Being an adult is hard and sad. Is everyone sad?

[Calciferess]

I'm struggling, I have various shit going on. I don't have children and don't plan to. Im 40.

My friends are wonderful but they're all sad and struggling too. Several of them have babies/children/old or dying parents too.

We're all just trying to work and survive our various issues. But we're all struggling so much that when we meet up it feels like none of us have time or capacity to hear each other, and definitely not to support each other. We're all drowning. And im not even one of those with kids.

I'm just a bit lost. We all needs someone to talk to but we're pretty much all at our limits, or our problems are so different that we can't understand each other. It feels like we all leave our meet ups even less supported.

Does anyone else feel like this?

I have a counsellor as do a few of the others.

Everyone needs to have purpose/ a meaningful life.

Step back from anything that causes you negativity - partners, friends, family.

As humans we have to have a purpose in life.
There is a good book called ‘Man’s search for Meaning’ where he writes about his experiences in the concentration camps and witnesses how those with purpose coped much better than those that didn’t.

Your purpose is very unique though.

I have a challenging life as I am a single parent, I have a mentally draining job and I have no support as my parents have MH issues.
I have barely any money after I’ve paid my bills and very little free time but I love my life.

Do you enjoy your job?
Could you do some volunteer work with a charity?
Are you religious? If not you could explore your spiritual side.
You could take up a new sport.

Going on walks in nature in the fresh air is so underrated but is so good for your MH and outlook on life.
Why not suggest going for a nice long walk with your friends before going to a cafe.

OP I had this exact chat with my 28 son yesterday who is really struggling being an adult. Struggling with his MH and saw a GP this week who basically made him feel even bloody worse when he left the surgery .
Unfortunately we live in a rubbish world that I think many people could never have anticipated when growing up . I have no words of wisdom because I feel the same.💐X

It’s also important to appreciate the small things.

Someone posted that you aren’t in a war which some posters have thought was unfair but I do use these examples to tell myself life isn’t that bad.

If I’m having a very down day I will think about all of the things that I am grateful for - I am not homeless, I am not in an abusive relationship, I am not in a war zone, I feel safe in my own home, I get to watch whatever TV programme I like etc etc.

I do think thinking positively affects your outlook on life and actually makes you happier.

I also have a list of achievements like a bucket list.
Some of these are big things like doing a masters degree, going on holiday or owning my own home.
But others are much smaller - decorating my room, learning a language, losing weight, doing 30 days of yoga, reading new books etc.

I think ticking off things that you’ve achieved, even if really tiny can make you very proud of yourself.

Brilliant Advice am going to use some of your wisdom when I next chat with my son . Thank you 🙏

I'm 43 and I'm in a pretty contented place. I've had MH struggles in the past but my life situation was very different then - I was a skint single mum and life was always a struggle. I have more dc now and life is busy but so much more fulfilling, and I have the support and companionship from DH which is invaluable. And we're in a better financial place, which has definitely made life easier to deal with.

My life is all about my kids right now (2 under 5s) and seeking out fun experiences for them. If I didn't have them I would be looking for the same kind of experiences but for an adult audience (so instead of kids theatre and art, I'd be doing more grown up stuff). I think life can get stale just going through the grindstone - we need culture and nature and time to stop and reflect. But that's where the money does help, although lots of things we do doesn't cost much. But it does cost time and personal energy, which not everyone has.

@Casilero can you recommend some uplifting podcasts please?

@Rainbowshit I’m so sorry to hear that and agree totally about the previous poster, who seems to be an absolute twat. How absolutely awful. This is the OP’s point, there are plenty of people feeling utterly hopeless out there. It’s so sad.