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Original poster

Most cringey thing a bloke has done to seem interesting/enigmatic/romantic?

26 replies

Echobelly · 13/02/2023 09:56

I am many decades out of dating, and didn't even date that much, so I didn't really experience this though I did have one date with this guy who was all 'I think you're a really cynical person' in a way that implied he thought I'd be flattered he thought I was 'smart', when I'm not cynical at x all and I find cynicism often something people affect to try to look clever.

Have you ever caught out a bloke, IRL or online, being melodramatic, 'negging' or some other dumb move to try to make himself look intriguing but failing totally?

OP posts:
Basecampzero · 13/02/2023 09:59

I've had a couple of men play me in person their self penned compositions with full eyes closed crooning. It made me want to turn my skin inside out.

George Michael they were not.

Not negging though. That's really a turn off. I wish I'd known about it when I was a young woman. I'm imagining it was pretty universal but I was totally naive about it!

Original poster
Echobelly · 13/02/2023 10:03

Oh dear! Songs could really go either way, but when it's bad it's very bad! 😱

OP posts:
Nopetryagain · 13/02/2023 10:15

Singing heartfelt self penned songs to me. My vagina shuddered and not in a good way.

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Dating General relationships
WinterFoxes · 13/02/2023 10:18

A man who had a crush on me (I was newly married, didn't stop him trying) once tried to impress me by saying, 'Wow! When Juliet says "Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo?", she's not asking where he is, she's asking why does he have to be Romeo - like, why can't he be from a family her father approves of.'

I cringed so much. I wouldn't expect most people to know that necessarily, but I have an English degree and so had he. If he'd got as far as graduating without learning what the most famous line in Shakespeare actually means, and had so little interest in language that he didn't know what 'wherefore' meant when he must have read it it dozens of other texts, then he was a lazy plank. And for him to think I didn't know what it meant after I'd specialised in Shakespeare just made me squirm.

He was trying to be oh so intellectual and bringing the subject around to love via a literary reference. I hate the phrase 'the Ick' but Ick!

JollyGood777 · 13/02/2023 11:49

I hear that some men join mumsnet to relate to some of the issues that mother's encounter BUT we all know they would rather talk about football & karaoke than the social development of their toddler...... just sayin'

FigTreeInEurope · 10/09/2023 18:36

JollyGood777 · 13/02/2023 11:49

I hear that some men join mumsnet to relate to some of the issues that mother's encounter BUT we all know they would rather talk about football & karaoke than the social development of their toddler...... just sayin'

I've got zero interest in football or karaoke, but I am a full time dad, home schooler, part time worker, and do literally everything around the house while my wife is at work. It's not the 1950s. I love mumsnet, not just because it's a parenting platform, but because it's a people platform. So many varied viewpoints, on so much of life.

AffIt · 10/09/2023 18:47

My 20-year-old niece and I (44) went to see the Barbie movie recently.

Both of us honked laughing at the 'being played guitar at' bit, realised what we were doing, looked at one another and said 'you too?'.

Apparently some things never change.

Throwncrumbs · 10/09/2023 18:49

JollyGood777 · 13/02/2023 11:49

I hear that some men join mumsnet to relate to some of the issues that mother's encounter BUT we all know they would rather talk about football & karaoke than the social development of their toddler...... just sayin'

Thought that last bit said ‘todger’😂

m00rfarm · 10/09/2023 18:53

WinterFoxes · 13/02/2023 10:18

A man who had a crush on me (I was newly married, didn't stop him trying) once tried to impress me by saying, 'Wow! When Juliet says "Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo?", she's not asking where he is, she's asking why does he have to be Romeo - like, why can't he be from a family her father approves of.'

I cringed so much. I wouldn't expect most people to know that necessarily, but I have an English degree and so had he. If he'd got as far as graduating without learning what the most famous line in Shakespeare actually means, and had so little interest in language that he didn't know what 'wherefore' meant when he must have read it it dozens of other texts, then he was a lazy plank. And for him to think I didn't know what it meant after I'd specialised in Shakespeare just made me squirm.

He was trying to be oh so intellectual and bringing the subject around to love via a literary reference. I hate the phrase 'the Ick' but Ick!

But that IS what it means, isn't it?

GigiAnnna · 10/09/2023 19:04

I went on a date with some guy I'd been talking to online. In person I didn't fancy him at all so I knew I would make my excuses next time he asked me out as he seemed to really like me and could tell he expected it to lead somewhere. He insisted on getting the bus home with me and walking me right to my door despite him living miles away. I could tell he wanted to come in but I said goodbye and off he walked. A few days later was mother's day and I got a text at night from him, asking me to open my front door. I did, and I found a basket with bunch of flowers in it, a chocolate bar for me, chocolate buttons for my kids, body lotion. He must have thought I'd be really impressed but I got major creepy vibes from it and it really made me go off him. I thanked him for my present but I told him I'd met someone else the next time he suggested a date.
Strangely enough, this wasn't the only time a guy left presents on my doorstep at night. Another man from the dating site did the same and the gifts inside were almost identical to the first guy. I have no idea how he even got my address.

TimeForBedSaidZebadee · 10/09/2023 19:57

First date, I still lived at my mums and he came to pick me up from there.
I popped upstairs to get a coat and left him with my mum for all of two minutes. When I came downstairs they were both sitting on the sofa looking at a newspaper cutting. I asked what they were looking at and he showed me a photo of a model wearing a huge princess wedding dress. He said he carried it at all times so that he could show girlfriends how his ideal woman would look on their wedding day.
I'm not sure what reaction he was hoping for but it probably wasn't me legging it out of the back door and hiding at my mates house round the corner 😂😂

HelenFisksBrownSuit · 10/09/2023 20:01

But that IS what it means, isn't it?

Of course it is, and he was mansplaining this very commonly understood literary quotation to an English Lit specialist.

It's tragic.
🤓

EverythingYouDoIsaBalloon · 10/09/2023 20:51

Being argumentative. Usually to cover up poor social skills, in my experience.

EverythingYouDoIsaBalloon · 10/09/2023 20:53

TimeForBedSaidZebadee · 10/09/2023 19:57

First date, I still lived at my mums and he came to pick me up from there.
I popped upstairs to get a coat and left him with my mum for all of two minutes. When I came downstairs they were both sitting on the sofa looking at a newspaper cutting. I asked what they were looking at and he showed me a photo of a model wearing a huge princess wedding dress. He said he carried it at all times so that he could show girlfriends how his ideal woman would look on their wedding day.
I'm not sure what reaction he was hoping for but it probably wasn't me legging it out of the back door and hiding at my mates house round the corner 😂😂

OMG that's priceless! 😂 What was your mum's reaction?

Midnightgrey · 19/01/2024 06:53

Skydived. I am not sure she was impressed. I was kind of impressed that this earnest socially awkward man had the guts to do it. The only way I'd willingly parachute was if the plane was going down.

BibbleandSqwauk · 19/01/2024 07:09

One guy I knew, would offer his opinion on a subject despite acknowledging in his first sentence that he didn't know anything about it. If I then disagreed because it's my profession/ area of knowledge he'd dig in and continue to defend his stance, whilst still also acknowledging he didn't really know but "surely....". Grrrrr.

WoIsMe · 19/01/2024 07:10

One guy had his back waxed "for me." Tbh I hadn't even noticed that he had any hair on his back; if he did then it wasn't very much. He honestly seemed to think it was some grand romantic gesture.

fatphalange · 19/01/2024 13:16

On finding out that I don't eat meat, insisting that he would get me eating it. I've been a vegetarian all my life, I don't like meat. It's not a personality trait, but still. This guy wasn't having it. He was coming up with all the ways he would 'help' me and 'wean me' on to being a meat eater 😂 suggesting things like cooking me a 'really tasty' spag bol so that I'd realise how nice it is and 'work towards a steak' PAY ATTENTION TO MEN WHO DONT HEAR THE WORD NO. I told him that wouldn't be happening. He looked wounded and like I should've been impressed.

Scorchio84 · 19/01/2024 13:27

Self penned poetry & songs (2 different men, late teens/early twenties) the cringe was beyond belief especially since one comandeered a guitar that was minding it's own business at a house party one night 🙈

Conversely I still have some drawings/pictures (some from my teens!) from others that I'll always keep

ChaToilLeam · 19/01/2024 19:07

Bad poetry. Oh god, the bad poetry. I tried so hard to keep a straight face.

newyearnewnothing · 19/01/2024 19:09

" was your father a thief because he stole the stars from the sky and placed them in your eyes"
Said with a straight face in a first date.
There was no second date!

Jennalong · 19/01/2024 19:14

@fatphalange

My dh faked being vegetarian ( as I am ) when we first got together .
He's now been veggie for 20 years ! 😀

MaybeTooLate · 19/01/2024 19:18

JollyGood777 · 13/02/2023 11:49

I hear that some men join mumsnet to relate to some of the issues that mother's encounter BUT we all know they would rather talk about football & karaoke than the social development of their toddler...... just sayin'

No idea how this relates to the OP but I’m enjoying the idea that men all love to sit around discussing karaoke.

ReflectiveRogue1001 · 19/01/2024 19:22

ChaToilLeam · 19/01/2024 19:07

Bad poetry. Oh god, the bad poetry. I tried so hard to keep a straight face.

I've had that too.

Awful!

thebabessavedme · 19/01/2024 19:24

I was 18, went out with this fella twice then he showed me his new tattoo, my name on his leg! Dumped him there and then! weirdo!

About 50, happily married, fella I met at a hobby posted me a cd of a song he wrote declaring his undying love [🙄] never spoke to him again

Between 18 and 60, I cannot count the very peculiar encounters I have had with men, a very strange breed indeed Grin