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Original poster

To feel really f*cking alone

44 replies

Runningonjammiedodgers · 14/02/2023 11:07

Second valentine's day after my marriage ended, spent the both single because I don't understand the way everyone rushes from one relationship to the next. I am quite happy in my choice to be single and focus on my DCs. I have bought my own house, I have got a better paying job, I have enrolled in a masters.

My exh has is now on his second 'serious' relationship post break up, my kids are all eye rolls about it at this point, all his money he got in the divorce has been spent living the high life, he lives in a shitty rental.

I normally feel good about my choices, I know I could date if I wanted to, I know I am single by choice, I don't want to pin my happiness on a man. But Christ valentine's day has just about written me off and it's only 11am. Now pondering how I feel about dying alone.

Anyone else feeling pretty low to be single today?

OP posts:
BigFatLiar · 14/02/2023 11:12

It's just another day. Will you still be depressed about being alone tomorrow or the day after or is it just because people are making a bit of a display about valentines day.

Original poster
Runningonjammiedodgers · 14/02/2023 11:16

I think it's just the big valentine's display that's doing it. I have a friend who left her husband of one year in September and she is super loved up with her new bf 🙄. I think that just about tipped me over the edge.

OP posts:
fruitbrewhaha · 14/02/2023 11:18

No, don’t do this to yourself. You know you are happy as you are.

YukoandHiro · 14/02/2023 11:21

It's a bullshit day. Please don't expend any energy worrying about it. I'm happily married and both DH and I totally forgot about it. Honesty please put it aside - it sounds like you've really come out of your divorce in a great place.
If you want to make it in some way maybe text a good female friend and tell them how much you love them, or surprise a friend with flowers

YukoandHiro · 14/02/2023 11:21

*mark it

Jadedbuthappy82 · 14/02/2023 11:22

Exactly what fruitbrewhaha said. Stay well away from social media lass, especially on days like this where many unhappy people for some reason feel the need to pretend to themselves and the world that they are blissfully and smugly happy. Unlikely. Be proud of your choices I'd say, and your strength and do something nice for yourself every day. Best wishes

Kate8990 · 14/02/2023 11:24

Is it on social media? I find all the loved up emotional displays on FB annoying but that's because I think most of it is fake. I'm in a relationship by the way and still think this.
It's like saying 'look how amazing my relationship is, my partner is better than yours' If it was so great they wouldn't be posting about it IMO. They'd just be living life. It's almost like trying to prove something. Not a fan of gushy cheesy shit though 😂 It's not realistic. They were probably bickering 5 minutes before. That's real life so take it with a pinch of salt. Enjoy your life as it is and you will meet the right person in time x

BabyMoonPie · 14/02/2023 11:24

Stop buying into the hype - flowers and chocolate and a gushing Facebook post last 1 day. It sounds like you've got great kids, a house, a good job and great prospects- that lasts much longer and is far better. You've said you're happy single so remember why that is and buy yourself something you really want today if you can afford it and it would make you happy

Original poster
Runningonjammiedodgers · 14/02/2023 11:25

I am tempted Miley Cyrus it and buy myself a completely ott bunch of flowers and take my two DS out for dinner. Or at least get us a Vienetta for afters 🤣

I know social media is not real, I was a dafty to have a nosey today.

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 14/02/2023 11:27

I've never known so many ridiculous Valentines posts on MN in all the years I've been on here, OP. A lot of them have got to be wind-ups - all the whining on the one hand and smuggery on the other. I'm trying to avoid / delete!

I wish there could be a dedicated topic board ('Valentine's Day') where they could all be moved and people like the OP and me could hide the whole topic. Like MNHQ do for Christmas.

Meanwhile, @Runningonjammiedodgers - as other posters have said, it's just another day. And a very silly, commercial one at that these days now it is being aimed at grown-ass adults.

StarDolphins · 14/02/2023 11:29

I am the opposite today, loving not to have an expectant bf expecting me to open the door tonight like a sexy secretary that wants to seduce the boss!🤣

its just another day & I think it’s a pretty fake & cheesy one.

Being single is good. I have gone from relationship to relationship & now I just want to bring my little girl up & who knows in the future, I might or might not meet someone but certainly in no rush.

picklemewalnuts · 14/02/2023 11:32

Better single on VD than stuck in with someone who makes you miserable! Even worse, stuck in with someone miserable feeling obliged to pretend you are happy!

SpinningFloppa · 14/02/2023 11:32

Yes feel the same, single 6 years not through choice though. Starting to think I will be alone forever

Iwantabloodypizza · 14/02/2023 11:36

Come on, you have your own home, have managed to get a better paying job, you are doing a bloody masters! That’s all so fabulous!

And your ex has been a dick and squandered his cash.

Buy yourself something really nice to eat/drink tonight, have a lovely evening with your children.

It’s just a day to sell tat.

Original poster
Runningonjammiedodgers · 14/02/2023 11:37

@SpinningFloppa it's hard isn't it? I feel like OLD has brought us to this place where we can shop around for a relationship, instantly move on if it doesn't work and it's expected the we will never be alone. And yet here we are....

OP posts:
ArmchairAnarchist2 · 14/02/2023 11:37

So naff to post it all over social media. I've been married almost thirty years and came downstairs to a dozen red roses and a card but DH has always done that. All I could think was how much cheaper they'd be next week. It's a gimmick. Your life is one of success, be proud of what you've achieved.

crochetmonkey74 · 14/02/2023 11:37

Last year I was the same OP - this year I feel fine about it, I think it goes year by year for me.

I was considering a trip to M&S food tomorrow to see if there was any reduced chocolates :)

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 14/02/2023 11:38

VDay is performative bullshit for insecure people with low self-esteem seeking dopamine hits from strangers.

Original poster
Runningonjammiedodgers · 14/02/2023 11:38

AutumnCrow · 14/02/2023 11:27

I've never known so many ridiculous Valentines posts on MN in all the years I've been on here, OP. A lot of them have got to be wind-ups - all the whining on the one hand and smuggery on the other. I'm trying to avoid / delete!

I wish there could be a dedicated topic board ('Valentine's Day') where they could all be moved and people like the OP and me could hide the whole topic. Like MNHQ do for Christmas.

Meanwhile, @Runningonjammiedodgers - as other posters have said, it's just another day. And a very silly, commercial one at that these days now it is being aimed at grown-ass adults.

Amen! I do not normally give two hoots about my single status. Until it is rammed down my throat everywhere I look.

OP posts:
offon · 14/02/2023 11:38

It doesn't sound like you're quite happy yet in you choice to be single. Remember that comparison is the thief of joy.

determinedtomakethiswork · 14/02/2023 11:39

Being alone is far less lonely than living with someone like that.

Original poster
Runningonjammiedodgers · 14/02/2023 11:40

@crochetmonkey74 love this idea! My ex has the kids Wednesday evening so maybe I will have a me date with whatever left over goodies I can find.

OP posts:
Original poster
Runningonjammiedodgers · 14/02/2023 11:41

@offon possibly not. But I want to work on being happy and single than find a man as a sticking plaster. I will get there. Or I will get on tinder.

OP posts:
BigFatLiar · 14/02/2023 11:41

Runningonjammiedodgers · 14/02/2023 11:25

I am tempted Miley Cyrus it and buy myself a completely ott bunch of flowers and take my two DS out for dinner. Or at least get us a Vienetta for afters 🤣

I know social media is not real, I was a dafty to have a nosey today.

And why not get yourself some flowers or a nice meal with the children.

Kate8990 · 14/02/2023 11:41

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 14/02/2023 11:38

VDay is performative bullshit for insecure people with low self-esteem seeking dopamine hits from strangers.

So well said 👏

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