How do you use a bidet?

[TheClitterati]

I've no idea. Do you face forward or back? Does water get everywhere? Do you dry yourself with loo roll? That seems to defeat the purpose. Is the water cold? Is it nice? Will I get addicted? 😂

I've just booked a holiday in Italy and all the hotel bathrooms have bidets so I'm going to give it a go. But I really don't want to Google instructions- cause yikes!

Please enlighten me Mumsnet!

No everyone has their own towel. Bigger than a flannel, smaller than a hand towel. They get changed every day.

At last, I have waited years to find out these answers. Every day is a learning one on Mumsnet😁

It is my husband's dream to get a Toto washlet for our bathroom 😂

I've always fancied a Japanese toilet but anything that complicated with electronics is bound to go wrong at some time isn't it? I wonder if a low tech bidet would be better.

Forwards or you’d not be able to turn it on. It’s the best thing ever and I’m gutted we don’t have room for one.

You can get a bidet toilet seat? No extra space needed, just an electrician to install electrical sockets near the toilet so they can be plugged in. They work great and some have heated seats which is nice.

I am currently living in a house with no bidet for the first time in many years, I hate it.
It's so good to be able to wash properly without having to have a bath or shower every time.
I like that you can fill them with warm water and add salt for sore bits, or just rinse off when needed.
Next house will have one, or space for one.

Oh this reminds me of a story I was told by my ex's mum. She went a house party (probably in the 80's) and had a few drinks. Went to the loo for a number 2. To her drunken horror she realised she'd pooped in the bidet but for some unknown reason instead of scooping it out and flushing down the loo she wrapped it up in loo roll and put in in her handbag!

I have no idea what she was thinking. She was never a big drinker and quite posh so I can only imagine the incident left her never able to drink in public again 🤣

I've got a poor man's bidet ... a jug of water + toilet. After the usual poo and wipe I fill the jug with warm water, use soap as per usual shower routine, then sit on loo and rinse with water from jug. It's simple and so effective 😎Ideal for quick freshen ups.

Have to make do with flushable wipes but will aim to get a bidet one day!

Don't flush them! They bugger up the sewage system and help create fatbergs.

When we had our bathroom done I insisted that the plumber install a bidet next to the loo.

It's in exactly the right place to sit on the loo (cover down) and soak cold feet in warm water in winter and wash hot sticky feet in cool water in summer. Bliss. I always have the right temperature (and clean) feet when I get into bed.

Worth a watch on You Tube. You use the toilet, a small nozzle slides out after flushing and sprays warm water on your nether regions. Then, it's warm air. Japanese are big on hygiene so no towels. Amazing. You can control the temp etc with a handset. These toilets are a standard fitting in Japan

You don’t Need to take off your clothes, just push trousers down to your ankles.

and if there is no towel dedicated to me, eg at a friends house, I do use scrunched up toilet paper to dry up after the bidet.

I am surprised nobody has mentioned the water jet’s potential for some stimulating experiences.

I'm on an Italian forum where there are multiple posts from Italians who are equally as confused as to how people manage in countries without a bidet, they really can't get their heads around it & most find it hard when visiting countries where they don't exist! They are mandatory here in any domestic or hotel property.
Regarding towel sharing, we all have our own, there's a stack in our bathroom near the bidet, you use it & then chuck in the wash basket. I would never use a towel in someone else's house.
At work there a bidet but I don't think anyone uses it and if they did there are paper towels near it. To be clear bidets are used after you've cleaned yourself as normal with toilet paper, they are not a substitute for the paper.

When the Simpsons go to Japan the toilet Homer uses has a camera that displays on the tv channel in the hotel room. Cue screams from the family.

God this thread is raising more questions than answering them for me!!

So these Japanese ones, can you pause the spray if you're not ready, or is it just automatic? How does it know when you're finished?

People talking about soaking their feet in their bidets, how? Where do you sit? Surely a normal chair would be too low?

The little bum gun attachments, how on earth do they work in households with children? Don't you find regular tsunamis in there?

People who sit in their bidets like it's a small bath, that must take some proper drying afterwards. Surely you have to take off your lower clothing completely or you'd be dripping on it when you stand up? What a blooming palava!

We got rid of ours when we remodeled the bathroom and I miss it so much.

I only ever use after a poo or sex. Clean with loo roll first then wash. I sit on it like a toilet, find it better that way but there's not really a wrong way to do it, unless using it as a water fountain!

When we remodel the en suit I'm reinstating the bidet!

I am somewhat of an expert on Japanese toilets!
You can’t beat ‘em although bidets can be used for (say) ringing feet.

How do you use a bidet?
Depends if you're defrosting a turkey or bathing a Yorkshire terrier

I want to thank everyone on this thread - I just had to do an unexpected last minute longhaul flight which took me via Dubai. At Dubai airport all the toilets had the hose attachments. Thanks to this thread I braved the hose and it was lovely! Nice refreshing private parts shower in transit!

Next stop Italy & the bidets (in about 10 days)

I’ve wasted spent 2 hours looking at bidets, or more accurately bidet toilet seats. The benefit of the seats over the bidets or attachments types is that the jet of water appears to suggest a ‘hands off’ approach except in extreme circumstances.They are also much cheaper. I would love a Japanese one though.

Would love to have one, or even a hose

I holidayed in Istanbul recently , lots of places had just a hole in the floor as a toilet - Not fun

I think the hose is superior - although not if you have kids who are likely to spray it anywhere, and obviously it makes it harder to have a properly adjustable temperature (given they're mainly found in hot places, where even the cold water is a bit warm, vs. here where the cold water is freezing)

😂😂😂🤣

Um... are you not just sitting in a small bath of poo bits?

I shower after a poo.