People on their own sitting at a table on a train

[Theelephantinthecastle]

Can anyone explain why they do this?

Just got on a train with my two kids - we joined a lady on her own at a table, she looks daggers at me. I realise it's not fun sharing a table with two young kids but why then sit at a table on your own? You are so much more likely to be joined by a family group! When I am on my own, I always prefer an airline style seat as I am much less likely to be joined by a family.

Is it just the triumph of optimism?

You have said that your kids are fairly ferral, maybe that's why she's pissed off?

A wise man once told me that kids are like farts - you only like your own.

Maybe the train was less packed when she got on, and she fancied a table seat. She was probably hoping no one would need to sit at her table.

I also said that we have the train thing down - they watch a movie with headphones and eat their lunch. I avoid peak times as well this way.

What's so great about sitting at a table seat on your own? Unless you really must work on your laptop or have a huge messy meal in front of you, or travelling in a really empty train you, will likely get people to join the table. Then you are stuck there, your knees are hitting the knees/feet of the people in front of you, you are forced to avoid eye contact, overhear their conversations etc etc etc. Tables are just so much better for groups / families travelling together

But I kinda agree - @PumpkinQueen1 - in that I would sit in an airline seat on my own in order to stand a better chance of avoiding kids.

I like to sit at a table but I know that if the train gets busy then other people will sit with me.

Personally, I try to book a single (or one of a twin) in first class so it's not an issue for me, but if I have to use a local train for some reason it's usually short enough a journey that I don't need space to work.

A four seater table wouldn't enable me to work if someone was sat next to me because they'd see what I was doing.

I always look for a table so I can work and have a bit more leg space (bad knee).

I'm perfectly prepared so share a table but will admit my heart sinks a little bit if kids join me.

Clearly this woman is rude though because I wouldn't have been rude and I absolutely would not have a conversation on speaker in public.

I'm confused.

Unless you've bought (and booked) all four table seats, of course other people are going to sit on the other seats. It's a train. Public transport. Public.

I assume your "anywhere, not just on trains" comment is about, for example, cafes? If a cafe is busy, would you prefer people stand to have their coffee/lunch rather than take the free seats at the table you are already sitting at? Or turn on their heel and find another cafe with not just free seats but free tables?

I have approached couples as well as singletons in busy cafes with 'are these seats free?'. And yes, I think it is fine to then seat myself there if that seat is indeed free, just as I think it's fine for others to seat themselves on the free seats at a table I am occupying.

If you want to sit in splendid isolation without being bothered by the great unwashed, might I suggest you travel by private car and have your coffee at home or at your desk? You seem unsuited to sharing public spaces.

It isn't that she minds being joined, it's likely specifically about the kids. The assumption that they'll be loud, messy, talk to her etc

I totally get that. That's kinda my point - if I am on my own, I wouldn't sit at a table to avoid sharing with a family.

If you asked if the seats were free, I'd expect you to take the seats, not start rearranging the table to fit on your banquet for all the kids etc.

I'd possibly do this with DS and leave either the seat opposite them or next to them free depending layout. I wouldn't dream of taking over the whole table with several kids and all the noise that entails. If I was the single person, I'd assume you were trying to push me off

I prefer to sit with a table but my seat is my seat so the other seats are for anyone else. I don’t expect to have the whole table to myself. No idea why she gave you daggers. It’s public transport and the clue is in the title, Public .

I'd be pissed off if a family joined me on a table of 4. I wouldn't mind a grown up, but snacking, bickering, children - I have enough of those of my own.

And no, I wouldn't give up a space for a family if I'd booked it. (I might if it was a mother with twin toddlers possibly).

I do find parents with young children are often really entitled though - maybe I was the same when mine were young - but you're not entitled to any space any more than I am I'm afraid. (and don't get me started on bowling down the pavement at me on scooters while mum looks on adoringly). .

I'd be pissed off if a family joined me on a table of 4. I wouldn't mind a grown up, but snacking, bickering, children - I have enough of those of my

You can be pissed off all you like but you'd be a bit of a twat to sit their and grumble and shoot them evils. Hire a chauffeur and limo if you want to travel solo.

It why would you be pissed off? It’s public transport and you’ve chosen to use it and they are as entitled to use it as you.

If you sit somewhere leaving 3 empty seats, surely it’s quite likely a group of 3, possibly including kids will sit with you.
Sitting in the airline style seats of 2 means you’ll only ever get 1 person joining you, and that’s far less likely to be a child. So why not sit there? Why sit at the table and then complain if what is most likely happens.

I sat at a train table on Monday, on my own. I didn't care if I had to share it or not. It happens that I did share. I prefer the extra space so if it's available, why should I leave it free for someone who hasn't got on the train yet?
Most seats are bookable at no extra charge so if a family particularly wants table seats, I assume they will book one.

It wouldn’t be entitled of them to sit at the table with you.
It’s entitled if you to expect them NOT to.

Yes, they can be annoying. But everyone has a right to use public transport and no-one has a right to dictate who can and can’t sit in the free seats around them.

I don't understand what the rearranging comment is about.

I expect to be able to use the table if I have joined someone - obviously they can use their 1/4 of it.

My kids are both under 6, so I am not going to seat either of them separately from me unless there is no other option. I certainly wouldn't do it so that someone else gets to have two seats to themselves.

I make efforts to keep the kids quiet on trains generally but particularly when sharing a table.

I always work on a train (actually doing it now supposedly!) - I'm self employed so sitting doing nothing for a few hours is basically a waste of money. Like others have said, my laptop won't fit on the airline type tables, I've tried it more than once when no tables were available and it's impossible. Really don't care if anyone joins me though!

I think you’re the one being entitled here.

Why would you be pissed off, they’re just as entitled as you to sit there?

Expecting you to move… fair enough. Of course they shouldn’t expect you to move…. but don’t get the pissed off at them for sitting there comment

I think it's because it's half term and people aren't used to having kids travelling during the day, having more room, a table to themselves etc.

And it's tough isn't it 😂😂

They may not like sharing but too bad for them, everyone is entitled to sit where there is a free seat 🤷🏻‍♀️

but you're not entitled to any space any more than I am I'm afraid.

Not any less entitled either though....

And yes, if I'm travelling alone, I take the airline seats too.. and if I'm travelling with my kids, we'll take what's convenient and they will also plug into their ipads, with headphones, and only surface for snacks - much better than adults having loud conversations on their mobiles, of which there is always one in the carriage I find.

Slightly different but a single woman was sat in our 4 reserved seats with a table,
presumbly on a work call, putting her hand up to hush us when we were trying to let her know she was in our seats.

She was absolutely furious that she had to pack up and sit in a seat without a table, letting us know how we had inconvenienced her. It clearly said reserved too, so not sure why she took it upon herself to sit in reserved seats and inconvenience herself!

She actually pointed out some separate seats where we could park ourselves for the journey!

@Wheelz46 bloody cheek 😂
Oh that would have had my blood boiling!

I noticed this on trains this week (I have two primary aged kids, travelling into/from London). Every table was occupied by a “don’t you dare sit those kids down here”-looking adult.

Hello, it’s half term. It’s easier to occupy/entertain children at a table, fgs we shouldn’t be having to argue why people who are travelling with two small children need/are entitled to more space than an adult travelling alone.

It’s really made me realise how selfish and uncaring a lot of adults are. I’m sure this is a post-covid thing, too. People were more bound by social conventions before.