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Feeling very selfish but sooo gutted about potential childcare reforms

77 replies

DownInTheDumpster · 13/02/2023 16:27

amp.theguardian.com/politics/2023/feb/10/treasury-considering-huge-expansion-free-childcare-england

Obviously these are only just ideas floating around currently and overall it is 100% necessary changes and a brilliant brilliant thing for parents and children and society as a whole.

But god as someone who has paid 60k so far in childcare and is crawling to the end point of child starting school it’s killing me that if we had left it a few years later we might not have had to pay so much. Childcare has crippled us and I’m thrilled it won’t be the same for others in future but it pains me that we will have missed out on this (potentially!).

Anyone want to share in my pain?

OP posts:
AmandaHoldensLips · 13/02/2023 17:39

Me (and probably every other working mum of my era) - I got nothing towards childcare costs. It was crippling and I worked myself into the ground trying to hold everything together.

The motherhood penalty is real, and it's massive.

I'm glad that there is now support available.

Fleabigg · 13/02/2023 17:40

I did feel a little pang of this when I read it was a possibility, I must admit. You can’t do the “what if” thinking though, because there’s always something.

If we’d been able to get pregnant when we first wanted to, it would have been before the child benefit reforms and that money would have made a difference on maternity leave.

Last time we moved house the stamp duty rules changed a month after and would have saved us 1000s.

I’m sure there will have been examples the other way round where we’ve benefitted and others missed out.

Bluevelvetsofa · 13/02/2023 17:41

There was little or no childcare when mine were small, so I had to stay at home and do tutoring in the evening for a few years.

I’m glad there are many more options now and that they will be more available and affordable in future.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

DownInTheDumpster · 13/02/2023 17:41

You are all right of course. Hopefully it happens so people won’t go through the awful financial Times many families have to go through with small kids. Just feeling sorry for myself!

OP posts:
BungleandGeorge · 13/02/2023 17:44

It’s ‘one option’ put forward. It’s not going to happen! They’ll just change ratios but as usual ignoring the practical considerations that childcare is poorly paid and hard work and that a lot of parents actually do t want to work more hours

Pinkfrogs45 · 13/02/2023 17:45

I will bet money that the free hours don’t change at all, it will just be the ratios are relaxed which isn’t a positive in my view.

Danikm151 · 13/02/2023 17:46

I can’t see it happening any time soon! Promises have been made over the years in regards to childcare and it nothing happens. The UC rate for childcare has stayed the same for years.
30 hours is allocated by local councils and they choose how much to give to nurseries.
it needs a complete overhaul and as always it will go to the bottom of the pile.

LavenderHillMob · 13/02/2023 17:51

I can remember having mixed emotions when mat leave was increased. I thought it was a good thing, but at the same time felt slightly mugged off that I hadn't had that opportunity. As others say, it's swings & roundabouts.

I was paid as a student nurse (not a lot, but we were paid) and had cheap accommodation. Todays students pay a fortune to train and have higher housing costs. On balance, I'm glad I was able to do it when I did.

WinterFoxes · 13/02/2023 17:53

Swings and roundabouts. You could have left it later and raised children now, when the NHS is broken and cost of living is skyrocketing. Imagine having to heat a house for a newborn under current prices.

saraclara · 13/02/2023 17:54

Boshi · 13/02/2023 17:35

@Comedycook you paid hundreds of thousands in iht! You just have been way over the threshold which anyway isn’t now a million

It's a million if the remaining parent was married to the other parent, and the house is part of the estate.

As a widow, my late husband's iht allowance is added to mine. So £325k each is £650k. If I still own my house when I die, and I leave it to my children or grandchildren, each of the iht allowances has an extra £175k added to it. So £325k added to that £650k is £1m

MTIH · 13/02/2023 18:10

Don't hold your breath. I work within the system.

Central government won't fund this adequately (again), expecting LA’s to magic up some money from their already underfunded budgets.

LA’s, therefore won't be able to afford to pay providers adequately.

Providers won't be able to afford to meet your needs or follow government guidance.

Providers won't be able to extend their offer, as additional hours or additional space require heating and therefore increased costs.

Providers won't be able to afford to increase staff wages.

No increase, childcare as a role increasingly unattractive. Staff won't be found to work long and increasing hours for a pittance.

Providers will either, not offer the additional hours, will add extras and charge you or will end up closing as costs rise.

As usual, another government ‘good idea’ announced cynically to deflect from cost of living bad news, without any real idea of how they will achieve this.

PotKettel · 13/02/2023 18:12

Tamrastarr · 13/02/2023 17:04

@Comedycook The IHT threshold is not a million!

IHT threshold actually can be £1m for the death of the second person in a marriage, assuming the estate can take advantage of transfer of spouse’s unused IHT allowance and relief of IHT on primary residence also including transfer of spouse’s allowance.

PotKettel · 13/02/2023 18:15

Everything @MTIH said. Even if the government were to fund these measures (doubtful) I really don’t think the childcare providers will step up. I know our child’s nursery is one of many that has said it won’t dilute childcare ratios, so they would have to do some contortions to provide 30 free hours in that case.

gogohmm · 13/02/2023 18:18

I wouldn't get excited, it was just one option that was put into the mix, the most expensive option. An expansion of care for those on the lowest incomes is more likely, or nothing at all.

I got just 12.5 hours when mine were small!

gogohmm · 13/02/2023 18:20

@FormerlyPathologicallyHappy

Women don't pay for childcare, parents pay for it, it's a joint expense that should be factored in prior to conceiving. Making the bill half the father's responsibility after a split would be a good start

BarVibes · 13/02/2023 18:25

So we got the 15 hours free with no. 1 child, 30 hours started when no. 2 child started school and covid hit with no. 3 so childcare closed. Got 30 hours for a few months before school!

But in the plus side I am old and didn't pay for university and could afford a decent starter home etc.

But i get it, it feels unfair.

Shinyandnew1 · 13/02/2023 18:27

I wouldn’t worry. I can’t imagine for a second this government will implement this in any sort of way that will function properly or save anyone any money!

StressedToTheMaxxx · 13/02/2023 18:45

Great initiative. They also need to look at investing in childcare professionals. From having my own wee one at nursery, I see how much they put in to their work and how much they genuinely care about the children. They really work to develop her skills on a daily basis and she has come on so much since starting nursery. They are qualified professionals, plus have to pay a yearly fee to remain on the professional register here in Scotland. For all of this, they aren't paid much above minimum wage.

Ponderingwindow · 13/02/2023 18:54

Where I live, I had to pay an extremely large amount of money for my child to attend her first year at the “free”
government school. The old-fashioned short-day would have been free, but it was so unpopular the school didn’t even offer the class anymore. The year after my dd went through, the government finally changed the policy and started funding a full-day for the first year. It stung a bit that we missed it by a year and were out so much money. Still happy they did the right thing and changed the funding policy though.

BrookeDavisQueen · 13/02/2023 19:48

Saltywalruss · 13/02/2023 16:34

Spending more time in child care really isn't a brilliant thing for most children though, although obviously it's helpful for parents who need to work.

That's actually not true. There's lots of evidence of how beneficial it is. All the way through to GCSE.

Nearlyamumoftwo · 13/02/2023 20:26

Hi @DownInTheDumpster a bit odd to be annoyed that others may now get more help (eg you might be paying a better interest rate on your mortgage than others because your timing was better, is that unfair?) but what I’m worried about is quality of care slipping. The nurseries get c£4.80 an hour when children take out 15/30 hour funded places. Yes the parents of these children still have to pay extra but a lot is in some way subsidised by the families of younger children paying full price…. If these children are getting funded hours too, I wonder how they will come up with the shortfall.

AnotherAppleThief · 13/02/2023 20:34

I'm a childminder and I hope this doesn't happen. I'm not prepared to keep subsidising parents when they refuse to pay to extra I lose in offering the funding (as is happening right now with a child).

I'm also not going to look after more children for the same or less money- who would do that??

surreygirl1987 · 14/02/2023 14:04

I totally get it, OP. We had 2 under 2 and at one point we were paying more than £3k a month in childcare fees... I was paying more than I earned, which was brutal.

However, it is a step forward for the world and I guess we need to hold onto that.

surreygirl1987 · 14/02/2023 14:04

Women don't pay for childcare, parents pay for it, it's a joint expense that should be factored in prior to conceiving. Making the bill half the father's responsibility after a split would be a good start

Oh, open your eyes!

oakleaffy · 14/02/2023 14:08

Comedycook · 13/02/2023 16:58

I get it.

Not quite the same thing but whe my dad died inheritance tax threshold was £250k. Meant we paid hundreds of thousands in iht. The threshold went up to a million. Gutted.

Is the inheritance tax threshold really a million now?