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Original poster

What is friend implying?

30 replies

Choco865 · 12/02/2023 14:42

Hi all,

I’m really confused. So when I take annual leave I try to visit my friend who is 2 hours away. I’m on two week holiday. We have a bakery and I normally take her some fresh pastries, cakes (which she loves) etc from the shop so we can have with coffee. Today I messaged her to ask if she is free so I can come in the week. She replied I can only come if I bring xyz. Xyz mutual friends. They are all working. She said to not come without them. she has done this before but I didn’t think much of it. Iv said they are working and one time I went other times I didn’t. Now I’m thinking what is she implying? I messaged back I wont be able to come then as they are all working. No one is available. this person is meant to be my closest friend. I think I just realised we aren’t really as close as I thought we were. After I replied saying I won’t come then she didn’t reply back.

any thoughts on this?

OP posts:
FriedasCarLoad · 12/02/2023 14:45

That's really rude of her. And a bit confusing.

SeasonFinale · 12/02/2023 14:47

is she having to take annual leave too. If so maybe she thinks it's only worth giving up precious leave if she is seeing all of you and killing more than 2 birds with one stone

Original poster
Choco865 · 12/02/2023 14:47

@FriedasCarLoad thank you for the reply. I’m just thinking she no longer likes my company? So this must be the end of the friendship? It did happen before but I just didn’t think much of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Choco865 · 12/02/2023 14:48

@SeasonFinale she doesn’t work.

OP posts:
drpet49 · 12/02/2023 14:49

How fucking rude! Seriously forget about her as a friend.

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 12/02/2023 14:49

She actually said "don't come unless you bring my other friends"???
I'm gobsmacked.
This isn't a friendship, this is a taxi service for the people she actually wants to see.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 12/02/2023 14:51

That's really rude, she's not a good friend or even a friend. Block & delete.

Idontevenknow · 12/02/2023 14:51

Sorry OP but I don't think she is interested in your friendship anymore.

She lives 2 hours away- does she ever visit you, or is it all one way?

Notajogger · 12/02/2023 14:53

She's not a friend at all. I wouldn't say that to anyone let alone a friend! The cheek.

Strugglingtodomybest · 12/02/2023 14:54

That is really rude if her. I'd probably text back with, "so, have I got this right, you don't want me to visit alone?".

If she doesn't reply, I'd take that as a yes and that would be the end of the friendship for me.

Hillrunning · 12/02/2023 14:54

She can't possibly have actually said, 'you can only come if you also bring x'. Nobody is that rude

Original poster
Choco865 · 12/02/2023 14:55

@drpet49 @HiccupHorrendousHaddock @MeMyCatsAndMyBooks @Idontevenknow thank you for the replies. I can’t rememeber the last time she came here. Probably before covid.

@HiccupHorrendousHaddock thats exactly what she said. Feel kind of hurt.

@Idontevenknow I thought the same. She is not interested anymore. Did my best to close the distance and not to drift but I think I get it now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Choco865 · 12/02/2023 14:55

@Strugglingtodomybest I was going to message what you said but thought if she has made that comment is it even worth it. In my head I was thinking that too. So I can’t visit alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Choco865 · 12/02/2023 14:56

@Hillrunning she did. ☹️ so I didn’t bother saying I will still come. No one is available. All friends are working. No one can come.

OP posts:
Original poster
Choco865 · 12/02/2023 14:57

The message is:

yes I am free on Wednesday. Come over but don’t come over without XYZ.

OP posts:
Ofbollocks · 12/02/2023 14:58

That's so rude. Op, you can visit me and bring cakes 😁. You deserve a better friend. Don't chase her.

Happygone · 12/02/2023 14:58

I would ask her to clarify

Hillrunning · 12/02/2023 15:00

That's awful. I am so sorry. There is no implying here, she is very clear about not wanting to see just you. How hurtful.

EatingWormsMichael · 12/02/2023 15:00

How rude. I'd not pursue that friendship any further OP. Sorry, sounds like it's her loss.

Original poster
Choco865 · 12/02/2023 15:03

@Ofbollocks aw thats so sweet of you. Made me smile.

@Hillrunning @EatingWormsMichael thank you. Its quiet hurtful. Did so much to keep the friendship going. Because sometimes its easy for friends to drift when there is a distance.

@Happygone I think deep down I know what she implied so feel embarrassed to even ask her to clarify.

OP posts:
Prinnny · 12/02/2023 15:05

That is so rude! I wouldn’t bother replying, I imagine she won’t contact you again and that will tell you all you need to know about this ‘friendship’

HumourReplacementTherapy · 12/02/2023 15:06

That's so rude!!
What's your relations ship like with XYZ?
Can you arrange to go out with them one evening after work then message your arsehole friend to let her know you've decided to go out locally (without her?)

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 12/02/2023 15:09

She could be depressed if sitting alone all the time and not working. But does seem strange her behavior. Ask her outright is she ok and why do you need to have other friends there. Maybe she just does not want the focus on her, do you ask her questions or is she very sensitive. Weird situation. I would prefer to meet friend alone than in a group where it is all busy and not the same. Just ask her if she is ok and leave it at that and do something nice for yourself on your time off.

Strugglingtodomybest · 12/02/2023 15:09

I understand why you might not want to clarify op, but I would just because a) I've seen how easy it is to get the wrong end of the stick with messages (rather than talking), and b) if that is what she means, I'd want her to spell it out to me in the hope that she may then realise how rude she's being.

Original poster
Choco865 · 12/02/2023 15:10

@Prinnny I feel quiet upset. But at least I know my place now.

@HumourReplacementTherapy im good friends with xyz. But was closest to this one. Obviously not.

OP posts: