If you don't exercise...

[BakerMorning]

Please post here! I've just seen another thread asking how much people exercise per week and everyone's replies are about 8 hours, with 9 mile runs, daily weight sessions etc. I thought I was doing quite well doing 2 runs a week and now feel quite disheartened!

@Pureradio see my post directly above yours

I posted on that thread. I do a lot of exercise.
It makes me feel good, it helps me stay slim, it helps my mental health.

My kids are older teens and I work for myself. I prioritise my health.

I haven't always been like this tho when the kids were little and I worked for other people and had a useless husband I did maybe 10 mins a day. But I started from there and it's built and built.

Habits. Start small.

I've just started couch to 5k again with a friend and we go for a run once a week on a Saturday morning. That is literally all the exercise I have time for at the moment apart from the odd walk at the weekend. I'm working 50 hours a week plus in a new job so barely see my family anyway. I prioritise them in my time off.

You might find the book "Exercised" by Dan Lieberman interesting - it's about why, despite our bodies needing movement, it's strange to do exercise for its own sake and thus why it's not surprising many people find it so difficult to actually do. Basically if you're a hunter-gatherer it makes sense to be as lazy as possible, generally only doing the activity needed to stay alive plus social activities like dancing. For hunter gatherers exercising for the sake of exercise is a waste of hard earned calories, and isn't needed because the demands of daily life require them to be active enough to keep their bodies healthy. However, this disinclination to do unnecessary movement is a problem in our modern world where we can get through our lives, including getting far more calories than we need, with the bare minimum of movement.

He also argues that exercise is harder and less rewarding for people who are unfit than for people who are, which can be a huge barrier to getting fit. If you're significantly overweight you have to work harder to move and you're more at risk of injury. And while the body rewards exercise by releasing various chemicals (endorphins, endo-cannabinoids etc), this is much more pronounced in fit people than unfit people. So while the benefits of movement are huge, the barriers are also real, and unfortunately the barriers get higher the more unfit you are.

Lieberman argues that we're likely to have most success staying active by making movement either a social thing or something we need to do as part of our daily lives. Simple things like cycling to the shops or walking to do school pick ups all add up over the course of the week. Parenting does make it harder but as children get older it gets easier to do something during their activities, (I fit in 25 minutes HIIT/weights in the gym while my son has his swimming lesson, and go climbing or for a run while he has a climbing lesson.) This works really well because it becomes part of the weekly routine and makes use of time where I'd otherwise be sitting not doing much.

The building up small habits point mentioned upthread is also really powerful - just a few squats while the kettle boils can add up to a surprising number per week! I'm not going to say how much exercise I do per week as that wouldn't be in the spirit of the thread, but I started small and built up from there and now feel so much better for it.

I get up and get the kids ready for school, then I work all day, then I pick them up and help with their homework and cook. We eat about 6.30 and I spend an hour doing dishes/laundry etc while they play before bedtime. Light out at 8.30 and I’m left with 90 minutes before I go to bed myself - and I can’t go out to exercise because I have the kids upstairs in bed. Not that I have the energy, because by this point I’ve been on the go for nearly 12 hours and I’m shattered.

How are people finding the time to do all these workouts? Especially on a week day?

I do go for a walk at the weekend or do some gardening, or I take my mum’s dog for a walk. Usually with kids in tow. As pp have said, if DP and I want some alone time we have to juggle it, we certainly don’t have 15 hours a week to exercise as some posters claim to do!

Depends on your stage of life. That thread might not have been younger women with young kids.

I’m mid 50s, adult DDs, one at home. I obv have way more time than when they were little. I wfh all the time now so I joined a gym to get myself out the house and moving as I missed my commute. Turns out I really enjoy it. A couple of classes and a couple of gym sessions a week.

Like most debates on MN - breast Vs bottle, natural Vs CS etc - the one side rarely understands the other and happily makes sweeping statements that bear no relation to reality. People get angry or defensive or feel guilt or anxiety. And the reality is that people are quietly just getting on with it in unremarkable ways.

For example, I easily do 15hrs a week. I'm not obsessed or addicted. I'm not lying. I also work full time, have two children, a husband who does shifts and isn't around much and have plenty of other hobbies. A previous poster says she reads instead like it's impossible to do both. I read an inordinate amount. I also write, play piano, sing in a choir, garden, do jigsaws and so on. Exercise fits in easily because it's simply something I do. How many hours TV do people watch a week? I never watch television so the couple of hours a night people might spare for that, I have free. That's 14hrs a week. I also choose to cycle to work so that's 6hrs a week before adding in structured workouts. We go family swimming twice a week so that's another two hours. Weights workouts are easy to slot in. I do them while dinner is cooking, pausing to stir between sets or while the DC are using the bathroom in an evening/morning or I get up half an hour before everybody and do it then. I run while the DC cycle. I drop the DC at a club or a friend's and run for that hour instead of idling in the car or wandering the shops or whatever else I might do on rest days while the DC are at a club. None of the above is supposed to sound like anybody else should be doing what I am doing or that it's somehow easy, but I suppose, I'm trying to point out that the assumptions are rarely accurate. I rarely have to sacrifice time to do any of it. It's just part of the day.

In my late teens and early twenties, I never did any structured exercise and if somebody had suggested 15hrs a week, I'd have been agog at the very idea. It was just alien to me and sounded like it would have to be a major commitment or obsession. Nowadays, it's just our norm. It's a commute, something to do while the cottage pie is in the oven, a family hobby, a way to pass an hour while waiting for the DC.

I've been on both sides: non-exerciser and 15hrs a week exerciser. Neither scenario has made me a fundamentally different person and I attach no value judgements to either.

That's a really interesting post Una.

I think what people need to remember from that other thread is that exercise is a hobby for a lot of people on there. You absolutely don't need to do hours and hours of exercise. NHS guide lines are 150 minutes of moderate activity a week and strength exercises twice a week. Anything beyond that should be because you enjoy it.

People generally enjoy talking about their hobbies so if someone posts asking about exercise, all the people that really enjoy running etc are going to jump on it and skew the answers. It's not lying or stealth boasting necessarily.

Some of them add up to like 15 hours a week, with a job and children, how?

DH is out doing 8 hours of an audax (cycling) today. He works PT, anyway, but I work FT. Teen DS has worked this morning & is talking about going out PokemonGoing rest of day which will keep him on his feet for hours. I should clean house (physical activity) & I may answer emails or clean my car (physical activity) & I should go swimming (brisk walk there, swim, brisk walk back). If DH doesn't go shopping after 2pm (yes he's insane to start at 6am) then I will go to supermarket (more cycling, physical activity) because we are low on staples.

It's Sunday so my lazy day. We couldn't live like this when we had a lot of little kids around. Workdays I do active travel for part of the journey & go for a walk or swim.

Sat and Sun: up and out at 7am so back before taking kids to football.

Mid week: up at 5 and get an hour in before waking kids up at 6. DH exercises at 8pm. Luckily I’m a lark and he’s an owl.

Cards on table - I am an exerciser. I run daily. However, the amount has varied over the years depending on my circumstances.

Anyone with small children or caring commitments is going to find it harder to fit in, as is anyone with a long commute. I don't think society acknowledges how hard it is for some women to find the time. I also think we undersell the activity involved in running round after small kids. I have a colleague with a toddler. My daily step count (taking out exercise) is half!

If you don't want to do more exercise stop reading now. My intention is not to make anyone feel lectured at I promise. However, if you'd like to but just struggle to get going, some things that helped me are below.

I found the only thing that helped consistently keep things up was building it in to daily routine. If you have to carve out time to exercise (eg Tuesday evening at the gym) it's so much harder to find the motivation if your tired and had a rubbish day. However, walking/cycling to work (or part of the journey if it's too long) can quickly become your new normal.

If you don't have a babysitter, activity at home can work. I was a single parent so did skipping for a while in my kitchen.

Think about your body clock. I hate getting up so don't plan exercise for first thing. I'm often up at 5 out of necessity but not to exercise!

Personally I avoid gyms. Despite my fitness they just make me feel inferior. Who needs that?

Get a step counter if you have small children. You will be amazed at how many steps you clock up on the go.

Count housework. Going up and down stairs a couple of times sorting laundry is exercise. Depending on the size of your house, so is vacuuming. Deep cleaning is definitely exercise as anyone who's ever been left a hot, sweaty mess after bleaching and scrubbing the shower knows!

Exercise is weird in that the more you do, the more energy and drive you have for it, but every little helps and women are particularly bad at underestimating how much exercise they take running round after everyone else. Sometimes remembering that and feeling better about it can help you get the motivation for exercise that is about you rather than meeting someone else's needs.

Sat and Sun: up and out at 7am so back before taking kids to football.

Mid week: up at 5 and get an hour in before waking kids up at 6. DH exercises at 8pm. Luckily I’m a lark and he’s an owl.

I would really struggle getting up at those times day in/day out particularly if I had a late night the evening before. Are you just able to cope with very little sleep?

exercise is a hobby for a lot of people ... People generally enjoy talking about their hobbies

Very good point. I used to be one of those people - not gonna lie, I loved it! And now I do ZERO exercise, which I don't love but it should make any couch potatoes reading this thread feel a bit better 😁 I can't because I have ME-CFS and a half-hour walk can put me in bed for days after. Sometimes I do walk more, but rarely, as these days the cost is so high. I literally do nothing, not even housework.

I stay much the same size (I'm fat, but not a wobbling lard mountain), which I put down to the fact I don't diet either. My blood pressure & cholesterol are gently rising, as you might expect.

When I started getting ill, I had no idea what was wrong and was then misdiagnosed for years - so I tried to exercise my way out of it. I'd advise against pushing yourself if your body's complaining. However, humans are built to walk so, if you can - do that.

That is really interesting ! I used to have to exercise 2 hrs a day, one hour was mucking out 4 stables, sweeping a yard and poopicking 3 acres, followed by an hours dog walk up and down very steep terrain. If you had asked I would have said I did very little exercise because it was something I had to do. Now I do no exercise I realise how much that actually was !

I found the only thing that helped consistently keep things up was building it in to daily routine. If you have to carve out time to exercise (eg Tuesday evening at the gym) it's so much harder to find the motivation if your tired and had a rubbish day. However, walking/cycling to work (or part of the journey if it's too long) can quickly become your new normal.

I agree with this. I'm on holiday & have done lots of sightseeing, clocked up 15k steps per day the last 4 days.

What a very sane post, @Resilience 💐

@hoardod I’m asleep by 9.30. I sleep between 7-8 hours so enough for me.

"It’s always about choices and investment in future health. Everyone can do something."

@BigButtons I have to disagree. Everyone knows that exercising is good for you but not everyone can exercise.

I have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and anxiety, whilst I know full well that these conditions would be vastly improved with even a little exercise I have this complete mental block that I can't get over.

I want to be fitter and stronger for myself and my kids but I just cannot do it which leads to my anxiety getting worse.

It's a horrible way to live but to hear folk be so dismissive of the reasons people can't exercise just makes you feel like a worthless lump.

@MrsMurphyIWish does that not make it hard to fit in time with your DH during the week? I'm assuming he exercises for 45/60mins & has to get back from wherever, shower etc?

I do nothing OP. Tried C25K but caused injuries. Now I try and aim to get my steps in 3x a week and try to be genuinely active when not working.

We have about an hour together mid week - after dinner and before I go to bed and he exercises. Tbh, being both teachers, we have never had a relationship where we spend time together mid week. Couple, and now family time, is spent at the weekends and holidays.

@BakerMorning - I'm sorry my thread made you feel bad. I started it to try and gain some perspective on my new exercise routine. It's been really useful for me.

@MrsMurphyIWish fair enough I guess I just wonder when people find the time to be intimate! 😆

I only watching TV after the dc have gone to bed & DH might be cooking something for the next day & I will bake something, clean up. We can't cook from scratch every evening due to time so generally do a bit of prep in the evenings. I watch tv whilst doing it. I am going to incorporate some squats & lunges into that time.

Lol at all the posters saying they don’t exercise ‘apart from a dog walk every day/a bit of Pilates/a weekly yoga class.

This all counts!

Does Ealing the dog count as exercise? If so I do that, but if not I don't exercise at all. Just don't enjoy it and I've tried lots of different forms of it. Need to do something as at 43 it's catching up with me but what?