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Original poster

What does an 11-13 year old play with in the garden?

72 replies

InsufficientMum · 17/02/2023 11:46

DS is not interested at all in football.

He is not the most sensible of children and will do nonsensical things to make other (younger) children laugh. Because they are younger, they all go along with it and no one will tell him to stop. I've said he's not allowed out to play this week unless he has a 'plan' of what they're going to play.

I've suggested spike ball, frisbee or bowls, all of which he turned down. The younger kids won't play basketball.

OP posts:
ChrisPPancake · 17/02/2023 13:03

Cricket, swingball or gardening here. When I can actually get him outside that is.

WashAsDelicates · 17/02/2023 13:07

Ours had pretty much outgrown swingball by this stage. They would have played it but it was to small for them, and the adult size one broke the first time we played with it.

What worked for all ages was a badminton set we got from Decathlon. They could play seriously or be as silly as they liked. It was too flimsy to swing from, yet tough enough to last several years. I think it's probably a good choice for a teenager who just wants too muck about and be silly with his younger siblings.

2bazookas · 17/02/2023 13:27

Mine played golf on a course they'd made round the garden. The clubs were from a jumble sale and the course was a series of empty bean tins sunk into the ground.

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Original poster
InsufficientMum · 17/02/2023 13:47

How much area do you need for swingball? Can you shorten the length if necessary?

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 17/02/2023 13:50

He shouldn't be in the garden unsupervised at all if he is being so badly behaved. Is he part of any organised groups? It sounds like he needs a positive outlet for all his energy.

OhNoNotThatAgain · 17/02/2023 13:50

InsufficientMum · 17/02/2023 12:24

Smashing stuff with sticks, pulling branches off trees, throwing stuff around including onto neighbours roof, then not stopping one of the younger ones balancing on the top of a 2m wall reaching across a 1.5m gap with a branch to bash the roof tiles to try to get it down.... not stopping one of the younger one's trespassers on another neighbour's property and smashing a window.

@Frangipanitime they're not my kids. My DD plays basketball or badminton with the other girl or helps her watch her little sister.

Can't get a trampoline or do gardening as it's a communal garden.
He won't skateboard or rollerblade (balance issues)

He might like giant Jenga, good idea.

They aren't 'nonsensical things' - some of them are just plain vandalism.

AWaferThinMint · 17/02/2023 13:51

We have a trampoline, climbing frame, and tree swing.

Redebs · 17/02/2023 13:57

At that age a lot of kids like woodwork or other crafts. Need very close supervision with tools though and might not be suitable for mixed ages.
Does he have kids his own age to hang out with? What do they do?
Not much fun for him if it's just younger, smaller children. He's bound to act like a twit in that scenario.

Lemonademoney · 17/02/2023 14:01

I was going to suggest a pogo stick but maybe not if he struggles with balance. Basketball is a hit here as is skateboarding. Mine has a punch bag thing in the garage he can pound away at too but he barely uses it

Paperplanesfly · 17/02/2023 14:03

My 13 spends all their free time in the garden even in the rain. Plays basketball, plays fetch with the dog, practises rugby, kicks a football about, skateboards.

Original poster
InsufficientMum · 17/02/2023 14:04

@OhNoNotThatAgain yes, I know and I have told him that he is just as much to blame by being there even though he personally didn't damage anything. That's why I've said he needs to have an idea of what they're going to do before he goes out.

Unfortunately @AWaferThinMint I can't put anything out that can't be packed away at the end of the day.

@ApolloandDaphne he has boundaries (has to stay within sight of the kitchen window) and 99% of the time sticks to them. But it's hard when the younger kids are allowed further than he is. I do let him go further when his younger sister is with him. He goes to one sports club, might be able to start another in the summer. He did want to go to another one, but they won't take him.

OP posts:
Original poster
InsufficientMum · 17/02/2023 14:08

@Redebs no, he has no friends his own age. The others who play with him are 5,5,6,6,6,7,8,& 9. The kids from his class are often out playing football, but they've never let him join in and now he doesn't want to.

OP posts:
Cookiemama123 · 17/02/2023 14:09

Anyone split from their partner and got a child together ? could do with some help please

philautia · 17/02/2023 14:46

The children he is playing with are a LOT younger than him. Is there no one closer to his own age nearby?

Original poster
InsufficientMum · 17/02/2023 14:59

Yes, they're all out playing football together right now. All the kids his age in the village.

OP posts:
2reefsin30knots · 17/02/2023 15:17

Does he have additional needs OP? There might be some inclusive sports teams he could join. Playing out just sounds like it doesn't totally work for him.

OhNoNotThatAgain · 17/02/2023 15:18

Cookiemama123 · 17/02/2023 14:09

Anyone split from their partner and got a child together ? could do with some help please

Perhaps it would be better to start your own thread? Any replies to you will get confused with replies to the existing thread otherwise.

Original poster
InsufficientMum · 17/02/2023 15:31

There might be some inclusive sports teams he could join.🤣🤣🤣 what planet do you live on?

Playing out just sounds like it doesn't totally work for him.
I know. However these kids are the only friends he has, the only ones who will (and have ever been willing to) play with him. I can't forbid him that.

OP posts:
2reefsin30knots · 17/02/2023 15:35

Well, I am a Special Needs teacher (autism/ADHD/SEMH etc) and would be able to signpost you to some stuff in my area. However, I do appreciate that provision is patchy and it sounds like you might be quite rural.

PandaG · 17/02/2023 15:36

Really depends on where you live re inclusive sports. I'm in a major city and have taken friend's child to their football training. Completely inclusive, mainly cognitive disabilities but some physical disabilities too. I almost cried with just how lovely and affirming it was, for everyone. Child also attends inclusive dance classes.

JustKeepBuilding · 17/02/2023 15:46

Obviously what is available differs depending on where you live but there are inclusive sports sessions. For example, ability counts football sessions/teams. I also know of swimming, rugby, gymnastics, tennis, athletics, dance, multi sports sessions.

Original poster
InsufficientMum · 17/02/2023 16:17

@JustKeepBuilding sorry, sore topic. Thought I'd found one for him but they called back this afternoon and said he can't go and people like him cause problems in the group when the others have to wait because he's distracted by something. That it would be better if he tried a different sport 😫He wouldn't want to do any of those on your list except swimming, but it's too expensive.

OP posts:
JustKeepBuilding · 17/02/2023 17:24

Perhaps if you post what DS would like and roughly where you are someone may be able to suggest somewhere.

Ski Centres often have disability sessions if that would appeal. Although not specific disability sessions climbing is often inclusive.

Do you claim DLA? And have you looked at any grants e.g. Family Fund can sometimes fund clubs?

Original poster
InsufficientMum · 17/02/2023 17:38

He skis with DH when we can get away on holiday but that's obviously time limited and something he can do a week at a time rather than regularly.

He wants to try archery but they are the ones who just refused to take him. Technically they're probably not allowed to as it's organised by the council but considering the safety aspect I wanted to speak to them first. There is one inclusive martial arts club near us but he's not disabled enough for it yet not abled (for want of a better word) enough for the standard group.

Climbing was a disaster - he panics and blanks out as soon as he's a few feet off the ground.

OP posts:
JustKeepBuilding · 17/02/2023 17:41

If DS enjoys skiing, there are many adaptive skiing/snow sports sessions across the country.

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