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Original poster

People on their own sitting at a table on a train

273 replies

Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 11:59

Can anyone explain why they do this?

Just got on a train with my two kids - we joined a lady on her own at a table, she looks daggers at me. I realise it's not fun sharing a table with two young kids but why then sit at a table on your own? You are so much more likely to be joined by a family group! When I am on my own, I always prefer an airline style seat as I am much less likely to be joined by a family.

Is it just the triumph of optimism?

OP posts:
SausageRoll2020 · 15/02/2023 12:10

One of the main reasons I choose a table seat is on a lot of trains they are the only seats with charge points.

Other reasons include:
It's a more comfortable space
I can use my laptop
If I've got a sandwich or other snack it's much easier
A couple of shopping bags can be popped on the table

Obviously, by choosing a table seat I'm well aware that it's likely others will be seated opposite and alongside me. I wouldn't scowl at someone joining the table with children, but if those children were poorly parented and acting in a disruptive manner then my face may give away some of my feelings on the matter.

ToDoListAddict · 15/02/2023 12:12

Every time I reserve a table on a train, there is always 1 person sitting at the table with their laptop and get annoyed when I ask them to move! There's 4 of us and 1 of them and we reserved it 🤦🏻‍♀️

Eastereggsboxedupready · 15/02/2023 12:13

Unless your dc are totally feral I hope you made no apology whatsoever.. Once in a supermarket a dm with 4 young dc apologised to me because her dc were excited near my trolley. I told her never say sorry for your dc just being dc. I once had 4 under 7 and just all being in a shop is exciting and a bit loud! No worse than a single shopper aiming a trolley right at you!

maddy68 · 15/02/2023 12:13

Because she wants a table ...

mindutopia · 15/02/2023 12:13

I always sit at the table. It's because I need to work and I can't open my laptop at a non-table seat. I probably would be a bit annoyed if an entire family surrounded me when I was clearly working and there were other seats available. But on busy trains, I will gladly move if I can to give a family group a chance to sit together. And I try to sit in/book the quiet carriage and travel at commuting times to avoid exactly this. The reality is that it isn't half term for everyone and not everyone has the luxury of being on leave this week.

Original poster
Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 12:14

I think I just find it surprising because I would much much rather be on my own in an airline seat than joined by others on a table. I guess I dislike people more than I like space!

I would also personally move to accommodate a family group - I don't expect others to or ask them or anything but I think it's a nice thing to do so if I can, I will.

OP posts:
NotAnotherBathBomb · 15/02/2023 12:16

MeganTheeScallion · 15/02/2023 12:05

The issue isn't a single person sat at a table seat tho, it's their unreasonable reaction to being joined by others who also want to make use of it.

This. The title of the OP suggests that there's an issue with a lone person sitting at a table

Upsidedownagain · 15/02/2023 12:16

I suspect she was huffing about the kids. Most train travellers don't have kids with them and she probably wasn't aware it was half term.

I prefer sitting at a larger table but only do it when with a companion/s. And hope our chat will put others off (unless it's very crowded).

Otherwise I sit on the airline style seats. But I only use trains for non business purposes so never have a laptop with me.

It was rude of her to make her viewpoint clear though. Couldn't she have moved to another seat?

NotAnotherBathBomb · 15/02/2023 12:18

gogohmm · 15/02/2023 12:08

The only time I was pretty fed up was when I deliberately booked the quiet carriage and a family joined my table, whipped out tablets for the 3 kids (adults sat further down the carriage, and didn't disable the sound! Buy headphones for your children! Also they demanded I switched seats, I had booked an aisle seat, so their child could get in and out. Note they had prebooked this arrangement.

Ha. There is not a SINGLE person that I would trade an aisle seat for. I book them specifically because I am tall and hate the feeling of being squashed in by a stranger. I would have demanded that the child switch with a parent.

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 15/02/2023 12:19

Because it's a free country?

Original poster
Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 12:19

Eastereggsboxedupready · 15/02/2023 12:13

Unless your dc are totally feral I hope you made no apology whatsoever.. Once in a supermarket a dm with 4 young dc apologised to me because her dc were excited near my trolley. I told her never say sorry for your dc just being dc. I once had 4 under 7 and just all being in a shop is exciting and a bit loud! No worse than a single shopper aiming a trolley right at you!

They are fairly feral but we travel by train a lot so I have it down now - traveling at lunchtime with a nice packed lunch, headphones and tablets. They are less disruptive than most adults.

OP posts:
NotAnotherBathBomb · 15/02/2023 12:21

mindutopia · 15/02/2023 12:13

I always sit at the table. It's because I need to work and I can't open my laptop at a non-table seat. I probably would be a bit annoyed if an entire family surrounded me when I was clearly working and there were other seats available. But on busy trains, I will gladly move if I can to give a family group a chance to sit together. And I try to sit in/book the quiet carriage and travel at commuting times to avoid exactly this. The reality is that it isn't half term for everyone and not everyone has the luxury of being on leave this week.

YABU. A train is not an office. If I was travelling with 2 children I would sit at a table regardless of other seats being free.

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 15/02/2023 12:22

My serious answer is I am always travelling with at least one book and two drinks (water and a coffee). Fits much better on a table than one of the pull-down trays. I have to say kids joining me are usually delightful (last time I was taking a gift to a friend's baby and the two children who sat down opposite me kept trying to furtively peek in the bag which was sweet.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 15/02/2023 12:23

Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 12:14

I think I just find it surprising because I would much much rather be on my own in an airline seat than joined by others on a table. I guess I dislike people more than I like space!

I would also personally move to accommodate a family group - I don't expect others to or ask them or anything but I think it's a nice thing to do so if I can, I will.

And YABU for this. You having children doesn't trump an individual's need/desire for a particular space.

Cyclebabble · 15/02/2023 12:24

On public transport I am afraid you do not get to choose who sits next to you. I would just have smiled politely and then got on with your day. Her problem not yours.

Needmorelego · 15/02/2023 12:25

I sit wherever there is an empty seat. I usually don't give it much thought. I certainly wouldn't be thinking "ooh I can't sit there just incase a family wants to sit there" - my brain is more thinking "there's an empty seat..."
(Obviously if I accidentally sit in a reserved seat I will move if asked to but most train routes I do aren't the type that you can reserve seats anyway)

Soubriquet · 15/02/2023 12:25

Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 12:08

No. She was annoyed before we even sat down. She is now conducting a phone call on speaker while my kids (are quietly watching a film with headphones)

Show quote history

Join in the conversation Grin

Them:- I’ve got a bad headache and I banged my knee

You: oh my aunt Florence did that this weekend too.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/02/2023 12:25

People on their own daring to exist again!

How dare they?

watcherintherye · 15/02/2023 12:26

If all she did was ‘look daggers’ at you, then I think it’s a bit of a stretch to infer that she was annoyed with you. Maybe she’d had bad news/was worried about a work matter/has a resting bitch face, and thought she was looking neutrally at you (happens to me, I think!) People imagine that others are thinking about them a lot more than they are.

Spanielsarepainless · 15/02/2023 12:27

I always go for a table seat if one is available. Much more comfortable.

Twentywisteria · 15/02/2023 12:31

Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 12:14

I think I just find it surprising because I would much much rather be on my own in an airline seat than joined by others on a table. I guess I dislike people more than I like space!

I would also personally move to accommodate a family group - I don't expect others to or ask them or anything but I think it's a nice thing to do so if I can, I will.

Perhaps single women are sick to death of families expecting them to make space for them in the world with no reciprocation?

Original poster
Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 12:31

NotAnotherBathBomb · 15/02/2023 12:23

And YABU for this. You having children doesn't trump an individual's need/desire for a particular space.

Show quote history

I didn't say it did. I just said I find it surprising that someone would prefer the possibility of sitting with a family to sitting on their own. She is very welcome to sit next to me - or she would be if she wasn't talking on speaker.

OP posts:
Original poster
Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 12:32

Twentywisteria · 15/02/2023 12:31

Perhaps single women are sick to death of families expecting them to make space for them in the world with no reciprocation?

Show quote history

I literally said that I don't expect anyone else to but that I do because I like to be nice sometimes. Who pissed in your cornflakes?!

OP posts:
ThighMistress · 15/02/2023 12:33

I think a lot of people seem to mistake crowded public transport for their own personal chauffeured vehicle.

dh got on the train recently (crowded commuter), asked to get into the vacant window seat and the woman by the aisle said no, she had “personal space needs” . Dh said ok, but good luck with that at the next (very popular) station. Dh went all the way down the carriage but was pleased to see someone taking no notice of her protestations and loudly saying she could tell the guard she “needed” two seats.

Emmamoo89 · 15/02/2023 12:34

I would sit at a table if I was on my own