Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Do you want people to mention weight loss?

38 replies

airfryerandelectricblanket · 12/02/2023 17:24

If you've obviously lost weight, do you want people to mention it?

I know some people won't in case it comes across that they are being rude.

I love people commenting on it. Equally, what I don't like is when someone says I've lost weight just because they know i am dieting (and there's no significant weight loss)!

As with everything, I'd sooner people were just honest!

OP posts:
Everydayitsgettingcloser · 12/02/2023 17:26

I lost weight due to a serious illness and felt like shit. I hated it when people told me how great I looked. So I don't mention it to other people unless I know for sure they are dieting and would be pleased

Original poster
airfryerandelectricblanket · 12/02/2023 17:29

Everydayitsgettingcloser · 12/02/2023 17:26

I lost weight due to a serious illness and felt like shit. I hated it when people told me how great I looked. So I don't mention it to other people unless I know for sure they are dieting and would be pleased

Yes, sorry, I hadn't thought of that! Hope you're well now!

OP posts:
Bonjovispjs · 12/02/2023 17:30

I love it when people say it, makes all the hard work worthwhile.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weight management
DuchessOfSausage · 12/02/2023 17:32

No. I don't want unsolicited comments about my appearance, although 'You look terrific' might be nice they'd be lying

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 12/02/2023 17:32

Depends on the situation.

If I been on social media talking about my morning runs and posting pictures of salads, then yes.

If I’d had glandular fever and not eaten properly for a month, then no.

AlotIsntAWord · 12/02/2023 17:34

You can’t have it both ways op. You want people to mention it, except when they do mention it if they know you’re dieting,and you don’t think there has been enough of a drop for them to notice it!

I don’t like people mentioning it because I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. Like ‘yeah thanks, I’m now not as fat as I used to be’? It’s aged me a lot so I know they aren’t mentioning it in a ‘you look good’ way too, so I’d rather they said nothing.

Changeisneeded · 12/02/2023 17:36

Honestly it just feels like people are saying you looked so terrible before. I hate any comment on weight that’s out of the blue whether it’s positive or negative as ultimately it’s unnecessary.

I’ve lost a bit of weight recently but I’m overweight still and it just feels like a veiled insult about how rubbish i used to look. No one knows I’m on a mission to lose weight!

glovepillow22 · 12/02/2023 17:36

I met a friend today who told me I was "tiny". Havent been dieting and haven't actually lost weight, felt weird lol I jist brushed it off and said I didn't think I had changed.

Teeshirt · 12/02/2023 17:39

No, I hate it. I have always been very slim and I hated it when people commented on my weight -assuming I had an eating disorder or wasn’t taking care of myself properly. It felt very insulting. Then when I was seriously ill and having treatment for cancer, it was even worse if people commented-as very few people knew I was ill. In general, no one should ever, ever make personal comments on anyone else’s weight, height etc.

Original poster
airfryerandelectricblanket · 12/02/2023 17:41

AlotIsntAWord · 12/02/2023 17:34

You can’t have it both ways op. You want people to mention it, except when they do mention it if they know you’re dieting,and you don’t think there has been enough of a drop for them to notice it!

I don’t like people mentioning it because I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. Like ‘yeah thanks, I’m now not as fat as I used to be’? It’s aged me a lot so I know they aren’t mentioning it in a ‘you look good’ way too, so I’d rather they said nothing.

That's not what I'm saying.

An example is that I might have just started a diet and simply lost a few pounds, yet my friend will say that she can see I've lost weight, although there's no difference.

I know she is trying to boost me by saying it to make me feel better, but I'd sooner someone tell me if they really could see it!

OP posts:
Dogsandchocolaterule · 12/02/2023 17:42

I don't think other peoples' weight are anyone else's business.

You never know if they have an eating disorder, just had bad news, an illness, struggling with something etc etc You could accidentally get it so wrong.

Where as "that's a nice top, that looks lovely on you" always works wonders as it's about their choice.

IrritableVowel · 12/02/2023 17:43

It feels weird to me. I am actively losing weight, and have dropped 4 stone do it is noticeable now, some people I haven't seen in a while have mentioned it. They are being nice/complimentary but I never know how to reply. I feel awkward.

I also changed my hair totally, and I get a lot of (nice) comments about that too, and I think sometimes people feel mentioning the hair is safer than mentioning the weightloss.

I don't take any of it as a veiled dig at me looking shit before though.

SpookTacula · 12/02/2023 17:45

Yeah! I've lost four stone and almost no fucker mentions it. I want a parade in my honour!

ditavonteesed · 12/02/2023 17:52

Close friends and family only, I hate it when anyone else mentions it. Especially if they just say you've lost a lot of weight, how are you supposed to respond to that it's just a statement of a fact it has no value to it. Also I hate that people see me now because it means they don't see overweight people and it annoys me.

Teeshirt · 12/02/2023 17:53

I seriously never in a million years would comment on anyone’s weight, weight gain, weight loss. It’s just so rude.

WordtoYoMumma · 12/02/2023 17:54

I don't like it. I am dieting and trying to lose weight but when someone mentions that I've lost weight I just think they are telling me how fat I was before 😂

I went to a party yesterday and a few people told me how nice I looked in my dress, I know I look better cos I have lost a bit of weight and the compliments felt nice because they weren't comparing me to a previous version of myself if that makes sense!

I would never ever comment on someone's weight unless we are v close and have had conversations about their weight loss journey.

BirdyBoop · 12/02/2023 17:55

No, I hate people mentioning anything about my appearance even if it's positive!

I dread seeing people after I've lost weight or had my hair cut in case they comment 😂

GoodVibesHere · 12/02/2023 17:59

I absolutely hate it. It's incredibly rude, and embarassing. It's also very patronising - I obviously know I've lost weight I can see and feel it so why are you telling me?! I'm on the short side and any weight gain or loss is quite quickly noticeable. I really, really hate the inane comment 'ooh you've lost weight'. If I've been dieting I'll obviously know I've lost weight.

Nobody ever, ever says 'ooh you've put on weight' but when I do gain weight I absolutely know they're thinking it, seeing as they comment when I lose weight.

Parisj · 12/02/2023 17:59

Well I want them to bow down to my amazing awesomeness but no, I don't want to have to awkwardly talk about ways of eating or maintaining weight loss. I know what pp means about people seeing you.

occa · 12/02/2023 18:05

Absolutely NOT. As someone who has lost a noticeable amount of weight as the result of a medical issue, I hate this with a passion.

Hotelfoxtrot · 12/02/2023 18:08

Yes. I lost 2 stone and was pretty gutted that no one seemed to notice/comment.

Bedusa · 12/02/2023 19:15

Hate it. Please don't mention it!

Valentinesquestion · 12/02/2023 19:19

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

KirstenBlest · 12/02/2023 19:33

If it was a simple observation, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. But it's always said as praise, as in you looked so bad before, now you look better.
My father used to do this, but it was praise for putting on weight, when I hadn't put on any.
Did I still look terrible? Did I look fat? What was he thinking? It made me dread visiting.

My take was that in my absence he would imagine me as being very thin, so when I visited I looked fairly normal, and I was skinny in comparison to the rest of the family.

KirstenBlest · 12/02/2023 19:42

You've just had your hair cut from long to shortish/shoulder length. There's always someone who says 'Oh but it was much nicer before'.

Cropped trousers - Some idiot will ask if I shrank them in the wash.
Linen anything - 'Don't you have an iron in your house?'
Any top with horizontal stripes - 'Bloody hell Kirst, your tits look massive in that dress.'

What do they get from saying these things? Have they no filter?
Do I just know some strange/rude people?

Swipe left for the next trending thread