To feel really f*cking alone

[Runningonjammiedodgers]

Second valentine's day after my marriage ended, spent the both single because I don't understand the way everyone rushes from one relationship to the next. I am quite happy in my choice to be single and focus on my DCs. I have bought my own house, I have got a better paying job, I have enrolled in a masters.

My exh has is now on his second 'serious' relationship post break up, my kids are all eye rolls about it at this point, all his money he got in the divorce has been spent living the high life, he lives in a shitty rental.

I normally feel good about my choices, I know I could date if I wanted to, I know I am single by choice, I don't want to pin my happiness on a man. But Christ valentine's day has just about written me off and it's only 11am. Now pondering how I feel about dying alone.

Anyone else feeling pretty low to be single today?

You should definitely do this. Sorry you're feeling low. You sound really sensible though and your kids are lucky to have one parent with their head screwed on. I hope you feel better soon.

I’m with my kids full time so not able to get out and meet anyone, it’s a bit rubbish when you are forced to stay single. Don’t like involving kids on Valentine’s Day personally so wouldn’t do any dinner with the kids etc but seeing everyone else loved up does make it hard

Definitely buy the Viennetta, @Runningonjammiedodgers Currently only £1.50 in Asda, bargain!

A possible upgrade on the Vienetta is the Lotus Biscoff ice cream cake. I got one at Iceland for £3 the other week. I think you should buy one of each and do a taste test.

You will get there!

No, it actually makes me feel better about being single because of how fake it feels.

Also I treated myself to a meal deal for 2 so get 2 days of nice food

@CanofCant @AutumnCrow off to Iceland via Asda. Might even add an artic roll to the mix 💕

@SpinningFloppa I don't know how old your kids are but my oldest is 13. His birthday really brought it home to me just how fast time is moving and how little years I have left with my son as a child. I know it's hard, I don't often get a break due to my exh job taking him away alot (also he is shit), but we have young children for such a small amount of our lives, once they leave home we can go wild!

I’m single by choice after my last serious relationship fell apart (we have children together, it was meant to be the most important relationship of my life) but I honestly didn’t even know it was Valentine’s Day until I opened MN. It’s just a commercially driven day that holds zero importance or relevance to me. I wouldn’t waste my energy or emotions on it.

Nicely, you need to give yourself a gentle shake.

You’re not alone, you won’t die alone. Even I’d you were to, Valentine’s Day wouldn’t change that.

Your life sounds pretty good. Focus on the good things and stop letting one commercialised day make you second-guess yourself.

Stop at a bakery on the way home, buy yourself and the kids some heart shaped biscuits or red cupcakes, and have a laugh with them.

I’ve just eaten a pink heart-shaped doughnut. It was very nice. My husband and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day at all- we’re very happy and generally sickeningly loved-up, we just don’t need the calendar to dictate our feelings. You don’t either because you know that’s not what’s important.

I mean I'm single by choice and don't feel the same way you do at all, I don't even have a fraction of the other things you have.

It's all about your state of mind. I'm having a takeaway and a glass of wine in front of a horror tonight, can't wait.

It really is a load of shite. Grown women posting Valentines messages (and the rest) on social media. No.

Not me OP, I'm as happy as Larry. I've always thought Valentines day is a load of rubbish anyway, just another Clinton card day.
Strange my ex is exactly the same, took his (very low) settlement, spend it all on the high life and in yet another doomed relationship.
I have my own comfortable house in the country, a great job and a decent pension which he didn't want any of.
I dread to think how his retirement and old age are going to pan out.
He'll probably be some other womans parasite.
I have great friends and a wonderful DS, I don't need anything else.

It's just an over hyped day. Designed to make consumers purchase. It doesn't mean anything.

You are not alone you are just not with your ex. And he's your ex for a reason. He's someone else's problem now.

Romance yourself tonight. Make a lovely meal. Open some wine and put a great film on TV. Whilst counting your blessings xx

Its more depressing to be with someone who forgets your birthday and shoves some cheap and nasty garage flowers at you on Valentine's day.

My exh has is now on his second 'serious' relationship post break up, my kids are all eye rolls about it at this point, all his money he got in the divorce has been spent living the high life, he lives in a shitty rental.

He's just made different choices, nothing wrong with that. We've lost so.many friends early to cancer/heart attacks/accidents etc that we try not to judge how they live their lives. If he chooses to spend his money now that's fine better perhaps than saving up and dropping dead early so someone else spends it.

Just focus on enjoying your own life and try not to compare to others.

I think some of it maybe was that it took so much to pull myself and my DCs through the past 18 months that once everything came together at the end of 2022 I felt like I breathed out for the first time since we separated. And I have spent the first part of this year feeling a bit flat. But maybe that's just everything catching up with me now I have some space to start to process it all.

If you worked for Hallmark I’d buy all your cards 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

You sound way too smart and successful to be letting your emotions be so heavily dictated by a date on the calendar and a few posts on social media. All this crap is designed to bring you down (because down people spend more cash!), don't let it.