Leave London for safety

[padsi1975]

Hi. I live in nice enough part of East London. Good primaries and a few good state comprehensives. Very very nice neighbours, easy commute to work. I like London although increasingly find it too busy and noisy (think I'm noise phobic). However, the thing that worries me the most is safety for my children as they get older and more independent. The young teenage son of a neighbour was mugged on his way to school (for a rubbish old phone). DH's friends teenage daughter was sexually assaulted on a weekend afternoon, returning from the nearby shop. A friend who grew up in London says he got mugged a number of times as a teenager. Is this something that I have to accept is likely to happen to my children if we stay here? Surely this is unusual and doesn't happen elsewhere? My friend is a teacher and THREE of her students have been stabbed to death over the last 10 years. She's not from here and says her teacher friends in her home country have never experienced anything like that (and I suspect teachers outside of London would say the same)? I wonder if me/DH have become desensitised to the crime from living here for so long and are doing wrong by our children by staying here. My 11 year old asked to go to the shop yesterday and I said no as my main concern was him being mugged. Am I being paranoid? I can see a lot of benefits for the children by staying in London but this safety issue preys on my mind a lot. Thanks.

I live in S London and brought up my DC here. I feel it’s very safe. My teens were happy to travel around by themselves. Perhaps if your DC are a little vulnerable and likely to be targeted for gang membership or drug carrying, then it might be less so.

@Seasonofthewitch83 are you in Woolwich/ Plumstead area? Sounds very much like where I lived!

I lived in York for five years, during which I had two bikes nicked and I was pickpocketed for a cigarette case, and one of my friends in a second floor flat was burgled via her balcony for her laptops and phone while she was in the shower. That's supposedly a "safe" place.
I lived in south London for 5 years and I've never seen or been the victim of any crime.
It's all relative but there's crime and danger everywhere.

Totally agree with this.
Had to laugh at the "Move to Sheffield, no crime here" post!

It's just down to individual experience - I moved to London for Uni from a quiet town in Sussex and stayed here. My family (still in Sussex) think there's violence all around me all the time, but me, my kids (now in their late teens) and my husband have never experienced any here - and we've lived in some pretty dodgy areas over the last 30-odd years! The worst I've had is my bag stolen from under my chair in a pub 20 years ago.

At the same time, I can point to the local town newspaper, which regularly has stabbings happening there, despite my family's protestations that it's much safer.

Of course there's likely to be more in London, as there are just more people, but otherwise I've found some lovely communities and less judgement and small mindedness from people here than I experienced in Sussex.

I live near a small town in the Westcountry. In the last 18 months there have been 4 stabbings (2 of which were fatal), numerous drug raids, muggings and 2 pubs have lost their licences due to fights and spikings on their premises. As PP said bad things can happen everywhere.

I feel a lot safer when in London as I’m always surrounded by so many people.

That. I'm very comfortable in London at night, walking back to the station after meeting friends there. At the other end of the journey, walking home in my very quiet and 'safe' semi rural small town, I'm really uneasy. There's no-one else around, the place is dead, and there'd be no-one to witness anything happening to me.

I still think the pros of London outweighs the cons for teens. Perhaps teens are less likely to be mugged in rural locations because they have to be ferried everywhere by car.

Shropshire is in the area of the West Midlands.

London has a larger population than half the countries in Europe (including Norway, Switzerland, Ireland, the Baltic states, all the Balkans, etc.) Of course there is crime.

It's not bad where we are in SE, I don't really worry about it. I didn't worry about it when I lived in Brixton either, as PP said there were always people around and you just had to be a bit street smart.

I'd be much more worried moving somewhere smaller and teen DC getting into drugs/alcohol because there's nothing else to do and it's very normalised.

Abbey Wood!

I now live where I grew up in a suburban area of Kent. But I lived for 20 years in SE London where my kids were born.

My hometown feels less safe than it did growing up - same crimes as SE London. There are huge numbers of Lewisham and Croydon council tenants being 'sold' to our council to house and frankly this level of deprivation has changed my home town significantly.

The healthcare is worse. The education attainment is often worse and most of the locals have small mindedness, racism abounds and frankly I would much rather still be in London. I have to drive everywhere, my teens cannot get about without Mum taxi.

I do however have a lovely home with hardly any mortgage in a lovely part of town with lovely neighbours who all look out and help each other.

I think you need more reasons than those you stated to move out.

I moved out partly for this reason, and glad I did.

I looked up crime stats for my old area in east London and where I was moving to. It was very stark how much less crime there is here.

You seem to be able to acknowledge that your local violent crime is linked to county lines but you don’t acknowledge the knife crime in London is mostly linked to gangs. The risk of your kids getting embroiled in it is exactly the same.

A lower population does not equate to a lower chance of experiencing violent crime. There might be more “wrong uns” in London compared to your small town but there are also more “right uns”.

@Seasonofthewitch83 😄 It was a very accurate description, not many places can be that bad can they!? Such a shame because it used to be a nice area when I was growing up.

There are some nicer areas of AW but they seem to keep getting burgled - the lovely community cafe in Lesnes Abbey seems to be routinely targeted.

Thanks for all the replies. Bit of a mixed bag. I dont personally feel unsafe and, in 20 years living here, have nver been a victim of crime. Its more that I hear about crime and that makes me nervous for my children. But, when I think about it, I probably feel safer in London than in many places and always have. Lots and lots to love about the place. Maybe I am over thinking it. Thanks again for the replies and perspectives.

Sorry, I don't have time to read all responses, but just wanted to mention that if you move to a rural area or a place with poor public transport, you'll end up being your kids' taxi for many years. And then you'll worry, once they are old enough to drive.

Whereas my kids, who grew up in London, started taking the bus, the tube, the train from the time they started secondary school. Nothing ever happened to them.

I don't feel unsafe here in London, I've lived here for 35+ years and the last time I experienced crime was having a parcel stolen from outside my door a few years ago, and I've been pickpocketed in the distant past. I'm more streetwise now and never use bags without a zip, keep my hand on it etc and it's not been an issue since. I've know one person who was mugged for a phone and a few people who have had phones snatched by passing cyclists (a big issue in this area). But nothing very violent like stabbings. I've always assumed they're a bit localised to particular social groups.

For us, the cultural and other opportunities outweigh any extra risks - we make the most of being in London and do a lot of things here that aren't offered elsewhere. I think if you're not so bothered about those aspects of being in London, then you may as well move somewhere cheaper and safer.