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Original poster

What does an 11-13 year old play with in the garden?

72 replies

InsufficientMum · 17/02/2023 11:46

DS is not interested at all in football.

He is not the most sensible of children and will do nonsensical things to make other (younger) children laugh. Because they are younger, they all go along with it and no one will tell him to stop. I've said he's not allowed out to play this week unless he has a 'plan' of what they're going to play.

I've suggested spike ball, frisbee or bowls, all of which he turned down. The younger kids won't play basketball.

OP posts:

gingercat02 · 17/02/2023 17:51

Bit controlling OP! Surely at that age they can decide how to fill their day themselves? If he's outside I would be delighted he isn't on a screen.
Tennis, badminton, trampoline, swingball, garden jenja (and ours were football mad)

Yfory · 17/02/2023 17:54

Trampoline, swingball, football (a ball is always fun - no need to be actually keen on football as a sport) tennis ball,
Natural stuff like stones to play jacks with, hopscotch, making dens
And quit being controlling about a plan. Kids need to find ways to have fun.

GoldenGorilla · 17/02/2023 17:54

I think you might get more useful replies if you post a new thread explaining what his limits/abilities are and asking for suggestions of things he might enjoy? Only on here you’re going to get lots of comments from parents of neurotypical children with average balance who don’t really get it. My 6 year old is autistic and the way he plays/toys he likes are very different to the average (I know you haven’t specified what challenges your son has, just an example).

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Families

StanleyBriggs · 17/02/2023 18:08

No help for the garden but we found mainstream trampolining lessons at our local leisure centre good. They are pretty low demand socially, and a small group with a good mix of ages and abilities. Kids are expected to help spot when it's not their turn but parents can help out with that, and there's nothing as good as a bit of trampolining to calm down their system so it's easier for them to wait for their next turn.

SeanMean · 17/02/2023 18:13

Doing TikTok dances and playing with the dog!

AmyandPhilipfan · 17/02/2023 18:28

I get it OP, my 14 year old still loves playing outside but does things like climb walls with big drops on the other side, go into neighbours' private gardens when repeatedly told not to, encourage his younger sibling and her friends to play 'battle' games or races then ensures they can't win so one or both end up upset. He mainly has sword fights with our 11 year old neighbour using sticks but has upset that boy many times by being too rough and ending up hurting him. As it's mainly just the one boy he has to play with I usually let him get on with it (though constantly tell him to leave the two younger ones alone as they're always fine before he joins in!) but if there were several children I think I'd have to stop him from playing out there. Part of my boy's problems is he always wants to be the best. So games have to be done on his terms and if he feels he's 'losing' he can become quite angry. Fortunately he's quite small for his age so is actually shorter than his 11 year old friend so has never hurt him badly.

BeeBB · 17/02/2023 18:32

Not much in the garden. Basketball, messing about with a football and occasionally on the trampoline with either a football or a basketball.

At 12 -13 he was rarely in the garden playing as such as was going out with friends once they got to secondary.

SiliconHeaven · 17/02/2023 18:36

Their phone

Faz469 · 17/02/2023 18:39

We have an archery set for dss from decathlon. We all love it but I'd get some arm guards as I've wrecked my arm on the string before today

Needmorelego · 17/02/2023 19:00

Ok some of these ideas might sound a bit 'babyish' but he might get some fun out of them...
Would he do dance routines? Have a cheap portable battery powered CD player and a pile of cheesy disco CDs from a charity shop/cex (if you don't already have some).
Jumping around chasing bubbles.
Do the children know any of the old playground games - What's The Time Mr Wolf, Sticky Glue 40-40* etc)
How about he creates exercise courses they have to do using a bunch of cheap playground toys (bit early in the year but Poundland always sell loads). For example they have run around some plastic cones, do 4 star jumps, jump in and out a hula hoop, back around the cones balancing a tennis ball on a racket - that type of thing.
The sort of daft thing me and my friends would have played with equipment like that would be to do the course but pretend it's a dog show or horse show so you would 'trot' around the cones or whatever making silly pony noises. Completely daft - but fun and the younger kids will love it.
Could they build dens out of a clothes horse/old sheets and pretend to be explorers?
(* Regional names for playground games might vary 🙂)

Original poster

InsufficientMum · 17/02/2023 19:09

Would he do dance routines? No way, hates music!
Jumping around chasing bubbles. Oh that might still work! I think we had a stomp rocket bubble maker, probably still do.

Do the children know any of the old playground games - What's The Time Mr Wolf
Honestly don't know, will suggest it. I have no idea what 40-40 and sticky glue are though!

How about he creates exercise courses - I think that already sounds too complicated for remembering all the steps. He doesn't really do pretend.

There's not really anywhere den-worthy where I can keep an eye on them. Will have a think.

OP posts:

JustKeepBuilding · 17/02/2023 19:17

What about an indoor trampoline that DS could use outdoors but take inside after use? We have a bellicon one that DSs use inside but you could use it outside. You can get carry cases for them.

Needmorelego · 17/02/2023 19:19

Oh dear... I'm not sure what to suggest.
Does he just like being outside but not really doing an outside activity? If that makes sense?
Would he sit on a blanket building Lego, drawing in a sketch book, doing small woodwork kits or something?
Is he expected to be 'in charge' of the younger ones and keep them occupied (or do they just want him to play because he's older and therefore cool)? It's a bit rotten if he is expected to find something to 'do' with the younger ones. I was often perfectly happy being outside in the fresh air but didn't want to 'play' but sit and read a book.
('Sticky Glue' is a version of Tag/It. '40-40' a version of hide and seek)

CheeseSquared · 17/02/2023 20:25

Parkour? There's a centre near here and they are inclusive. They teach safe movement but challenge your body.

Our trampoline club takes kids with additional needs - they can even compete if they want to in a disability section- for less competition.

10in10 · 17/02/2023 20:57

If you've got a couple of a trees you could try a slack line ...

Walkie talkies? A timer?

My kids also have the archery set from decathlon and it's fab but beware that the one we have does have proper pointed arrows so that might not be safe with the younger children.

Yopy · 17/02/2023 21:01

Pogo stick?

Beachhutnut · 17/02/2023 21:11

I can't imagine that age wanting to stay in the garden for long when they can explore the wider world but during lockdown a beach tent can win handy with big cushions to accessorize with to turn I to a parent free zone....

Saz12 · 17/02/2023 21:46

DC is similar age & it does get hard to think of garden activities.

Juggling, hula-hoop, poi? All need concentration / coordination but are weirdly addictive. Minimal equipment that’s easy to store indoors. Look on YouTube.
Airtrack is more portable than a trampoline, but less springy/bouncy. Depends if he’s keen to learn tumbly stunty things.
Slack line is incredibly difficult if your balance is average (or worse!).
Foam ball and a net for a volleyball type game.

Original poster

InsufficientMum · 18/02/2023 10:39

@Needmorelego Does he just like being outside but not really doing an outside activity?
Yes, this is it. He likes being outside with the others but doesn't do well with "activities". He's currently grouchy with me as we're at the park and he's bored out of his mind riding in circles on his scooter but won't go and get his skateboard because he's "not
good at it".
He's not expected to be in charge of the younger ones and I've told his parents this but they do look up to him and like that he plays with them even though he's so much older than them, so tend to do what he says. Even if they shouldn't.

There's a slack line here but he wont try it.

OP posts:

Needmorelego · 18/02/2023 10:50

@InsufficientMum sounds difficult to know what to suggest.
What does he enjoy doing indoors? Can it be adapted to be done outside?
I know you said it's a communal garden but are you allowed raised growing beds or those mini green houses? Some places have community gardens/allotments and they have organised groups for children so he could learn some skills there and then grow his own at home (I know you said he doesn't like 'activities' but he might be thinking in his mind that means sport which doesn't sound his thing).

stayathomer · 18/02/2023 10:57

decathlon have really cheap archery sets if he likes archery?

Op it sounds tough for him although I get it’s hard for people trying to supervise sports too when someone isn’t what they’re used to. I feel like I just want to give him a hug. Hope you both get sorted x

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/02/2023 10:59

Ours swings in a hammock. Just a cheap camping one from decathlon and we bolted some hooks to the walls.

Basketball hoop for sure.

Trampoline maybe?

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