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Original poster

Anyone had a baby after a large gap?

47 replies

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 14/02/2023 14:06

Hi - I’m 37 and lucky enough to have two dc aged 10 &6. I always thought I’d have more but the situation wasn’t right.
I’m suddenly really feeling like I wish I’d had a third one.
Ideally I wouldn’t have had a big age gap between them, and I would have done it younger.

Anyone done this or chosen not to? Can you tell me how you feel about your choice?

On the one hand I have so much freedom now and by the time I’m 50 my kids will be fully independent. On the other I wonder if I’d regret having a smaller family.

Apologies if this post comes across as insensitive to anyone, like I said I know I’m lucky to have two already.

OP posts:
Newmum110 · 14/02/2023 14:09

Yes & I am so glad that I did. I find baby so much easier as I have far more confidence in myself. I am definitely stretched a bit thinner trying to appease everyone but we'll worth it imo.

Eastereggsboxedupready · 14/02/2023 14:09

I had my last dc at 43.2 after a 6 year gap. Ds is 8 and I am so grateful for my Bonus Baby! He is an absolute delight to everyone here!

mycatsanutter · 14/02/2023 14:13

Yes I started all over again when I had a 20, 16 and 12 year old Smile

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SomethingOnce · 14/02/2023 14:14

Did the same rather older than you and the little one has been so much fun. No idea why people fret over age gaps; the best laid plans don’t always work out when it comes to pregnancy and historically families have been bigger with all sorts of gaps. You get by!

CornishGem1975 · 14/02/2023 14:15

Yes, I had a 13 year age gap. It's been great!

Bonnieweejeaniemccall · 14/02/2023 14:19

Yep there's nearly 7 years between my two and I love it, yes it can sometimes be difficult in regards to days out etc. But he absolutley adores her and has alot of time for her. And my sanity is intact ha ha! I was just never one of these people that could have had two close together so it's been right for us.

stupidsocialmedia · 14/02/2023 14:25

19 years between my eldest and second.

CoffeeAndCreativity · 14/02/2023 14:35

Mine are 23, 18, 15 and 6. My youngest is absolutely adored by her older siblings.

caffelattetogo · 14/02/2023 14:39

Yes, best thing we ever did.

Original poster
Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 14/02/2023 14:41

Oh wow
Thanks for all the replies. I was not expecting it to be so overwhelmingly positive.

When I list the pros and cons it seems like madness to have another one (I’d have to give up my sport for a while, loss of freedom, holidays are harder) but I realise you can’t write down the joy a child brings.

Also I reckon my two would be absolutely thrilled, which is a different experience to having them closer together.

OP posts:
Original poster
Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 14/02/2023 14:41

What has anyone found difficult about having a big age gap?

OP posts:
SomethingOnce · 14/02/2023 14:42

Low birth rate and ageing population… do us all a favour and crack on, OP Grin

fairgame84 · 14/02/2023 14:42

18 year gap.
I had DS when I was 20.
Then I met DH when I was 34 and had DD at 38. She's 4 months old. DH wants another so we might try again later this year.

DS is autistic and doesn't bother with DD but he's coped well. I've enjoyed doing it all over again, I always wanted another.

SomethingOnce · 14/02/2023 14:43

Older ones complain about coming to the playground but secretly they enjoy a go on the slide…

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 14/02/2023 14:44

I had my youngest when my older two were almost 16 and 12. I never regretted it. I think I was a far better parent when I was older. My youngest is now 19 and his brothers are 31 and 35. I'm sad now that all my kids are grown. I wish I had had one more after my youngest

CrescentMoons · 14/02/2023 14:46

I was 40 and dc1 was 7. 15 and 9 now and it’s great.

Bluepanda86 · 14/02/2023 14:51

With my DDs - eldest is nearly 6 years old and my youngest is 4 months old. I was worried about the age gap as I had some difficulties with trying for 2nd baby (medical reasons) but was reassured by both friends and family it is ok and my eldest does get on well with her baby sibling and loves her very much.😊

thecatsarecrazy · 14/02/2023 15:06

Had my 3rd at 35 my eldest is 16 youngest is 6 its been pretty good

Original poster
Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 14/02/2023 15:38

Yep doing it for the country 💪🏼😂

OP posts:
ourflagmeansdeath · 14/02/2023 15:50

Go for it if it feels right! That isn't even too bad of an age gap. Mine are 19, 14 and 5, and it works so well.

OhhhhhhhhBiscuits · 14/02/2023 15:52

19 years between my 2.

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 14/02/2023 15:59

Yes. I did. Older dds 13 and 10 when dd3 arrived.
I/We adore her BUT
Toddlers and teens sheer hard feckin work. I felt exhausted permanently
It goes on forever. Dd3 is 15 now. I have had a school age child for 23 years. Still doing term time hols. Still thinking about catchment areas.
I'll be 60 by the time she is independent age. So another lot of Uni to get through.

RoseFl0wers · 14/02/2023 16:01

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 14/02/2023 14:41

What has anyone found difficult about having a big age gap?

There’s a big age gap between me and my youngest brother but only a year between me and my other brother. I’m not as close to the one who is 9 years younger than me. Can’t really relate to him (I still love him). He started to feel like an only child when we moved away to university.

OhBollocks23 · 14/02/2023 16:10

Eight years between my DSs. In some ways I wish I'd had them closer together, although I found early motherhood hard and I suspect would have really struggled.

I am conscious of the fact that the eldest is doing his GCSEs and we'll have to go through it all again in eight WHOLE years. And, if we'd had them a couple of years apart, we'd be looking at relative freedom fairly soon. Also, like PPs have said, it can be a bit tricky for things like days out.

However, I'd much rather have the gap we have than not have had a second. He's brought so much to our lives and they get on relatively well, bearing in mind the age difference.

DappledOliveGroves · 14/02/2023 16:11

21 years between my two DDs and it's brilliant! DD1 moved home when DD2 was newborn and it's so lovely seeing them together and how much DD1 adores her little sister. Because of how different things are for me from when I had DD1 (teenager, lone parent, post-natal depression) to now (solvent, good career, married), the experience has been so positive and I'm so grateful every day that we had our baby!