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Original poster

23 month age gap !!

39 replies

Surroundedbyfools · 19/02/2023 19:26

Looking for any info, tips or advice on this ? I’ve just found out today that I am pregnant. Unplanned. I feel totally overwhelmed and I feel guilty looking at DS thinking how can I love another as much ? How will we cope ? Will he adjust ok ? Thanks in advance !

OP posts:

ShadowPuppets · 19/02/2023 21:47

20 months here, kids are now 2.5y and 9m. Also a ‘surprise’ baby 2. First six months was incredibly hard work but light at the end of the tunnel is arriving - they’re starting to play together and eldest is so sweet with youngest. The way she makes him giggle is something else.

I know it’s a shock when it’s a surprise and you already have one tiny one but I’m really pleased we did it now :)

Brechdanjamcaws · 19/02/2023 21:52

24 months between mine, and now at 1 & 3 seeing them run around and play together it’s lovely, so so worth it. Highly recommend a baby carrier/ sling so your hands are free to play with / care for the toddler! It’s an adjustment for sure but I’m currently pregnant with #3 and there will be about 26 months between #2 and #3 so it can’t have been that bad! Had a lot of guilt at first while DS1 adjusted and had to share me but I made sure to spend 1-on-1 time with him whenever I could. Don’t feel guilty for using TV when you need to and have a stash of snacks and activities for the toddler. In a lot of ways it was easier going from 1 to 2 than being a new mum because the shock of motherhood was a big change for me. Congratulations!

Tiggytico · 19/02/2023 21:53

14 months here! First took a long time to come along and so the second was a bit of a surprise but not exactly unplanned iykwim.

Was absolutely fine - they are incredibly close and very easy (now teenagers). When I say very easy, obviously we had the normal issues - neither were good sleepers and my youngest was/is a bit of a diva, but I don't think would have been any easier with a bigger age gap.

What will be will be!

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2tired2bewitty · 19/02/2023 21:57

20 months here and it was fine, though I did keep dd at her child minder 3 days a week. There’s also an older one but the gap is bigger.

There’s only 11 months between DH and BIL, and while I don’t think MIL would recommend it, everyone survived.

Thursa · 19/02/2023 22:01

21 months between my boys. They’ve always been the best of friends.

oneuponedown · 19/02/2023 22:12

23 month age gap, we knew we wanted another so not prevented but not planned as such for that gap. Felt the same as you initially.

The feeling wore off further along the preg I got and then as soon as dc2 was born I could barely remember every feeling that. I did have moment of guilt for first few weeks - not spending enough time with one of the other but they then went also as we adjusted. Now they are playing together and dc2 has own personality too if not change it for the world.

It's def tough at times as I forgot the youngest was still a 'baby' and felt bad expecting them to do things when they were still so little and it's really busy but amazing. You will feel the same. Congratulations.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 19/02/2023 22:13

So two years? Isn't that literally the most common age gap?

katmarie · 19/02/2023 22:18

21 months between mine. The amount of space you have in your heart for love just expands, I don't know how it does, it just does.

Mine are 3 and 5 now and are partners in crime, they play together brilliantly, and share all the same toys and books and stuff, clothes have been handed down too. It was really hard at times, dd was 4 months or so when the covid lockdown happened and we were all at home together for a long time, but looking back that allows dd and ds to form a relationship and they are best buds now.

feeona123 · 19/02/2023 22:39

Mine are 20 months but they are 8 and 7 now so I’m way past the baby stage. They sent me grey but wouldn’t have it any other way.

Brechdanjamcaws · 20/02/2023 07:59

Ignore @IDontWantToBeAPie who has nothing of value to contribute to the discussion, no experience and clearly has plenty of time on their hands to try and make others feel crap.

Original poster

Surroundedbyfools · 20/02/2023 15:49

Thanks so much for all the replies. I think it’s just a shocker having a 15 month old I still think of as a little baby. And yeah I’ve ignored to comments basically rudely making out that I’m stupid.

OP posts:

underneaththeash · 20/02/2023 15:50

2 years is a pretty normal age gap IMO.

TheHopefulMum · 20/02/2023 15:55

There is 23 months between my two oldest DC's and honestly it's harder now that their older and can argue with each other!

As babies they were a dream for the most part. The extra bonus having then close together, especially for me now that they are 9 and 7 is that they can participate in most of the same activities etc.

Wilkolampshade · 20/02/2023 16:01

Honestly, it really is a very, very common age gap OP, one a lot of people aim for tbh. Mine were this too.....though I wouldn't say it was deliberate in our case. I know your little one seems tiny atm but honestly, wait till no' 2 comes along... You won't believe how big and grown up they seem then.
Best of luck.

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