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Original poster

People on their own sitting at a table on a train

273 replies

Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 11:59

Can anyone explain why they do this?

Just got on a train with my two kids - we joined a lady on her own at a table, she looks daggers at me. I realise it's not fun sharing a table with two young kids but why then sit at a table on your own? You are so much more likely to be joined by a family group! When I am on my own, I always prefer an airline style seat as I am much less likely to be joined by a family.

Is it just the triumph of optimism?

OP posts:
thedogsmababy · 15/02/2023 13:05

Topsyturvy78 · 15/02/2023 12:57

This really gets my goat up. We were traveling back from holiday once I moved over to a table with my son. Let me aunt know there was a table she had my daughter on another two seats. A bloke comes and sits accross from us. I said sorry but there's four of us. My children have special needs if I was traveling alone with and we couldn't get a table I would have to squeeze the 3 of us onto two seats. I wouldn't even sit on one if there's just the two of us. Selfish fuckers comes to mind.

I'm a selfish fucker because my disability makes it difficult for me to sit in the airline style seats?

PuddlesPityParty · 15/02/2023 13:06

Why does it matter? People get annoyed if people sit next to them on trains in general not just at tables 😂 I don’t think the issue is someone sitting at a table, the issue is people forgetting public transport is for, well, the public!

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 15/02/2023 13:06

I saw something amusing the other day on a train. A teenage girl had her phone out sitting at a table that she had joined, with one woman already there by herself, reading. The girl started playing music without using headphones. I didn't see a conductor around. The woman then put down her book, got her phone out, and started playing that Head and Shoulders ad at full volume. - several times. Passive aggressive but it was funny.

Nsky62 · 15/02/2023 13:07

I always prefer inside window seat, on train or plane, I do object to people asking me to move so they can work.
My biggest annoyance was having to move so that’s special assistance couple could have mine, and my neighbours seat, as the allocated folk wouldn’t move!
On the way to my parents funeral……….and. I had to stand

ladykale · 15/02/2023 13:10

Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 12:14

I think I just find it surprising because I would much much rather be on my own in an airline seat than joined by others on a table. I guess I dislike people more than I like space!

I would also personally move to accommodate a family group - I don't expect others to or ask them or anything but I think it's a nice thing to do so if I can, I will.

Have you ever needed to do work on a train though... very hard if not at a table seat as the flip down tables are tiny.

zingally · 15/02/2023 13:10

I will often sit at a table. I like to have space to put my coffee down, more space to read my book etc. I do fully accept though that I'm not going to have the whole table to myself for the entire journey!

AaaaaandBreathe · 15/02/2023 13:10

Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 12:47

Ok. It's a bad bad thing that I do because I am a bad person when I move to let a family sit together

Show quote history

It's because you mentioned families. I'm sure if you said you think it's a nice thing to do to move and let 4 adult friends sit together they would agree with you!

rubberduckiee · 15/02/2023 13:12

Some people don't like noisy children in public spaces in general, which is fair. I can understand why you felt hurt or annoyed, OP, but I wouldn't let my thoughts linger about it for more than a moment.

Daydreamer12345 · 15/02/2023 13:12

FangsForTheMemory · 15/02/2023 13:04

If someone travelling alone sat down at the table with you and your kids, would you think that ok? I bet you wouldn’t. It drives me nuts that people think they can sit down at my table anywhere, not just on trains, and it’s fine because I’m alone. It’s absolutely not.

Of course I wouldn’t mind, why would I?

I would probably think it was odd if there were other seats available but that’s because I stay as far away from kids as possible if I’m travelling alone.

Where else do people sit at your table when you’re alone?

Sorry, but on a train it absolutely is Ok if the seat is available. Why wouldn’t it be?

Original poster
Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 13:12

FangsForTheMemory · 15/02/2023 13:04

If someone travelling alone sat down at the table with you and your kids, would you think that ok? I bet you wouldn’t. It drives me nuts that people think they can sit down at my table anywhere, not just on trains, and it’s fine because I’m alone. It’s absolutely not.

I would think it was slightly strange if there were other seats available - just because I can't fathom wanting to sit with young children who aren't yours - but it would be fine by me, I wouldn't complain and I would make sure you had your fair share of the table/leg room.

OP posts:
rubberduckiee · 15/02/2023 13:12

I do think it's a bit odd to fixate about this one incident for so long.

Topsyturvy78 · 15/02/2023 13:13

We had this once when my son used a disability buggy. He wouldn't sit on a train seat but was ok in his buggy or my knee. Fine when he's a toddler but when they get to 5/6 having him sat on my knee for a hour's wasn't easy.

JackieDaws · 15/02/2023 13:13

I like a table all to myself. I usually rock back and forth muttering or smile and pat the seat next to me so it puts people off sitting with me. Honestly it really works as people would rather stand for the few hours it takes to go from London to Edinburgh.

FlissyPaps · 15/02/2023 13:13

Can anyone explain why they do this?

Because it’s perfectly legal and we want to.

Is that okay with you?

WickedStepmomNOT · 15/02/2023 13:14

FangsForTheMemory · 15/02/2023 13:04

If someone travelling alone sat down at the table with you and your kids, would you think that ok? I bet you wouldn’t. It drives me nuts that people think they can sit down at my table anywhere, not just on trains, and it’s fine because I’m alone. It’s absolutely not.

Seats are limited on a train. An empty seat is up for grabs regardless of who its next to.

NoNotHimTheOtherOne · 15/02/2023 13:14

why then sit at a table on your own?

Because, as others have identified, it's impossible to use a laptop in a non-table seat. Many people on trains on weekdays are travelling for work and in work time, so they need to be dealing with e-mails, etc., while they travel.

The other reason is because you have a cup of tea/coffee and are less likely to spill it if you're sitting at a table.

There's no excuse for her conducting a call on speaker, though.

Yerroblemom1923 · 15/02/2023 13:15

There's more room at a table and you just hope and pray a family with kids won't join you! You can't blame her, she was probably loving the space and peace and quiet until you rocked up.

DorritLittle · 15/02/2023 13:15

Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 12:03

If you don't mind being joined, that's fine but the lady I joined absolutely did mind and the majority of the time I get huffed at for joining people when I have the kids with me.

I was silently huffed at all the way home from London once for sitting next to someone on a two seater. My quiet 9 year old was behind me. She passive aggressively got out and then glared at me as she passed the window.

It made me chuckle.

Justalittlebitduckling · 15/02/2023 13:16

Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 12:03

If you don't mind being joined, that's fine but the lady I joined absolutely did mind and the majority of the time I get huffed at for joining people when I have the kids with me.

She paid for one seat, she gets one seat. She has no right to claim a whole table.

AaaaaandBreathe · 15/02/2023 13:17

FangsForTheMemory · 15/02/2023 13:04

If someone travelling alone sat down at the table with you and your kids, would you think that ok? I bet you wouldn’t. It drives me nuts that people think they can sit down at my table anywhere, not just on trains, and it’s fine because I’m alone. It’s absolutely not.

What? So you own any table you sit at? Whether I'm alone or with children it has never bothered me someone sitting in a public seat. Anyone can sit wherever they like. If you want a table to yourself, book the 4 seats.

MasterBeth · 15/02/2023 13:18

Theelephantinthecastle · 15/02/2023 12:08

No. She was annoyed before we even sat down. She is now conducting a phone call on speaker while my kids (are quietly watching a film with headphones)

Show quote history

Join in her conversation.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 15/02/2023 13:18

Topsyturvy78 · 15/02/2023 12:57

This really gets my goat up. We were traveling back from holiday once I moved over to a table with my son. Let me aunt know there was a table she had my daughter on another two seats. A bloke comes and sits accross from us. I said sorry but there's four of us. My children have special needs if I was traveling alone with and we couldn't get a table I would have to squeeze the 3 of us onto two seats. I wouldn't even sit on one if there's just the two of us. Selfish fuckers comes to mind.

I don't understand how he could have sat across from you if all 4 of you were sat there. Or are you saying your aunt and other child were at other seats and were in the process of moving over? Or that they were in other seats and intending to stay there but you wanted 2 free seats just for you.

FlissyPaps · 15/02/2023 13:19

Topsyturvy78 · 15/02/2023 12:57

This really gets my goat up. We were traveling back from holiday once I moved over to a table with my son. Let me aunt know there was a table she had my daughter on another two seats. A bloke comes and sits accross from us. I said sorry but there's four of us. My children have special needs if I was traveling alone with and we couldn't get a table I would have to squeeze the 3 of us onto two seats. I wouldn't even sit on one if there's just the two of us. Selfish fuckers comes to mind.

Having children with SEN isn’t a free pass to dictate where other passengers sit. How the hell are they supposed to know your circumstances?

If you desperately need all your family to sit together at a table then you need to prebook a table in advance.

Entitled fuckers come to mind.

WickedStepmomNOT · 15/02/2023 13:20

JackieDaws · 15/02/2023 13:13

I like a table all to myself. I usually rock back and forth muttering or smile and pat the seat next to me so it puts people off sitting with me. Honestly it really works as people would rather stand for the few hours it takes to go from London to Edinburgh.

I think this is ironic trying to be funny.. Not me! Im not put off nor am I standing from London to Edinburgh or even five stops on the tube if there are empty seats. Selfish buggers man-spreading or coat-throwing to try to get more space. I now carry one of those 'please offer me a seat' cards from London Underground as I have poor mobility but dont always use my stick - especially in rush hour, dont wont to trip someone - and have no hesitation showing it. Someone always gets up but not always from the disabled seats by the door!

NoNotHimTheOtherOne · 15/02/2023 13:21

If you want a table to yourself, book the 4 seats.

Tee-hee. When's the last time the seat reservation system worked properly?

When I book a train I always book a seat. But most of the time, either (a) the train doesn't actually exist, so the seat reservations are null & void, or (b) the reservations don't download until after the journey has started, so people have sat in seats they didn't know were reserved. I can't remember the last time I was able to sit in my reserved seat on a train.