remember what life was like before having them both.

GertrudeBell · 19/02/2023 21:40

2 years is pretty normal - considered ideal in fact? You’ll be fine.

NannyGythaOgg · 19/02/2023 21:43

15 months for me. Back in the late 70s, hard at times when they were both babies but the older they got the better it got